imagine you're a garden dryad, and every year you grow a new kind of crop inside of yourself. some years the fruit that grows inside of you is the kind that takes the entire season to ripen, a heavy squash or melon that starts as a tiny, firm bump in your belly and swells into a huge, heavy oblong that swells your abdomen into a smooth, round dome, resting low in your hips and making you waddle when you walk. and some years it's small but plentiful: cherries that slide against each other's smooth skins inside of you; grapes that grow in irregular bunches, pushing your belly into asymmetrical bulges; small thin-skinned plums that mean no matter how carefully you carry yourself, some always split inside of you, leaving your belly sloshy and full of sticky juice that helps cushion the rest. peaches whose rough-furred skin drags against your insides; cucumbers that are easy to birth, but which make it impossible to find a position where you aren't constantly aware of their blunt ends pressing against your womb; thick-skinned citrus, big round pomelos and grapefruits whose rinds rub against you deliciously on the way out; and of course, at the very end of the season, apples: heavy, smooth-skinned, and the perfect way to wrap up the year—with your belly full and swollen with ripe, firm fruit, ready for the harvest
Not sure where I ran across this, but I can confirm that this is very easy to make and it’s delicious. I don’t have the right size pyrex bowls, I just do it all in one 2qt baking dish and it comes out fine. I also have a 9x13 inch dish that I intend to try, but haven’t yet.
i made this bread today and it turned out absolutely perfect. it’s easy, the texture’s amazing, the taste is great. absolutely go make this bread.
Hot damn this looks great.
someone recommend me some good fantasy books that aren’t centred on a war, please, my crops are dying
The Greta Helsing novels by Vivian Shaw - practical doctor to the undead defeats mildly ominous interdimensional threats with the aid of domestic vampires and a demon accountant.
Sunshine by Robin McKinley - practical baker is captured by vampires, escapes, reluctantly teams up with better vampire to kill the bad one.
Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones - young hat maker ages 60 years overnight, proceeds to upend the life of a disaster wizard while learning self-confidence.
the Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett - hard to encapsulate, but equally funny and hard-hitting, tackling race and gender and corruption and other forms of inequality while also, like, making fun of post offices and Hollywood and Shakespeare. Three or four tackle war, true, but there’s something like 35 others to choose from.
the Accidental Turn series by J.M. Frey - recent Ph.D of colour lands in the Fantasyland™ she did her thesis on, goes off about agency and diversity while recovering from the Dark Lord’s attentions and learning the truth about her fictional crush.
Middlegame by Seanan McGuire - evil alchemist creates superpowered children to assist world takeover; children just want to be a family; family is complicated.
Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik - young woman takes over family business, must outwit fairies with a love of gold.
the Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia C. Wrede - princess runs away to become a dragon’s housekeeper, fights off rescuers, solves problems large and small, melts wizards.
the October Daye novels by Seanan Mcguire - Half-fae detective solves murders, finds missing persons, develops found family, can’t stop self from upending the social order.
The Golem and the Djinni by Helene Wecker - A quiet golem, a tempestuous djinn, Gilded Age New York. Immigrants, identity, friendship, hope, and self-discovery.
An Unkindness of Magicians by Kat Howard - A witch from an outsider House enters New York’s magical Hunger Games, to prove a point. The problems of magic were not intended.
Zoo City by Lauren Beukes - Part-time con artist gets hired to find two missing pop stars, with the help of the magical sloth on her back. Noir ensues.
Child of a Hidden Sea by A.M. Dellamonica - Nature photographer lands on water-world, discovers lost family, tries to convince self magic is impossible.
Gods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips - Greek gods, washed up in North London, curse Apollo to fall for the cleaner. Existential crisis, meet rom-com.
Among Others by Jo Walton - Loner teen sent to boarding school, discovers science fiction, might know fairies and do magic.
Tooth and Claw by Jo Walton - Austenesque story except all the characters are dragons.
Every Heart a Doorway (and sequels) by Seanan McGuire - the children of portal fantasy end up in boarding school coping with being kicked out of their various worlds, then some of them start getting murdered.
The Gracekeepers by Kirsty Logan - the world is flooded, there’s a lady who works with a bear at a circus that sails to different places to perform, and a lady who is sort of an undertaker, and they fall in love
Lud-in-the-Mist by Hope Mirrlees - there are fairies but no one talks about them anymore because That’s Just Not How We Are except this state of affairs cannot possibly last and people start getting lured to fairyland
The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison - fifth son of emperor who’s lived his whole life away from court abruptly becomes emperor when his father and older brothers are killed in an accident, spends entire book trying to make friends and figure how the fuck to do a) confidence and b) ruling ethically
The Various by Steven Augarde - girl spends summer at uncle’s farm, finds the group of “various” (no direct parallel, but think somewhere between gnomes and pixies) that live in the woods, mysterious history, flying horse, The Cat Is Evil (this is technically middle grade but it’s so good I can’t even)
Turning Darkness Into Light by Marie Brennan - working on the translation of an ancient text is complicated when it might have a huge impact on the public perception of a highly stigmatised group; subterfuge, found family, mythology, and the rejection of men who steal other people’s work.
The Sharing Knife series by Lois McMaster Bujold - Fighting monsters and bandits, yes, but also fighting prejudice, intercultural communications breakdowns, in-laws, outdated traditions, and chores
Under the Pendulum Sun by Jeanette Ng - a gently reared young lady goes to fairyland to find her missionary brother, instead finds a crazy gothic mansion full of mysteries
Daughter of the Forest, by Juliet Marillier - lush high fantasy retelling of the Seven Swans
Seraphina, by Rachel Hartman - murder, intrigue, and music in a world where humans maintain an uneasy peace with shapeshifting dragons
Sorcerer to the Crown, by Zen Cho - brilliant but marginalized sorcerer and brilliant but marginalized social climber take on Regency England
Six of Crows, by Leigh Bardugo - Fantasy heist starring ragtag band of teenaged delinquents armed with magic and trauma
Vessel, by Sarah Beth Durst - a girl raised to be a vessel for a goddess tries to figure out why her goddess failed to show and also save the world
Stardust, by Neil Gaiman - Guy goes to fairyland to catch a star to impress his True Love, what could possibly go wrong
The Thief, by Megan Whalen Turner - Marvelous swashbuckling middle grade quest story and first in a series of complex and political and twisty books, beware of spoilers
Penric’s Progress, by Lois McMaster Bujold - A collection of the first three Penric and Desdemona novellas, which follow a mild-mannered accidental sorcerer and his centuries-old snarky demon as they go on quests, solve mysteries, dabble in intrigues, and generally sow chaos wherever they go
The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien - There is one major battle and the POV character misses ALL of it because Jirt thinks war is stupid
A Face Like Glass, by Frances Hardinge - amazingly lush and imaginative underground world and the girl who fell down into it, was raised by cheeses, and is about to cause a whole lot of trouble
Deeplight, by Frances Hardinge - the terrifying Lovecraftian ocean gods are dead but their secrets live on
(look I’m just trying to avoid the temptation to link to all of Frances Hardinge but maybe check out all of Frances Hardinge)
Sorcery of Thorns, by Margaret Rogerson - Sword wielding librarian fights demons and the patriarchy
The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, by N.K. Jemisin - An unlikely heir competes for the most powerful job in a world where captured gods are weapons
The Squire’s Tales by Gerald Morris - Laugh-out-loud funny and also magical and source-material-level weird MG series on Arthurian romance, some battles but mostly quests and complaining about how stupid knights can be, shading darker towards the end of the series for obvious reasons
Starless, by Jacqueline Carey - kind of war but more of a coming of age and quest book with a big battle at the end? A child fated from birth to be companion to a princess is trained by warrior monks and dropped headfirst into a scheming court of near-immortal royals
The Earthsea Cycle, by Ursula K LeGuin - the education of a wizard in primal magic and ancient secrets
A note: I tried to stick with high fantasy or close to it, as that’s generally what people are looking for when they get stuck in War Is Hell for two thousand pages
A further note: I adore so many of the books on @anassarhenisch and @hermitknut‘s lists and will definitely have to check out the others, thanks y’all!
your bare minimum isn’t actually that bare or minimum. my dad once told me that there’s nothing in this world that’s easy and that’s true tbh. everything we do takes energy, time, and effort. even the little things. if you feel like you’re not doing enough please try to think about your circumstances and what’s currently available to you: chances are, there’s something that’s diverting or otherwise draining you. and to pull away from that and get something done regardless? well, i think that’s really admirable! please try to take pride in the things you do accomplish in a day, no matter how small or trifling you perceive them to be. you can’t be proud of your growth if you don’t notice where you already are!
no offense but this conversation was literally a major turning point in my life
In 1912 Alfred Wegener proposed a controversial theory about how the Earth’s land masses formed. He said the great continents had once formed a single landmass, which had broken up over time. The idea went against all conventional ideas, and was roundly dismissed.
It took the work of young cartographer Marie Tharp to prove him right.
In 1947, she worked on a team that were running expeditions around the world, mapping the ocean floors with echolocation. However, Marie wasn’t allowed on the missions because women were seen as ‘bad luck’…
But the work she did back at the university was invaluable. Converting endless data into detailed profiles, she realised that the ocean floor isn’t a flat, featureless plane, but a complex, varied landscape.
Most importantly, she spotted a long, V-shaped valley in each of her profiles: a rift valley that supported Wegener’s theory, formed by two land masses moving apart, splitting the ocean floor in two.
But even with this evidence, Tharp’s ideas were dismissed as ‘girl talk’.
She then realised that her profiles tied in with worldwide earthquake maps being developed by a colleague.
The mounting evidence started to convince some sceptics, but not all. Renowned explorer Jacques Cousteau was so unconvinced that he sent an expedition to film the ocean floor and clear things up once and for all. What did his footage show? Exactly what Tharp had predicted.
Tharp’s steadfast determination had paved the way for Wegener’s continental drift theory to gain traction. As the tide of opposition waned, it gave birth to our modern understanding of plate tectonics and secured Tharp’s position as one of the most outstanding cartographers of the 20th century.
Once again I am filled with awe for a brilliant woman and disgust that I’ve never heard her name before today.
not to be dramatic but we desperately need a punk movement to come in and wash away this Instagram model airbrushed picture perfect trend. it’s so damaging……teens, young adults, kids, the Grown….all of us need to just. we need to be sweaty again. we deserve it smeared eyeliner…..idk just. it’s okay if ur hair is greasy please just relax & then get mad about stuff that’s important to you.
okay not to sound like I’m preaching about the meaning of Emo to my mom in 2008 but the thing is, especially when you’re young, things are all messy and sort of falling apart, and you’re confused and angry and sad and that’s alright,
but there used to be this idea among my friends and peers that it was okay to LOOK the way you felt. falling apart? cool, brag about how your eyeliner is on day three and you’re in the same hoodie you always wear. no, it’s not the same as getting help, but at least you’re VENTING.
now, there’s so much pressure to hide it. to bottle it all up. Instagram isn’t the root cause, but it really is a shrine to our current mainstream push to make our lives look perfect to the onlooker. It’s not healthy!!!!
We just need to be allowed to look like shit when we feel like shit again!!!!!
Look like shit 2020!!!!!!!!!!
I just feel that even though we’ve made leaps and bounds in the realm of mental health discussion and such it’s all so SANITIZED now. sure, you can mention your issues, but don’t display any of the ugliness of it. You have to look acceptable. the model of recovery. I’m rejecting it!!!
in 2020 we’re going to embrace ugliness and be vocal about our greatest challenges!!!!!!!
“I remembered once, in Japan, having been to see the Gold Pavilion Temple in Kyoto and being mildly surprised at quite how well it had weathered the passage of time since it was first built in the fourteenth century. I was told it hadn’t weathered well at all, and had in fact been burnt to the ground twice in this century. “So it isn’t the original building?” I had asked my Japanese guide. “But yes, of course it is,” he insisted, rather surprised at my question. “But it’s been burnt down?” “Yes.” “Twice?” “Many times.” “And rebuilt.” “Of course. It is an important and historic building.” “With completely new materials.” “But of course. It was burnt down.” “So how can it be the same building?” “It is always the same building.” I had to admit to myself that this was in fact a perfectly rational point of view, it merely started from an unexpected premise. The idea of the building, the intention of it, its design, are all immutable and are the essence of the building. The intention of the original builders is what survived. The wood of which the design is constructed decays and is replaced when necessary. To be overly concerned with the original materials, which are merely sentimental souvenirs of the past, is to fail to see the living building itself.”
— Douglas Adams (via valarhalla)
“theseus is a bitch” - douglas adams
fuck..
What..the..fuck, Google???
I’m surprised that this post doesn’t contain a link to turn off all of these settings (maybe another version of this post does, who knows)
Go to https://myaccount.google.com/activitycontrols and this will take you to a page which states what information Google is currently tracking. Each section has a blue slider next to it. Click it and it will come up with a confirmation box, scroll through it and select “pause” and you should be good to go.
Catastrophize Benedictine
Time Blindness Tortellini
executive dysfunction dunkers
Hyperventilating Hotdog.
anxiety danish
Sensory Overload Chicken
Hyperfixation Chocolate Truffle!
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria Jambalaya
Sloth Cheeto sounds more like a grunge band than a racehorse but I’ll take it
Inappropriate Social Interaction Split Pea Soup
Out of all of the actors and cast on Star Wars, Disney had to single out the black actor to take the blame for losing the script and it wasn’t even a true story and something that Disney made up. Between the Star Wars fandom constantly attacking and demonizing him. And Disney sidelining and demeaning him. Can anyone really blame John if he didn’t want to come back and do Star Wars again.
I was helping a friend out earlier but then realized I could also share a few small tips on how to shop for groceries on a budget with u guys too!
This is a way to listen to changes to wikipedia. You are literally listening to knowledge being added to the world.
Pluck sounds are an addition, strings are subtractions, and the pitch says how how big the edit is. My heart shudders at this I love it so much.
This is so relaxing.
I COULD LISTEN TO THIS FOR HOURS THANKS
Yall fallin asleep to asmr? Im falling asleep to the
This is so important! I never know what to ask and end up looking like a fool cause I don’t have a question prepared. Don’t be me.
The weird thing about this post is that it ALWAYS shows up when I have an interview
i am a manager and this is exactly what I look for.
I have used almost all of these lines, with great success.
people seem to have trouble understanding why i’m an anti-capitalist, so i’m going to try and put it into simple, real-life terms.
i work at a restaurant. i make $12 an hour, plus tips. minimum wage where i live is relatively high for my country - the national minimum wage is $7.25/hr, and has not been raised since 2009. before taxes, working full time, my yearly income is about $22,000 a year. ($25,000 if you count tips)
at my job, we sell various dishes, with an average price of about $10-$15. we get printouts every week detailing how much money we made that week; in one week, our restaurant makes about $30,000. (one of our other locations actually makes this much on a daily basis!)
i’m not going to go into details, but after the costs of production (payroll for employees, rent for the building, maintenance, and wholesale food purchasing) are accounted for, the restaurant makes an estimated profit of $20,000 per week.
this profit goes directly to the owner, who does not work at this location. the owner of my restaurant has actually been on vacation for a few months, but still profits from the restaurant, because they own it. i have met the owner exactly twice in my year of working here.
to put this into perspective, the owner of this restaurant earns in 2 days what they pay me in one year. and that’s just from this single location - the owner has several other restaurants, all of which make more money than the one i work at. this ends up resulting in the owner having an estimated net worth of tens of millions of dollars, even after accounting for the payroll for every single worker in their employ.
now, i have to ask you: does the owner of my restaurant deserve this income? did they earn it? did their labor result in this value being created?
the naive answer would be “yes”; the owner purchased the location and arranged for the raw ingredients to be delivered, did they not?
the actual answer is “no”. the owner may have used their initial capital to start the location, but the profit is a result of my labor, and the labor of my co-workers.
the owner purchases rice at a very low bulk price of about 25 cents a pound. i cook the rice, and within a few minutes, that pound of rice is suddenly worth about $30. the owner did not create this value, i did. the owner simply provided the initial capital investment required to start the process.
what needs to be understood here is that capitalists do not create value. they use the labor of their employees to create value, and then take the excess profit and keep it.
what needs to be understood is that capitalists accrue income by already HAVING money. the owner of my restaurant was only able to get this far because they started off, from the very beginning, with enough money to purchase a building, purchase food in bulk, and hire hundreds of employees.
that is to say: the rich get richer, and they do so by exploiting the labor of the poor.
the owner of my restaurant could afford to triple the income of every single person in their employee if they felt like it, but this would mean that they were generating less profit for themselves, so they do not.
the owner of my restaurant pays me the current minimum wage of my area, because to them, i am not a person. i am an investment. i am an asset. i am a means to create more money.
when you are paid minimum wage, the message your boss is sending you is this: “legally, if i could pay you less, i would.”
every capitalist on the planet exploits their workers for their own gain. every capitalist, even the small business owners, forces people to stay in poverty so that the capitalist can profit.
This is a really good post
Quick n Dirty comic about orcs
I have found my people!
I’ve been watching Good Omens for ’ll of about ten minutes and I have to say, I do like the poetry between hell’s most angelic demon and heaven’s most demonic angel coexisting
Through watching the rest of the show I went from “worst demon and worst angel- a demon that is too kind and an angel that is too hedonistic”, to “best demon and best angel- a demon so rebellious he can’t even cooperate with the rebellion and an angel so angelic he was ordered to love humanity and now refuses to stop”, and having finished, now, I’ve found myself resting on “two beings who are in fact very very human and love each other very much”
the greatest skill a woman can learn for herself is self reliance
to clarify … so many strong women in my life rely on men. that dependence is dangerous. ladies here are some good ref resources I’ve found helpful on my journey towards self reliance
automobile
plumbing
electrical
home
this list is in no way comprehensive feel free to add on
Fics I Love
Steter | 29k | Teen
The zombie apocalypse forces Stiles to learn how to cook.
11/27/15: Added a short bonus ficlet from Peter’s POV.
adhd is like every few days you get a strong sudden impulse to do one particular thing and you make elaborate plans for it but after three hours you havent done it so instead you all at once lose any interest and begin to experience soul crushing depression for the next few days during which you lose the ability to do ANYTHING let alone take care of yourself and whenever you think about your three-hour hyperfixation you feel horrendous stomach churning guilt