happy "is it tuesday or wednesday?" friday

Spooky Shopkeeper: The price may be more than you expect to pay.

Me: Yes, I know how US taxes work, too.

Shopkeeper, increasingly exasperated: I’m trying to tell you that I’m evil and offering these wares with no regard for the harm they will do!

Me, also increasingly exasperated: I know what capitalism is too goddammit

this is one of my favorite posts

Fish uses watergun

(via)

I'm really tired and out of it

Turned out i was dehydrated

College will acquaint you so thoroughly to the reality that your body has needs that, if unmet, will make you feel like Death For A Thousand Years In The Abyss, a fate so disproportionate to the simplicity of drinking An Water or eating A Food or perhaps indulging in A Sleep or Washing Off The Gunk, that you are constantly humbled by the pure silliness of being made of mortal flesh

RELEASE THE RACCOONS

this is a life saving advice

It really is! But then college also acquaints you with anxiety, so that sometime drinking a glass of water or eating or sleeping are just - god damn near impossible.

In such cases, I use this website called youfeellikeshit.com. It's made out of a series of questions/tasks that helps you navigate anxiety and alleviate various discomforts (dehydration, hunger, but also noise, clothes/body warm, mental struggles...). I've found it particularly effective, and I've even thought of drinking and eating on my own the last time my anxiety was through the roof.

HE LEETLE FEETSYS

very glad to see this post reduced everyone else mental capacity for communication as well

@deadlydeamonflashmob

Never get tired of this little lad. He try so hard ^^

this lil guyyyyyyyyyyyy

AAAAAH THE WEE BATTY

Because I'm only seeing other Jews posting about this, non-Jews I need you to be aware that for the past month or two there has been a wave of bomb threats and swattings at synagogues all across the US. They usually do it when services are being livestreamed. I haven't seen a single non-Jew talking about this. High holidays are coming up in a few weeks, which is when most attacks happen against our communities. We're worried, and we need people to know what's happening to us.

I graduated high school in 99.

There was a student at our school named Wayne.

Wayne was gay. It was obvious. He was unable to stay in the closet even if he wanted to. To make matters worse, he was also Black. From a bullying standpoint, that was not a great combo. Both Black and white students made fun of him relentlessly. He was ostracized from the only community that may have given him protection. Only us theater kids stuck up for him, but not to significant effect.

Wayne was bullied so much that at one point he finally snapped and attacked his bullies with a lunch tray. I was actually seated in perfect line of sight and just sat there chewing my soggy fries in stunned silence. It didn't even seem real as I was witnessing it. The image of him wailing on his main bully as the food on his tray flew off is permanently logged into my long term memory.

The bully he attacked had blood all over his face and went straight to the nurse. Other than superficial cuts, he was not injured.

Before the attack, Wayne went to teachers for help. He went to guidance counselors for help. He went to the principals for help.

He did all of the things you were supposed to do. No one helped him. They wagged a finger at the bullies and warned them to stop.

Wayne's lunch tray melee was the only thing that worked. His bullies stayed far away from him. But a week later Wayne was expelled and the bullies were given no punishment.

So... no.

No one in my school talked about being trans.

Because the only way to survive being openly queer was to bash people with a lunch tray.

GWAH! by lokitheraven

@parotcardsroxy

Gwah!

Gwah?

Gwah!

Gwah!

Gwah?

Fluffy Fluffy Pancakes

by Chocolates & Chai

"i'm not triggered or upset by or even ideologically opposed to it, i just associate it with something so bad that i can't enjoy it anymore" is such a frustrating relationship to have with a piece of media

it’s covered in the fucking ooze!!

Friendly reminder that LGBTQ+, Queer, and LGBT+ are the preferred terms for the community (x).

Friendly reminder that Queer is approved by 72.9% of the people, and the groups who don’t prefer it’s use as an umbrella term are straight people, exclusionists, transmeds, truscums, sex-negative people, and sex work critical people (x).

Friendly reminder that aros and aces are excluded only 9.2% / 8.1% of the time respectively while being included  78.9% / 81.2% of the time (x)

Friendly reminder that exclusionists are in the minority and aro/ace people are included in the LGBTQ+ community by the people within the community.

Also, i checked out the survey the second claim sources a while back: this is not OP choosing the words truscum, exclusionist, etc. These are labels that the survey gave people the option to self-identify as. It’s self-proclaimed exclusionists who dont like the word queer, not random accusations

yeah that’s super important. 

This one gets reblogged on main. The reclassification of ‘queer’ as an inexcusable slur is a recent development which stems in part from exclusionist rhetoric. We reclaimed it decades ago. Learn our history. You are not immune to TERF propaganda, but you can absolutely choose to educate yourself to spite it.

Be kind. 💜

Doge is 17 and peacefully enjoying cherry blossoms with her beloved family, she would not hurt a fly, she would not lie to us, she would not let Elon Musk pet her

absofuckinlutely not

You’re just continuing a long line of retail tradition babey

It’s Jeff: Infinity Comic #9 (2021)

So I just wanted to inform people that if you go to the temple to Apollo at Delphi where the oracle at Delphi was situated there are cats, like everywhere and they are so placid I spent most of my time there with a kitten in my arms, Greece is honestly a great place for cats and if anybody is going the or near there and likes cats you should really go, not only is it a beautiful historical place it’s also full of cute fluffy balls of fun

#oh this place is HAUNTED haunted

NOW it’s serious

World Heritage Post

she weaponized her gag gift im crying

even with those four numbers there are countless possible combinations good luck with figuring out which one is the right one you punk

*straightens calculator*

It’s pretty likely that it’s a four digit number, and as there are four digits chosen there, that means that there cannot be any repetition. This mean that there are:

n!/(n-4)! possible orders. As ‘n’ is 4 (number of digits available). 4!/0! which becomes 4x3x2x1/1 which simplifies to 24. That means that there are 24 possible combinations of codes. This would take you about two or three minutes to input all possible codes.

Unless an alarm goes off if you don’t get it right in 3 tries

*straightens calculator again*

Kick the fucking door in

well ‘technically’ the code is most likley 1970. statistically, a majority of people, when told to choose a 4 digit code will choose their birth year. and this key pad is obviously a few years old to put it nicely, thats most likley it. 

some sherlock holmes shit just went down over here

No, no, no. Don’t base your deductions of psychology. Let’s talk chemistry. When you first press a button, there’s more of the natural oils on your skin, and therefore it wears down the numbers on the keys faster. Obviously 0 is the first one, then. Try 0791 first.

Sherlock out.

woah.

it got better

and this is why the sherlock fandom could either rule the world or end it….

Close, but not quite, I think. People will almost always choose a number they can remember. What’s memorable about 0791? Try 0719 - a birthday, 19th of July. That is more likely.

Those deductions are great and all, but unnecessary.

The light is green.

The door is already open.

And that’s why we have a John Watson.

This is “top 10 favorite posts” level.

Omg, it’s actually on my dash! This post is like a fossil!

Idk if I’ve rebloged this before, but I’ll reblog this legend again

Smithsonian? I’ve found the quintessential Tumblr and Sherlock fandom post. Yes. I would consider it definitive.

Ahh it’s back.

Legend of a post. 10/10 recommend reblogging.

this post is on my dash I feel HONORED

THE POST OF LEGENDS HAS RESURFACED ON MY DASH

I’VE ONLY EVER SEEN THIS IN SCREENSHOTS OMG

On your dash? I dig for gold like this,,, by looking at my mutual pages.

I’ve only seen this on Pinterest!

*gasp* THE SACRED TEXTS!

:O

THIS IS A LEGENDARY POST I HAVE BEEN GRACED BY IT’S APPEARANCE!!!

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

yesssss

Why did Tumblr stop doing stuff like this, it’s genuinely fascinating, and cute that we include our favorite media in things we do

Well. Since you asked. I was on tumblr as this post was being built in 2013. The height of superwholock. Which has, since then, been declared peak cringe. So people picked new fandoms to openly love in earnest. Which were also eventually declared cringe. Eventually the youth decided to cut out the middleman, and declared loving anything in earnest to be fully cringe. So it has been a really long time since the day to day users of tumblr have let any fandom create anything nearing the cultural phenomenon that was superwholock. And it is exactly those cultural phenomena that are needed to create posts like this.

So. What happened? Cringe culture happened.

Try and imagine what would happen if this post wasn’t the “sacred texts” only ever seen in screen shots and in pinterest. Try and imagine any current pop culture detective media fandom creating this post today. They’d be slaughtered for being cringe by the time (in this case) Sherlock was mentined.

But because this post is 10 years old and completely broke containment, it’s celebrated when it graces our dashes.

I blazed a small fandom event announcement.  Because I was genuinely excited to be part of a Big Bang for a wonderful movie.  One of the first responses I got was “Why would you blaze this?” Because of genuine excitement. Because I wanted to celebrate the friends I’d met in the fandom To spread joy to people who might also like the content but hadn’t seen it yet.   The fact that that was genuinely not realized made me sad.  I love thing, I celebrate thing.   I’m too old for cringe.  Cringe is dead.  Love what you love.  Enjoy the small things in life, it’s too short to do otherwise.

CRINGE CULTURE DIED AND WE KILLED IT.

CRINGE CULTURE DIED AND

WE KILLED IT.SPREAD THE LOVE FOR

YOUR FAVORITE SHOWS

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

U go funky little haiku bot

child handling for the childless nurse

My current job has me working with children, which is kind of a weird shock after years in environments where a “young” patient is 40 years old.  Here’s my impressions so far:

Birth - 1 year: Essentially a small cute animal.  Handle accordingly; gently and affectionately, but relying heavily on the caregivers and with no real expectation of cooperation.

Age 1 - 2: Hates you.  Hates you so much.  You can smile, you can coo, you can attempt to soothe; they hate you anyway, because you’re a stranger and you’re scary and you’re touching them.  There’s no winning this so just get it over with as quickly and non-traumatically as possible.

Age 3 - 5: Nervous around medical things, but possible to soothe.  Easily upset, but also easily distracted from the thing that upset them.  Smartphone cartoons and “who wants a sticker?!!?!?” are key management techniques.

Age 6 - 10: Really cool, actually.  I did not realize kids were this cool.  Around this age they tend to be fairly outgoing, and super curious and eager to learn.  Absolutely do not babytalk; instead, flatter them with how grown-up they are, teach them some Fun Gross Medical Facts, and introduce potentially frightening experiences with “hey, you want to see something really cool?”

Age 11 - 14: Extremely variable.  Can be very childish or very mature, or rapidly switch from one mode to the other.  At this point you can almost treat them as an adult, just… a really sensitive and unpredictable adult.  Do not, under any circumstances, offer stickers.  (But they might grab one out of the bin anyway.)

Age 15 - 18: Basically an adult with severely limited life experience.  Treat as an adult who needs a little extra education with their care.  Keep parents out of the room as much as possible, unless the kid wants them there.  At this point you can go ahead and offer stickers again, because they’ll probably think it’s funny.  And they’ll want one.  Deep down, everyone wants a sticker.

This is also a pretty excellent guide to writing  kids of various ages