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go my isopods!!

Poorly drawn Trubbish line

no one:

me the second I feel a cool breeze -

My boyfriend has really vivid, elaborate dreams. He’ll often wake up and talk about some grand narrative- travel, exploration, politics, performances. I’ve always been a little jealous, he can hold really good plots together for them sometimes.

But anyway, this does have a downside; vivid, elaborate dreams make for vivid, elaborate nightmares. I can usually tell when it’s one of those nights, since he grinds his teeth pretty badly.

I was never quite sure what to do when I knew he was having a bad time of it, though the grinding alone was enough to worry me and push me towards intervening. I used to just shake him gently, hope to rouse him just enough to reset the dream or something, but it wasn’t too effective and anyway waking him up all the time isn’t good for rest.

I’m rather proud of the strategy I eventually settled on: gently, so as not to wake him up, I’d lay one arm across his hands, wrapping his fingers around me so that he was holding on. Nightmares being nightmares, I can usually count on a pretty tight grip when this happens.

It may seem a little odd, but consider that holding on to something with both hands is typically a very agentic frame of mind. We hold on to things that give us power, in one way or another, and possessing objects often makes us feel powerful in some respects. That has consequences, even for a dreaming mind.

I knew it was working when he woke up rather mystified from one such dream, and told me that he’d been running through the caverns of some dungeon or cave system, pursued by monsters, but then all of a sudden he was holding a giant anime sword and fought them off instead. So I got to be a sword for him that night, I was delighted.

I don’t usually get to know exactly what happened, since even for a very vivid dreamer like Ritter, nine tenths of these things get forgotten. But I know I’ve been things like door handles, steering wheels, stuff like that. And even when I don’t know what I am to him, he doesn’t grind his teeth nearly as much- the sleep is deeper and more peaceful, so I get plenty of feedback that it’s working.

It’s such a perfect encapsulation of love in microcosm, isn’t it? No matter how much you mean to them, and how much they mean to you, the gap between two conscious lives is fundamentally separating you. But fundamental does not mean insurmountable. There’s this whole world in him, full of dreams and perspectives that I’ll never truly experience. But I will be a part of those worlds all the same, finding little ways here and there to make sure that the dreams of me make him a better, stronger, and happier person.

Or at least, so one hopes. It’s a difficult challenge, and things often go awry. But usually you get at least a little lucky.

In honor of 10,000 notes on this post, a brief update: It's "husband" now.

A hand-painted tour through Hobbiton:

A tour through the Shire! <33 Find the full comic these are from at this link.

(Sometimes people ask why my little Hobbit comic takes so long to update, and whether I’m dead, etc etc etc. and the answer is: it takes a long time to say anything in old entish, and we never draw anything unless it is worth taking a very long time to draw.  The world of Middle Earth is very important to me, and I love how rich and detailed it is— so I love spending a lot of time painting these backgrounds, and trying to capture the feeling of that world. In an age where people are replacing artists with machines, I still really do believe that there are people who care about seeing art that’s made with care.) 

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

Me and the boys misunderstood the arcane nature of the stone and now the Toyota is king of England

recently came across some plates and bowls that would be perfect for a children's hospital

ONE

SINGLE

JOKE

Once I was three margaritas deep to the wind at a beach club in Cozumel on my “day off” (in quotes because I’m always lookin n lurkin), and I saw a Pygmy raccoon grabbing an enchilada or something from an unsecured garbage bin and I was so upset. SO upset. And I’m just sitting there in my beach chair next to him (I deliberately choose to sit near the garbage) like “Hello? Sir? Do you know you’re endangered? Dont eat that!” And there were some other tourists who were now looking at me funny and I was MORTIFIED. So embarrassed. Because, and I quote, “I’m an idiot. He doesn’t speak English.” And then turned back to the raccoon and desperately went “Señor Mapache! Sabe que está en peligro de extinción? No coma!” In my very southern accent a la Peggy Hill.

Anyway, here is a picture of him I drew.

Pygmy Raccoon (Procyon pygmaeus)

true 2000′s nonsense was finding an amv with a cool song and revisiting the amv for the song instead of actually looking it up

it just sounds better on the amv idk what to tell you

smea cmreaturem

he's streaming; tip?

@luminant-lepidoptera ask and you shall receive

do you ever hang out with someone else’s family and you’re like ooooh. so this is what it’s supposed to be like

when a friend rescued me from being homeless, I stayed with her and her parents for a few months until I could find a job and a place of my own.

and holy shit was that a revelation. i had no idea family could be healthy like that.

Had a full on anxiety attack the first time I saw a roughhousing kid get a hug instead of whatever I was afraid of. It’s wild shit

Well I would give a medieval peasant some spaghetti.

1. They don’t have forks. I would hand them a fork with it and see what they do.

2. They don’t have tomatoes. This is something they can never experience again

3. I would let them keep the plate because it’s a nice plate and I think they’d like it

i love it when a post comes with its own FAQs

what the fuck do you mean they didn't have tomatoes

Tomatoes are not native to Afroeurasia and generally wouldn’t have been available on that continent before the Colombian exchange. When we refer to medieval peasants we’re usually referring to the poor of Europe and west Asia between the fall of the Roman Empire and the beginning of what we now call the Renaissance and Enlightenment periods. A time before the so-called age of exploration and colonization brought food such as tomatoes, maize, and potatoes to Afroeurasia and domesticated animals such as pigs and chickens to the Americas. European cuisine of the poor and rich alike before the Colombian exchange would still have been tasty with their wide selection of game meat, herbs, vegetables, and grains, but tomatoes would not have been available to them and that’s why I want to give a medieval peasant a plate of Italian-American style spaghetti with marinara sauce just like dad used to make

wait so. italy? i guess it’s not called afroeurasitaly, but…so “italian” food used to not have tomatoes? until they came from the americas? and they they what, decided “hey let’s just rebuild our national identity around these tasty christmas tree ornaments”? centuries of italy were lasagna-free and i’m just supposed to accept this

They had lasagna. It just didn’t look like what we think of lasagna today. It was more like layers of flat noodles with spices and cheese on a plate that you ate with your hands rather than a baked dish.

If you look at ancient Roman food there’s certain things we’d recognize as “Italian” like olive oil or fermented fish sauce or cheese but the flavor profile is completely different and pasta isn’t anywhere to be found. They also had herbs and spices that have since become unpopular or even gone extinct.

A lot of things we view as unmovable and unchanging about certain culture’s cuisines are incredibly recent developments. Modern Indian cuisine for example can be traced back to a singular guy in the 16th century. And these days lard is considered to be integral to making tamales but that wasn’t used until the Spanish brought over pigs and cows.

Food culture is something that can change very rapidly. Sometimes within a single generation. People generally use what they have available and what’s available can change at a moment’s notice.

This feels like watching a clown get questioned by the crowd before they pull out a history textbook and proceed to whack the audience repeatedly with it

That sums up pretty well what it’s like to be me yeah

CAN I INTEREST ANYONE IN A CRUCIAL ROUND 2 UPDATE OF BABY TRASH PANDA CHAOS

So apparently Tumblr ate my original post about this but:

A couple weeks ago I’m going to get lunch and as I open the fridge, my mother attempts to communicate to me that any chicken currently in the fridge is ok for people to eat, because the chicken that was intended for the dog to eat has been used up.

What she actually says is, “That’s human chicken.”

After taking a minute to process all horrible implications of the phrase “human chicken”, I decide to go a different route and hold the tupperware of chicken out to my sister, saying, “Behold, a man!”

This was evidently the wrong choice, as it meant I had to explain to my parents who Diogenes was, thereby cementing the incident in their minds and leading to me, just now, opening the fridge to see the following incredibly cursed image:

This is the funniest post I have ever read on Tumblr for so many…many reasons.

[ID: A Tupperware container of shredded chicken labeled “human”. End ID]

@arewebeholdingaman

yeah sure why not

Neorice's Ocean

Neoriceisgood's River and Lake fish.

My collection of river and lake friends! Have I done your fav?

I don't know how to explain it, but this FEELS illegal. He's literally painting with fucking play-doh!

Bob Rossing it with polymer clay and a trans flag in the background.

Bob Rossing it with

polymer clay and a trans

flag in the background.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

"save me, substance abuse!" i cry. before you can moralize to me about the dangers of addiction, a noble and powerful steed gallops into the room - my horse whom i have named "substance abuse". you learn an important lesson about making assumptions. i snort a line off its back

this reminds me of me and my friend’s horse named Drugs

when i was in middle school me and my friends had a small yellow horse eraser we fondly named “drugs”. this lead to a lot of middle school tomfoolery around his name and saying shit like “Ma’am, so and so took drugs from me” and other dumb shit like that.

eventually, our english teacher, Mr. R, caught onto the joke. instead of writing us up or sending us to the principal though, he played along, making similar jokes like “(name), stop taking drugs.” “hey. you three. you need to share drugs if he’s going to be at the table.” “no drugs today, guys?” so on and so forth.

by the end of the school year it had become a very fond joke between us and this english teacher, so we decided since we were moving onto our freshman year, we decided to give our eng teacher this little yellow horse eraser.

so we go find our english teacher, Mr. R, who was setting up cornhole with our principal and other “big important people” for our 8th grade graduation party, and we hand him the little eraser.

to which he yells as loudly (and happily) as he can: “YOURE GIVING ME DRUGS?!!”

i actually went back to visit him before i left for college, and to this day he still has Drugs on his desk, and regularly tells his new students about me and my friends. ty op for reminding me about Drugs the Horse

CHARACTERS ADDED!

I was looking for velcro patches on Amazon (unfortunately) and these 3 suggestions together was amusing to me

How unlike Amazon to suggest direct action