For reals, it doesn't even have to be a whole cat.

...That sounded wrong.

Anyway, I have a neighbor who rescued a frostbitten, bedraggled little kitten with a badly injured leg, he had to have some amputations done at the vet's and though Admiral Nelson has some battle scars, he's the dearest, cuddliest tri-paw'd, one-eyed, half-tailed thing ever, and sure enough, the judges considered him Best in Class for his personality and demeanor. He didn't just get a ribbon, but a little medal and he did so well at the cat show, that's how come my neighbor decided to get him formally certified as a therapy cat. Now he has a little vest, and alternately a sort of navy uniform one with a pinned-up sleeve, and when humans are dealing with orthopedic surgery, amputations, even just being unwell in general at a rehabilitation facility where my neighbor works, they sometimes get to spend time with him and often feel quite a bit better.

There was an awkwardness when a nurse had a tuna salad sandwich at the charge desk, the Admiral decided to leave his sleeping patient and go inquire if a deserving cat might have a quick bite between watches, a different patient spotted him in his naval uniform and was worried her medication was causing hallucinations, but apart from that, the little guy does awfully good work and is a popular fellow.

All cats are best cat. That is science.

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

y- you were putting it in cold water?????

Radish. Answer the question radish.

yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn’t realize there was an actual reason

You dont have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???

[ID: Tags reading “u think i have the patience to boil water wtf ?????” /End ID]

why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it

Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove

Its takes less than a minute

Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the fucking sun

How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove

Like seven minutes

Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes… less than that is u use a saucepan…

Crying you’re putting the whole mug on the stove ???? On medium heat???? Ur stove is enchanted

Every single person in this post is a fucking lunatic

After sex you see me roll over and go to balcony. You think ive gone for smoke due to my melancholic nature but I’ve opened sudoku.com evil level

i think as a writer, the older you get and the more you read, the more you realize there are very few actual truly bad ideas. which is a relief. but! the other thing you learn is that stories live and die on the execution and ha ha. lemme tell you. unfortunately. there are lots and lots of bad ways to execute an otherwise fine idea

i see a post talking doom and gloom about how we'll never escape toxic masculinity. i think about back in 2017 when american girl released their first boy doll, and a review for him went viral in the collecting community. the review was written by a mom, who said they went into the store to get their daughter a doll, only to see their son's eyes light up like fire when he saw a doll that looked like him, and now every night he puts his doll in pajamas and rocks him to sleep. i think about the toddler in my daycare room a few years back who was obsessed with baby dolls, carrying them everywhere, and his mom proudly told us he uses his sisters' old baby dolls and wants to be just like them. that toddler saw another toddler crying one day and gave her the doll he had to cheer her up. i think about the eight-year-old boy i saw a few years back, excitedly waving around raya's sword in a target checkout line like all his dreams were coming true. there was a video on my instagram the other day of a little boy at disneyworld crying with joy upon meeting his hero, mulan. i think about the voice actor for bow in the she-ra reboot saying his nephews only wanted adora action figures. celebrity men are wearing dresses on tv now. last halloween i saw a little boy dressed as elsa. i went to go see spiderverse over the summer, and in the line ahead of me was a boy who couldn't be older than twelve or thirteen, bouncing and beaming, giddy with excitement over getting to see the female-led romance movie elemental. i think about the five-year-old boy at my library who breathlessly asked me where the pinkalicious books were, eyes widening when i had more on my cart, his mom explaining that he is all about pinkalicious and fancy nancy. i saw so many pictures online of boys and men dressed in pink to see barbie. teenage boys are gonna open their phones and see the man who wrote fucking game of thrones dressed in pink to see barbie. when i was a kid, a boy dressing in pink was practically a social death sentence. there are boys running around in pink on my street right now.

AORACE SWAG TOURNAMENT

recently learned about Lita Ford, the guitarist for Joan Jett's band The Runaways, who found herself in perhaps one of the cockamamie predicaments of all time

this shit literally sounds like the plot of a yuri manga. girliepop walked right into the setup for a 60,000 word slowburn f/f fanfic and couldn't even appreciate it

The reason she got back with them is almost as funny. She literally got Straight Larried cause they couldn't find anyone else who could shred as good.

oh…

[Image descriptions: 1. Screenshot of an article titled, ‘When You Give a Tree an Email Address.’ The subtitle reads, ‘The city of Melbourne assigned trees email addresses so citizens could report problems. Instead, people wrote thousands of love letters to their favorite trees.’ A photo above the headline shows a path lined by tall trees whose branches overlap so that the sky is barely visible. The article is by Adrienne Lafrance and was posted on 10 July 2015. 2. Text that says: Then the emails began to arrive. Milman writes that instead of damage reports, people began to write fan mail to trees, complimenting their looks and leaves and telling tales of how they’d helped them survive during inclement meather. Some trees even write back. 3. Text that says: “My dearest Ulmus,” the message began. “As I was leaving St. Mary’s College today I was struck, not by a branch, but by your radiant beauty. You must get these messages all the time. You’re such an attractive tree.” This is an excerpt of a letter someone wrote to a green-leaf elm, one of thousands of messages in an ongoing correspondence between the people of Melbourne, Australia, and the city’s trees. 4. A photo of a tree in front of a tall building, with a text box that says: hey, how ya doing? - me p.s. would you consider your fingers to be your branches or your roots? 5. A photo of a tree on a bike path, with a text box that says: Dear Rose Gum, Over the past year I have cycled by you each day and want you to know how much joy you give me. No matter the weather or what is happening around you, you are strong, elegant, and beautiful. I wanted you to know. Love. 6. A photo of a tree by a car park with a text box that says: Dear Nettle, I just moved in three months ago and I’m very glad that I can talk to you through this system. I live in the first floor and I can actually see you through my window! I’m having trouble sleeping at night because of the noise of cars and ambulances at night, hope you’re not suffering that much and be able to have a good sleep. Thank you for blocking the noises from the street and wish the birds don’t do harm to you. Pleasant to meet you and have a nice day! Cheers! 7. A photo of a tree in front of a tall building, with a text box that says: Hello tree. I don’t actually know you, but recently I’ve been wondering what trees say. A friend of mine gave me your contact information, so I thought I would go straight to the source. So here is my question: what would you tell people if you could speak? 8. A photo of a tree in a field by a path, with a text box that says: Dear beautiful grassland gum, I know things may get a little glume-y when you only have grasses for company, but today is your day to shine! Happy National Eucalypt Day! Your friend. 9. A photo of a tree in front of a brick building, with a text box that says: Hi Tree 1022794, How’s it going? I walk past you each day at uni, it’s really great to see you out in the sun now that the scaffolding is down around Building 100. Hope it all goes well with the photosynthesis. All the best. 10. A photo of a tree in a patch of grass by a read, with a text box that says: Dear Smooth-barked Apple Myrtle, I am your biggest admirer. I have always wanted to mee you, but tragically, I’m stuck in New York. I think you are the most handsome tree of them all, tall with an inviting open canopy. I love to just dream of you, the smell of your clusters of white flowers, the sight of your lush, dark green foliage, and feel of your patterned bark. You inspire me to live life to the fullest, and pursue my dreams; you keep growing despite the terrible tragedies in this world. You are loved and deserve the world. Love, some person in New York 11. A photo of a tree by a path with a fence, with a text box that says: Dear Magnificent River Red Gum, I admire you every day as I walk past you on my way to and from work. You seem to have been around for some time. IS there any chance that you were here for longer than the time of white settlement? You look to me to be substantially older than any of the other trees around Princes Park. Is this true? Does this entitle you to any special treatment? How old might you be? Hopefully you will outlast me in the land of the living. I am very interested to know more of your history. Regards and hope you enjoyed the rain this weekend after such a long dry month. \End description]

Yall gotta stop equating all religion with Christianity, specifically with white evangelical Christianity. Like. Ok.

"I had a bad time at fundie church 3000 so anyone who finds comfort in religion is a sheep. Christianity is the only religion, btw. None of those Heathen Religions I only half learned about count"

I love song fan theories that put the whole song into a new context. The kind that don't really contradict anything in the song, but just offer an interpretation of what the song is actually about. Like "The Piano Man is about a beautiful himbo musician who has no idea he's been playing in a gay bar, and got hired as much for eye candy as for the music", and "the whole song Jolene is just a really long and intense 3 AM voicemail, and Jolene does not even want her man." Can't get enough of those.

why do all my internet friends have to live so far away im literally going to be sick. when will they invent a computer you can climb through

is this really too much to ask......................... :(

the whole series is good like it is set up PERFECTLY but last olympian really GOES OFF

what do you MEAN an unwilling hero who never wanted ANY of this in the first place was thrown into the middle of a war at the age of twelve and then stepped up to claim a prophecy to protect a younger child from having to do it . what do you MEAN the antagonist explicitly stated he turned away from the gods after a failed quest his dad sent him on made him bitter because “where’s the glory in repeating what other people have done?” what the HELL do you MEAN luke and percy two INCREDIBLY SIMILAR people spend all four books hating each other’s guts and mutually taunting each other while the whole time annabeth INSISTS luke has merely been led astray. are you telling me the entire series is about choosing to reject the deadly pride of heroes???? not trying to FIGHT FATE and SEEK GLORY which has always gotten heroes killed but just trying to DO THE RIGHT THING? and you’re telling me sally jackson who said ‘if my life is going to mean anything i have to live it myself’ and rejected poseidon’s offer to make her immortal named the hero of this story PERSEUS in hopes that he would have a happy ending and she raised him with these values. what the FUCK DO YOU MEAN last olympian completely subverts the idea of the chosen one by making the prophecy culminate in doing nothing what the FUCK do you mean hestia said “not all powers are spectacular the hardest one to master is the power of yielding” and “You are a good hero, Percy Jackson. Not too proud. I like that. But you have much to learn” and what percy has to LEARN is SYMPATHY FOR LUKE, showing how this entire cycle began because the gods expect their children to be heroes and use them as bargaining chips or errand boys or for bragging rights without showing a SHRED of affection or appreciation and it culminated in REJECTING THE ULTIMATE GOAL OF TRADITIONAL GREEK HEROISM: IMMORTALITY AND GODHOOD ? no wonder we’re all still here wtf

One thing that MASSIVELY pisses me off is how fainting is shown in media. It’s always the person sways a little, collapses in one movement, and then is unconscious for like… fucking ages??? They wake up hours later tucked under a blanket and it’s acted like that’s normal. It’s NOT. A person that’s fainted should be back with you pretty quickly, actually:

(From NHS website)

I had an experience in my last work place where I fainted, but because it looks so different to how it’s shown in film and TV my managers had no idea what had happened. Here’s a comparison of usual media vs my actual fainting that they were all confused by-

Films, TV shows, plays etc:

1) Person goes “oh goodness” or something similar whilst holding hand to chest

2) eyes roll back, gracefully falls to the floor

3) nearby people see the poor fainted person, pick them up, put them on a bed or sofa

4) person comes to hours or even days later with no idea what happened and everyone else is just like “oh good you’ve woken up 🙂”

My usual fainting experience:

1) Everything starts spinning. Incapable of making words as my sole focus is on trying to get myself to the ground ASAP

2) Stumble to floor/chair/ anything I can lean against

3) Quick violent slump as actual faint occurs. There is no dainty falling- the whole body has hit shut down. Usually smack my head on the floor if I haven’t managed to get myself somewhere soft

4) Aware of surroundings almost immediately, but takes a few seconds to fully come back round

5) Carefully sit back up and explain to everyone going “what the fuck happened” that I fainted, and no, I do not need smelling salts actually.

This is like the heart attack discourse...  much needed.

100% how fainting looks and feels, from both sides.

Here’s HSTHETE, the 24 hour comic I drew this year!  Thanks to everybody who followed along on twitter this weekend as I posted these pages <3

PS: if you liked this, there’s a whole book of these comics available now!

tumblr isn’t a social media it’s a farmers market and the people you follow are the vendors and your mutuals are regulars and sometimes a person I buy pumpkins from will start selling realistic models of sailboats and damn i’m not gonna buy any but I will come by and compliment you on your sailboats

Sometimes the bakery stall that's been selling top tier muffins and bread for years all of a sudden has an entire table dedicated to moss balls wearing little hats. and the correct response to that is "okay! happy for you!"

This makes sense. I like to go to the farmers market and say hi to all the vendors sometimes.

People who think sheep are killed for their wool are so hilarious to me. Does your barber slit your throat whenever you get a haircut?? Are you a returning customer to Sweeney Todd? Lmao it grows back, fools.

This is completely ignoring the fact that the sheep's soul is stored in its wool. So sure, the body remains, but the spirit, the essence of the sheep, that's gone forever, and then as the wool regrows a new soul moves in.

What

Same for me, I get a new soul with every haircut. That's why my personality changes so much.

Tumblr citizenship means being completely unsure if the person posting about sheep souls is being 100% serious or is just taking the piss.

I spent a good chunk of my weekend scrambling to finish this comic. I hope you like it. I was really trying to push myself with the colours.

You know what’s wild? This comic still gets reblogged every single day. I made it so long ago it doesn’t even feel like my own work haha. Anyways, I guess I’m glad people still like it but it’s very weird to have One Piece of Art that Doesn’t Fade.