How to keep your girl happy:

Step 1: Make her laugh. Step 2: Make her moan.

Step 3: Buy her food

Step 4: Fuck her hard

Step 5: trEAT her right

Step 6: Make her cum first

Step 7: Play with her hair until she falls asleep

Step 8: Text her back fast

Step 9: respect her

Step 10: make her feel special

Step 11: don’t lie to her

Step 12: Love her with all of your heart

Step 13: kiss her forehead

Step 14: hug her

Step 15 : stay.

Step 16: Always tell her she’s beautiful

step 17: surprise her with her favorite flowers

step 18: always make her first priority

step 19: cook for her

Step 20: love her harder on her bad days

are lesbian mermaids called h2omosexuals

Slipping your hand into your partners panties while cuddling and teasing them until they’re wet and riding your fingers and shaking and moaning is a mood

How do I politely ask someone to slam me against a wall and make out with me

House in Camperdown, Australia by Matt Woods Design | 📷 Katherine Lu

Warehouse conversion in Sant Antoni, Barcelona by Valentí Albareda of Metric Integra.

📷 José Hevia

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?

My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

.

While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.

But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

IT GOT SO MUCH BETTER.

I have two moods:

Mobius / Antony Gibbon

girls in button-up shirts reblog if you agree

I love camping 🌲🏕⛰