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The Fair Folk: “I can’t believe this. Twenty years I’ve cleaned your house and you DARE to try to REPAY me with GIFTS. This is such an insult. Fuck you, you insolent humans. I’m leaving here and never returning because you have insulted me so deeply.”

Also the Fair Folk: “Remember that one time you pulled a thorn out of a cat’s foot? That was me. To show my gratitude, here is a house made of solid gold, a life-debt, my daughter’s hand in marriage, and a promise that all your children will be gorgeous and successful at all that they do. I can also throw in a blow job if you want. I hope this is enough. I don’t want to seem ungrateful.”

ship are you making a callout post for faeries

#now to be fair #i have always interpreted this dichotomy as#you can leave them gifts #but not as repayment#because otherwise you’re just paying them to clean your house#and so the insult is to imply that they are servants performing labor for compensation#when in reality they are Magnanimous Bros#totally just cleaning your nasty house out of the goodness of their good good hearts#and if you want to also be a bro #and give them some uncurdled milk and honey#that’s cool because that’s what bros do#but if you’re like ‘here’s some food for cleaning my house’ it’s like #EXCUSE ME#ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT YOU’RE ONLY GIVING ME THIS BECAUSE I DID SOMETHING FOR YOU#WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU#FUCK OFF WITH THAT THEN I THOUGHT WE WERE BROS

This is the quality content I look for on my dash

The only bro code worth following.

Happy Halloween!! Eat lots of candy and stuff!!!

I love Tumblr’s holiday traditions.

‘tis the season, time to reblog pocketss halloween flight rising comic

if you like golf i don’t have to listen to you

oh you can hit a little ball with a stick? very cool! america alone wastes 9 billion liters of water a year maintaining golf courses

oh whoa the ball went in a hole? that’s nuts man! in order for golf courses to be created, entire forests are often leveled, with whole ecosystems being destroyed

oh you hit the ball again, this time really far? way to go, buddy! one golf course’s carbon footprint is ten times that of the average person’s, and courses’ pesticide and fertilizer runoff is devastating waterways

i hate it when game devs put “fixed several issues” in patch notes 

no. tell me what you fixed. i wanna know what the glitch was.

you know those patch notes that are like “fixed an issue where if the player sat in a bush for too long, they’d become the size of a skyscraper” 

i wanna read those. tell me those. 

Adjusted value of Bees. Now that was a special one… because every item in the game had a minimum value, and a beehive was a container for bees, which each had a minimum value… which meant the moment one of your dwarves picked up a beehive, your entire fortress’ net worth skyrocketed… a value used in determining how powerful the foes that visit and try to murder you are.

Reblogging for the explanation of what “adjusted value of bees” actually means, because I know several folks following this blog have been wondering.

focuses really hard and concentrates all the microplastics in my body and then coughs this up in ur hand

Hey europe, FUCK OFF

i cant stop fucking laughing

North is right. I had to look it up and this house looks like purgatory

girl lives in a tooth

How do you mail a super soaker full of red kool aid to this kid

snoopy of the day

Mutuals this is me kissing you all goodnight 💕

eventual Mama's boy

I had this idea of an octopus using a underwater coffin as a place to store its treasures. So…I made it!🖤

My thoughts about AI artists.

i was about to say this is at the Toronto airport and then suddenly it definitely. Was. Not.

What would happen if you got an email

i would check it

You sick fuck.

are you ready

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY 🎉🦀

James: “HEEHEEHEE WE PUT THE THEY IN THEM!”

Jessie: “a”

we put the they in them thursday

Pokemon Heritage Post Thursday

good things will happen 🧿

things that are meant to be will fall into place 🧿

THIS ONE FUCKING WORKS. REBLOG IT.

this for real fucking works

sorry. what the fuck was that?

he gaggy on my rogers until I whoopsy-doo

Playing Doom on a pregnancy tester.

why? because. 

That pregnancy test has… bluetooth? Wha- wait, what does “Win” do? Isn’t there a key on the row with the spacebar (meta)? SO MANY QUESTIONS!

The keyboard is not part of the pregnancy test. I had to add that in order to have enough buttons to play doom, as previously the test only had two inputs:

* pee on it

* pee on it while pregnant

And this would have made it difficult to play doom, not being enough keys and taking a long time for each input.