Do you ever just crave to someone’s presence, like you would literally be happy sitting next to them in silence and appreciating their existence.
They say a gun cant kill someone itself. Well. Neither can e.coli infected romaine lettuce, but instead of encouraging increased consumption, they removed the lettuce from society and the company responsible ended their harvest.
small child: [absolutely incomprehensible gibberish]
me:
jooshbag
My favorite meme is everybody knowing who Tony Hawk is but never recognizing him in public.
This is my family. I found it all on my own. It’s little and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.
“You can’t just change the race of cultural icons like Captain America! It’s an important part of their identity and message!”
Jesus: Ah yes.
Jesus: Can’t imagine who would do that.
Jesus: What a shame.
me: “I hate the love at first sight cliche’ I much prefer slow-burn ships”
also me @ my slow-burn ships:
me: could you just sit down and work on your stuff for like, half an hour without being distracted?
also me, already opening tumblr mobile, 5 youtube tabs and my ds:
This one time I was at a street festival hosted by my Uni and there was a guy doing card tricks. I was watching him when I noticed he dropped a card. (7 of spades) I quickly pu my shoe in it and then bent down to act like I was tying my shoe. He then asks for a volunteer so I raise my hand. He asks me to say the name of a card at random so I say “7 of spades” he does his trick that I guess was supposed to make it come on top. He holds up the Ace of Hearts and says “is this your card?” And I hold up the card and said “no but this is” and the crowd LOST IT. I handed the card back to the magician and walked away. Later he comes up to me and asks me how I did it. I looked him in the eye, smiled and said “magicians never reveal their secrets” and walked away.
this is some god tier trickery and i love it