Avatar

jeepers! a catboy

@soulbornincoldandrain

he / they / she • biromantic pebble heart origami dinosaur • talk to me in hindi sometimes

HOW ARE YOU DOING . girl hes yelling girl hes lost already baby its all so beyond him! i dont know what the words are to this elaborate script of yours thats so important to you youre important to me and i want to know your words cues line for line for page for chapter for lifetime what is the point of me if i cant. DO IT RIGHT god do you know . god how messy this script is nonaligns in margins ballpoint scratches up and down my arm youre tripping over the lines in your own play were both stagehands playwrights actorlegs bent at funny angles trying to keep this play going for ourselves and could you love a friend? i love every friend. i know and see the way you hold her but where does script end nondescript begin sentient hands you talk like your heart is spilling with your own words but your hand gestures like the actor before you You are sewing the context into these seams. fuck. WHERE DO I GO. hey come back. hey. please i promise. i'll get it right this time god i swear. i will chase you down but i don't know if you want to be. chased down by half a hand of love. does me holding on so hard leave gouges in your skin. i didn't want to hurt you. god where have you gone. will you stay will you stay. this is the most mundane ache and panicked bleeding. scraped my knees on your childhood playground gardens. pushed the swing too hard and it snapped midarc. don't catch me let me fall don't catch me let me fall

I think disabled people deserve high income for free forever with no strings attached and I’m not kidding

disabled people deserve basics. but we also deserve to go on vacation. we deserve splurging on a $50 video game every once in a while. we deserve nice meals and nice clothes and nice things. we deserve a nice candle. and fancy soap.

disabled ppl deserve to be comforted by human impulses like the rest of y’all

lol remember when people were getting pissy about my idea of ‘nice things’ and ‘disposable income’ because it was just describing their everyday life and that’s not glamorous

meanwhile I wrote this post living on my best friends couch living out of a suitcase lol

I’m so emotional about dinosaur stuffed animals,,, there are these creatures, extinct long before any of us were alive, but we found their bones and their eggs and their footprints. And we made drawings and models of what they could’ve looked like. And we made them into stuffed animals so we could hold them. We made them soft so we could love them. I’m sobbing

okay okay maybe i am just a dog like fine! throws his hands up in the air! maybe i do have teeth and the rabid urge to put my teeth in things to find love, maybe i need to dig and run and tie myself to a pole to a love unloved? fuck maybe i do have teeth in my ribs like what then. what if i do have hands that cant open jars and gentle steps that leave prints in the mud, and scratch with vigor and unrefined grace like a diamond rolled in the dirt well will you! will you love me then?! could you love me as a dog, will i would be a dog's love oh my fucking gooddd ughhh

i sneak off sometimes to experience Myself as Emotions in the corner . nobody needs to see that ... i can endure the disgrace of my flesh as intrusion, i can touch my bones under skin as something wild curled unto me this is my secret ... you may not behold ... look away ...