anaknowsboost-deactivated201707
The characters in Civil War basically ...
Steve
Tony
Bucky
Natasha
Sam
Vision
Wanda
Rhodey
Clint
T'challa
Scott
Peter
Zemo
This is just so perfect I can’t… even… I’m in awe, and also dying of laughter.
Chemistry: What nonliving shits made of
Biology: How living shit works
Physics: How shit moves
Geology: Shit is a rock
Archeology: Old shit
reblog to join the
i like reading books but i never have time to read books
club
Exactly
My man Jesus
goddessolga
What story is that?
ffermented-salmonella
Matthew 18:9
“And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.”
beachfox
“Jesus, how can I avoid sin when all these hussies keep revealing the fact that they have bodies?!”
“Hmmm, tough call bro. Have you tried gouging out your eyes so you don’t have to see all those bodies anymore?”
“wut”
“What?”
“Shouldn’t you tell them to… stop dressing like that or something?”
“Don’t see why. It’s not their fault that the fact that they have bodies makes you a fucking sinful horndog. Gotta fix that problem yourself, buddy. Go on, blind yourself.”
“Uh….”
“Or learn to keep it in your g’damn pants no matter what they’re wearing.”
Canon Jesus > Fanon Jesus.
seriously though why do wizards celebrate christmas other than ‘jk rowling is christian’
what reason do literal wizards have to celebrate a muggle god whose miracles are mostly within the limits of what wizards can normally do anyway
The father of every second child is a motherfucker
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Dumbledore, died at age 115
Horcruxes made: 0
Voldemort, died at age 71
Horcruxes made: 7
Conclusion: Voldemort was the most useless, magic dependant wizard that ever existed. He could have lived till like 200 if he just ate well and exercised, but no he had to go and split up his soul and ruin perfectly good jewellery, fucking dumbass.
this sounds like it was written by hermione granger at 1 am
The only thing separating you from certain death at 65mph is a painted white line and a mutual agreement not to play bumper cars.
One of the most annoying things in life is having your headphones being ripped out of your ear by getting it snagged on something
tomfordvelvetorchid-deactivated
WHY DID A GROUP OF WHITE MEN WRITE LAWS FOR PEOPLE THAT WOULD BE BORN HUNDREDS OF YEARS LATER WHY ARENT WE ALOUD TO CHANGE AND REVISIT THE CONSITUTION AS TIME CHANGES SHIT THATS FROM 300 YEARS AGO DONT APPLY TO TODAY THE FUCK
The reason for this, he said, was that he feared that Americans would not view themselves as stakeholders in the foundation document of US law, and therefore become divorced from the idea of their own self-governance, and that politicians from the President down would become ‘like wolves’.
*Looks around at America in 2017*
Yeah he fuckin called that shit.
Thomas Jefferson: a perfect example of how even people who are the absolute worst can be right about stuff occasionally.
foreveraloone
Dar um chiclete para um amigo é igual a vender drogas:
Você não ouviu nada, você não viu nada e você não conseguiu isto de mim.
Source: pokeralho