the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck
this is what ancient greek philosophy is like
GANDALF FUCKED UP AND EVIL MOMENT!? WHY DID HE FEEL THE NEED TO SCARE HIM LIKE THAT!?
This is so funny
Tumblr really has ruined me. I was in a Rite-Aid and "out of touch" came on over the speakers, and I freaked out a bit because I thought I had missed my thursday morning meeting. It took me a minute before I remembered that Out of Touch playing does not always mean its thursday. sometimes people just play the song.
i want to be a conventionally attractive wealthy skinny ciswoman so i can go on the bachelor and make it all the way thru the competition, and when the guy proposes to me i just like leap towards him and close my teeth around his neck and bite as hard as i can. just absolute animal brutality like shaking his neck like a ragdoll, growling ripping tearing etc, and then before anyone can stop me immediately run into traffic and die so no one ever gets the chance to understand why that happened
boyboobs
me when i fucking hit something me when i fucking hit something me when i fucking hit something me when i
@is-the-parrot-video-cute is this ok or is that parakeet getting territorial
Rating: cute
If this cockatiel was truly being territorial it would be trying to attack the other bird.
You may also notice that it is not hurting the person’s hand, and is certainly not trying to bite them, this is not aggressive behaviour. This behaviour is called beaking (using the beak to interact with another individual in a play/non-aggressive way). The yellow cockatiel is simply trying to get the person’s attention, kinda like poking someone repeatedly until they pay attention to you. It’s not aggressive, just a little bit demanding.
You might also notice that when the person takes their hand away from the white cockatiel, it bows its head and moves closer to their hand. Both of these birds want cuddles, they just have very different personalities and different ways of asking.
Alright so the Chinese are vampires now apparently
"our war correspondent has seen this"
Fred Prinze Jr's Fred walked so Ryan Gosling's Ken could run
That's just the same man again.
marvel’s dedication to portraying j jonah jameson as a complex three dimensional character with likeable traits and sympathetic qualities is really funny cuz it’s led to the creation of a character who unfailingly stands for truth and integrity in journalism except for this one specific dude he is absolutely convinced is putting chemicals in the water to turn the frogs gay
life becomes so beautiful when you start cooking rice in liquids other than water
put that basmati rice in the cooker with coconut cream and chicken stock and an entire onion that you've diced and sauteed with garlic until transparent. and some salt and pepper. Trust me
"Uncle Benadryl's one minute rice" one minute what? awake? left to live?
george and elaine were the original haters. kramer was not a hater he was a pioneer - some people will try to tell you jerry was also a hater but they’re wrong. jerry was a poser. he was a hater in private, which is the worst kind of hater - no backbone. he would nod understandingly at george and elaine’s woes but he would secretly be hating on their hate. too much shame in his game. elaine and george would hate publicly, with their whole chests, ESPECIALLY on each other, that’s how you know it was real
I feel like practicing any skill would be way more fun if I could have a lil level increase thing that pops up in front of me every time I do good like in Skyrim
“Push ups increased to level 5”
“Writing dialogue increased to level 37”
“Coping mechanisms (healthy) increased to level 18”
oh so when a so-called "ARCHAEOLOGIST" goes around robbing graves and taking their contents back to their so-cakkklled "MUSEUMS" it's all fine and dandy, but WHEN I, YOUR LOCAL, SMALL-TIME NECROMANCER-
Bro if I die you can raid my tomb
thank you so much! you wouldn't have any issue with being RAISED IN UNHOLY SERVITUDE TO THE WORLD'S SOON-TO-BE TYRANT, now, would you?
Nah bro you're cool
sweet! now if you'll sign YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL TO MY NECROMANCEROUS WHIMS, uh, here on the dotted line:
Yessiree
hey what's your name there