A mess but do not worry i mean it in a bad way

If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:

Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say "yes", the second will say "no."

If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.

But what if people question you from there? "Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?" For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: "I don't have a card for that."

"What the fuck," they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: "I have laryngitis. I've lost speech. My throat hurts". Whatever you expect to occur.

The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. YThey wonder about logistics. "How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?"

As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.

"I have powerful wizard magics."

Gets them every time

On it boss!!

[id: a set of 5 UNO cards upon which has been written, "Yes", "no", "I don't have a card for that", "can't talk right now 😢", and "I have powerful wizard magics 🙂". End id]

the gimmick blogs are like tumblr’s rogue gallery. yes we’ve got some heroes, yes we’ve got some villains, but more importantly if you look over here you will see some freak who devotes all their time to counting the number of “t’s” in a post

T Count: 15

Letter Count: 198

Your T Percentage: 7.58%

Average T Percentage: 6.95%

You used the letter T 1.09 times as much as average!

YOU EXIST???

Sometimes you create a guy and it turns out they already exist

Sometimes you create

a guy and it turns out they

already exist

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Same energy

Imagine being the only person alive who can say this

buzz aldrin and neil armstrong liked to do a thing where they’d tell unfunny jokes at parties about being on the moon and when people were confused they’d go “guess you had to have been there”

But what if it was all a dream

This is more unsettling. I know it's there. I know it should be there. I know this pristine landscape is hiding its horrors like teeth.

yea I'm not gonna lie I don't like this.

Cats painting studies by Paul Rabaud

the MOST iconic 20 seconds of any anime dub i’ve ever experienced

I thought this was going to be deep, but then

i spent an insane amount of time trying to make that gif on my phone lmao please validate me 🥲

OK! OK!

recreation of what i saw when my wife was high and really wanted me to deliver her a single oreo

Bro why did you just become a red dot on the minimap are we cool

I did rainbow art for Pride. I think I went too saturated with the kitten but you live and learn.

Tiny unit

I ate them 

i’ve been having terrible back ache for a week now, but i just did this and i heard a loud POP!!!… back ache is gone folks

i have this on my office wall and gave a copy to the front desk staff who also put it on their wall.

Did I meme right?