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Zodiac Stuff

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I might be slightly biased towards Leo and Virgo, but who actually believes in this shit anyway?
Her lips are like the Galaxy's edge: Aries, Gemini, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Pisces
And her Kiss the color of a Constellation falling into place: Taurus, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Capricorn

astrological movie masterpost

***IF ITS ITALICIZED THEN THIS FILM IS AVAILABLE ON NETFLIX RIGHT NOW***

any genre film based on sun/moon 

aries sun/moon: “boyhood” (growing up and all the rash and/or unwise decisions that come with that. competitive upbringing)  “the aviator” (a frenzied soul who fakes it till ya make it. big dreams, a big persona, and a pioneer to an industry but deeply troubled behind it all), “the wolf of wall street” (honestly this movie was so fast-paced and mad that i could only take it in small doses. everyone is selfish and turns on a dime) 
taurus sun/moon: “the grand budapest hotel” (a film rich in aesthetic. a hotel owner who is a professional lush sets out on an adventure as he is being pegged for murder. a tale of paintings, pastries, and paramour), “big stone gap” (excessive family. stubborn and perseverant. a bit apprehensive of change)“today’s special” (a chef gets back to his roots and has to learn why he was passionate about food in the first place and how to savor every second) 
gemini sun/moon: “ferris bueller’s day off” (witty and incredibly adaptable. can make friends with anyone, anywhere. being childlike and curious, enjoying the little things), “black swan” (ambiguous film where you don’t know what to believe), “the truman show” (his whole life has been unknowingly documented. everyone is just playing a role. media manipulations)  
cancer sun/moon: “take care” (feeling like an inconvenience. wanting to be taken care of. guilt trips), “lymelife” (putting family and ‘home’ into perspective. awkward, at times endearing, a bit hectic), “high fidelity” (old fashioned guy. stuck in the past wondering where it went wrong), “the other woman (2009)” (learning to be a mother. the emotional rollercoaster of trying to love and be loved) 
leo sun/moon: “confessions of a teenage drama queen” (i mean…do i even need to explain this lmao), “beaches” (pride and loyalty. learning to love without having to be the only one receiving love), “anywhere but here” (self-centered mother who wants her to be a star. fixed opinions but is powerful & warm)“grease” (good girl, bad boy. popular. all love their hair lol)
virgo sun/moon: “beyond the lights” (never feeling good enough. a mother who compulsively criticizes her. the theme of ~what happens behind the scenes~ and going back to the basics)“short term 12″ (wants to service everyone else but forgets about themselves), “the intern” (an observant elderly man is methodized and eager to work, always there for advice & support), “as good as it gets” (a bitter man who struggles with OCD overcoming his fears and unleashing his compassionate side)
libra sun/moon: “legally blonde” (a bit superficial. values doing the right thing. people think she’s air-headed but is actually more ‘in the know’ than given credit for)“can’t buy me love” (getting caught up in the popular crowd. pretending to be something you’re not), “he’s just not that into you” (most confusing movie ever. literally nobody can make up their mind lmao) 
scorpio sun/moon: “st. elmo’s fire” (this film has literally everything scorpio and/or related (8th house) in it; secrets, betrayal, intimacy, transforming, debt, etc), “stealing beauty” (uncovering mysteries, forbidden affairs, paranoia. a taboo film), “lila & eve” (crime drama. goes to show just how far two resentful mothers will go)
sagittarius sun/moon: “bruce almighty” (humorous. has the theme of ‘luck’ and ‘higher power’) “away we go” (redefining what ‘home’ means. traveling across the country, new experiences, lots of bad jokes) “funny face” (an amateur philosopher has strong opinions for the modeling industry, wants nothing more than to travel for lectures), “good will hunting” (a genius and self-righteously so but doesn’t know how to truly appreciate life) 
capricorn sun/moon: “uptown girls” (learning to adult from a surprisingly mature child. a mother who is too concerned with her career to pay attention to her daughter), “the pursuit of happyness” (suffering hardships, feeling down & out as he climbs his way up the totem pole. a tale of being a father being able to provide), “the devil wears prada” (another tale of climbing your way to the top, along with the cost of it)
aquarius sun/moon: “scott pilgrim vs the world” (not your average film, includes an alternate dimension. has its technological, futuristic quirks. becoming superior to the rest and standing out in the process), “mona lisa smile” (50′s women gaining new perspective from a ‘subversive’ professor), “the martian” (innovative, humorously noble, feeling castaway, ‘space pirate’) 
pisces sun/moon: “the imaginarium of doctor parnassus” (a fantasy world with a damsel in distress but everything isn’t as it seems),  “because i said so” (milly is bright-eyed and a bit hopeless. her mother pays favor to her. always ends up doing what other people want because although she is highly spirited, she can be a pushover), “amelie” (imagination, imagination, imagination. sets out to help others by being a bit manipulative in the process), “big fish” (reality vs fantasy. idealized & exaggerated upbringing)

romance films based on venus 

aries venus: “10 things i hate about you” “she’s all that” (both films show they can treat romance as a competition but once they are in love, will do whatever they can to keep it alive), “two night stand” (hasty romance. lessons of ‘rushing’. a candor appreciation for another), “beginners” (being honest with yourself. ‘a movie with an unflinchingly tough heart.’)
taurus venus: “dirty dancing” (stubborn, sensual, and learning to position yourself securely lol), “the great gatbsy” (wealth. everyone indulges themselves, goes overboard out of love), “happily ever after” (sudden yearning for stability, excessive in more ways than one) 
gemini venus: “save the date” (a girl who is scared of commitment. covers up her fear with humor. ‘word vomit’ through the whole movie lol. works at a bookstore. has a sister dynamic in the film of the one who is a bit silly & immature and the one who acts like she knows everything), “how to lose a guy in 10 days” (a two faced romance. lighthearted mind games and calling each others bluff), “garden state” (a lost fella falls for a quirky compulsive liar. a surprisingly intelligent and outlandish film) 
cancer venus: “closer” (kind of shows more unhealthy traits of this placement but shows they just want to be in comfort with you but can guilt trip people and ask for reassurance where its not needed), “a walk to remember” (two lovers jaded in their own right find love. trying to protect one another from getting hurt and hurt each other in the process), “brooklyn” (building a life together. choosing between a lover at home or a home within a lover) 
leo venus: “elvis and anabelle” (a radiant beauty queen has a near-death experience that alters her way of existing. brings a boy out of his shell through theatrics and love), “take this waltz” (she meets a man and starts rethinking her own loving marriage, does she want more? demanding, bold, and has a childishness to it), “anomalisa” (uplifting one another, making each other feel extraordinary) 
virgo venus: “people places things” (a man of many standards and subsequently hypercritical in the name of love), “me before you” (taking care of another. breaking free from routine), “when harry met sally” (constant challenging of standards. loving the little things), “enough said” (looking beyond imperfections. practically endearing) 
libra venus: “hitch” (got his heartbroken. now runs a business as a ‘love doctor’ where he gives men the push to pursue love through setting a meet-cue. but when he falls for a girl he has no idea what to do), “alfie” (a womanizer who refuses to be seen as a regular person who experiences the everyday woes that we all do. says he’s ‘always okay’), “27 dresses” (jane is a ‘more’ evolved version of this venus. loves love, is a major people pleaser. her sister on other hand pretends to be whatever her partner wants, is a major socialite) 
scorpio venus: “love actually” (falling for what you can’t have and having difficulty expressing it), “no kiss list” (liking someone you can’t have and making that person feel like you can’t like anyone other than them), “chasing amy” (obsessive. sabotaging a relationship out of fear), “a dangerous method” (a forbidden and intoxicating affair with a patient), “last night” (temptation and affairs) 
sagittarius venus: “begin again” (greta is independent, blunt, and spontaneous. teaches dan and his daughter a few important lessons. love is a learning experience), “definitely, maybe” (flashbacks to 3 romances, all with women who either write, travel, and/or simply free-spirited. habits of running away. being judgemental of how to live life. expanding horizons. shamelessly honest), “they came together” (clumsy, a straight up mess. light-hearted. mocks romance films) 
capricorn venus: “timer” (doesn’t see the point of a relationship if they aren’t ‘guaranteed’. uses a timer to tell you when you’ll find your soul mate)“meet my valentine” (a family man who finds out he’s terminally ill is determined to find a loving provider to replace him), “before sunset” (an assertive romance, at times a bit cynical, but cheeky and loving) 
aquarius venus: “friends with benefits” “no strings attached” “sleeping with other people” (all the couples in the films were meant to keep things casual but got messy in the process), “frequencies- oxv: the manual” (s/o to @astr-logy for the recommendation! a film about being outcasted, breaking the world & love down to an equation, feelings of not feeling) 
pisces venus: “500 days of summer” (tom is a prime example of the idealization and fantasy romance that can come with this placement), “practical magic” (loves unconditionally but there is a tragic twist. two sisters - one who has a homemaker persona and one devastatingly bored of the mundane), “listen to your heart” (a deaf girl, who is a bit of a damsel in distress as her parents crush her dreams, and an amateur piano composer find inspirational love) 
romance films based on venus in the houses
venus in fire house (1st, 5th, 9th): “50 first dates”“the holiday”, “deadpool” (a stretch? no), “before we go”
venus in earth house (2nd, 6th, 10th): “everything before us”, “friends with money”, “chocolat”
venus in air house (3rd, 7th, 11th): “celeste & jesse forever”, “nick and norah’s infinite playlist”, “her”, “the beauty inside” 
venus in water house (4th, 8th, 12th): “the time traveler’s wife”, “eternal sunshine of the spotless mind”“stuck in love”, “candy”, “comet”

action/drama films based on mars

aries mars: “death proof” (daredevil central. going toe-to-toe with a killer), “crank” (a film literally about keeping your heart rate up. will die without an adrenaline rush), “spring breakers” (living in the moment. playfully deviant and childishly so), “the challenger” (learning to fight for what’s worth it; choosing your battles) 
taurus mars: “matilda” (all the antagonists were greedy slobs who put themselves on a pedestal by making everyone else feel inferior), “the shawshank redemption” (avoids conflict, plays his hand slowly, no stranger to money), “american hustle” (luxuriating in ‘sin’, glorifying the hustle, high-resistance characters) 
gemini mars: “pirates of the caribbean” (jack sparrow is a character that’s easy to be allured to but difficult to trust. never seems to be who he appears and covers everything up with slurred antics), “seven psychopaths” (comical murder film where even has a darker or lighter side than you thought), “the prestige” (two illusionists go head to head to out-trick another. the huge secret of ‘duality’) 
cancer mars: “punch-drunk love” (stereotypical ‘nice’ guy with a lot of problems and insecurities. falls into a weird blackmail ploy), “mad max: fury road” (emotionally raw. recklessly protective. driven by the familial and home), “mr nobody” (recounting of memories. driven by pure emotion) 
leo mars: “hot rod” (acts like a big shot, always attempting to prove himself worthy), “guardians of the galaxy” (everyone has a major ego and wants to show off. music reminds me of the 80′s which reminds me of hair which is leo lmao), “frank” (i feel like many would believe this to be a more aquarius film with its long-standing reputation of being one of the most unconventional films of all time but the film is about fame, how to get there, how to stand out, and being histrionic in the making) 
virgo mars: “pay it forward” (actions geared toward helping others, insecurities and not wanting others to feel sorry, a need for efficiency), “captain america: the first avenger” (modest, just wants to contribute. high energy, lots of stamina ‘i could do this all day’), “cyberbully” (theme of words cutting deeper than you’d think) 
libra mars: “mean girls” (acts nice & unassuming only to better manipulate a situation), “gangster squad” (puts justice into their own hands. has people in pocket and knows how to work a room to use people to one’s disposal), “v for vendetta” (another film of putting justice into your own hands. created a tragic scenario to trick evey into learning no matter what one goes through, the right thing to do is the only appropriate way to live)
scorpio mars: “heathers” (conniving & hypocritical. veronica isn’t a saint herself but disproves of people who are cruel and sets out to teach them a lesson), “mr & mrs smith” (secretive. both know they’re spies but never tell each other & don’t feel neither has the right to be; in the same field of work but criticize each other for it), “django unchained” (rescue and revenge. will exploit anything or murder anyone to get back to his lover)
sagittarius mars: “maidentrip” (a young adventuress sails across the world)“artifact” (documentary film giving insight into the truth of the music industry. pretentious, pseudo-intellectuals), “the believer” (heavily controversial film. audacious in the name of beliefs and what one believes to hold verity) 
capricorn mars: “erin brockovich” (a relentless environmental activist sets out a case against a gas company where their supplies have left residents fatally ill. demands respect), “whiplash” (pushes limits beyond limits. ambitious to the core and seeks to achieve aspirations continuously), “american psycho” (a successful banker has an alter, killer ego who relishes in all that he does & ‘achieves’)
aquarius mars: “the big lebowski” (acts above violence and just says ‘fuck it’ to everything), “equilibrium” (feelings are literally outlawed but an enforcer soon falls victim to rebellion), “terminator” (a cyborg on a mission. a young boy fighting against the technologically advanced) 
pisces mars: “snowpiercer” (sacrifice, clairvoyance, spiritualism. as pete travers said, ‘a slambam sci-fi thriller with a brain, a heart and an artful sense of purpose’), “fight club” (gasp. shocking it isn’t aries mars, right? the story is about a man wanting to escape his everyday life, has an addictive personality, and finds himself immersed in this extracurricular activity), “philomena” & “of mind and music” (one defines true forgiveness. looking past all the tragedy and finding the beauty) 

EVERY ASTROLOGY POST EVER

Aries: Angry aggressive roar Hulk SMASH
Taurus: So hungry I'm going 2 eat this textpost
Gemini: Can't stop talking I'm so full of shit!!!
Cancer: Crai cry baby crying tears everywhere grumpy
Leo: Me me me I love me everyone loves me
Virgo: Obsession..shy...analyze.. OCD stick up mi butt
Libra: Shopping 2 faced hoe everyone jus be frnds!!!!1!1
Scorpio: Sex death body oil ooo so sexy u like that
Sagittarius: Happi all the time also knows meaning of life
Capricorn: So srs so work very reserved, Elsa frm frozen
Aquarius: Aliens...drugs.....no emotions...did i mention aliens
Pisces: Sleepy ponies fairies -6 IQ also crying hiccups

the signs’ anger as natural phenomenons

ARIES: lightening (a sudden destructive release; often well aimed and with few survivors)

TAURUS: volcanic eruption (with a build-up so slow the outburst is rarely expected, though they give lots of warnings; the destruction is vast and they can remain upset or hold a grudge for a long time after)

GEMINI: tornado (very messy and loud, they will verbally throw everything at you in the hopes that something hits where it hurts the most; could be harmless except when it’s not)

CANCER: tsunami (it’s usually very personal, they want you to feel exactly what you made them feel; they want you to drown in that feeling)

LEO: wildfire (one of the worst tempers, they take a lot and it’s usually one seemingly small thing that sparks it, from then on its loud and obliterates everyone in its path and doesn’t end until they’re good and satisfied or plain exhausted; no apologies)

VIRGO: earthquake (they’ve most likely been holding this in for ages just under the surface, hot and densely suppressed; it seems to happen without warning, the façade of control cracks, they release some of their most shattering critiques and observations; no one is exactly the same after)

LIBRA: hail storm (anger is usually communicated clearly, if not coldly and with a bit of passive-aggressive derision; they probably discussed it with themselves whether this anger is deserving or not, if it’s been deemed justified your verdict is final and penance is delivered without respite)

SCORPIO: maelstorm (this is definitely a palpable experience for everyone involved; they will hold back at first, more from fear of themselves than of you; the break can happen as suddenly as an aries, it is consuming and frightening for both of you, the depth of their contempt, even if exposed just a little, causing either of you back off least you fall in and never return; they usually regret not being the bigger person after)

SAGITTARIUS: solar flare (like scorpio, they are aware of the power of their temper which is why they seem to distance themselves or ‘run away’ when upset; if they can’t laugh it off, the flare is sudden and strong for them, throwing everything, like gemini but with grotesquely precise aim; then it’s over like nothing even happened)

CAPRICORN: avalanche/mudslide (their anger is like a higher power, even while they are feeling it they are still trying to distance themselves from it so that it becomes its own force with its own will, course and end; and the end is usually them never acknowledging your existence again. ever.)

AQUARIUS: thunder storm (slow to anger, when it happens all their positive traits are flipped, friendliness becomes cold, imagination becomes cunning, cool cleverness turns to a harsh downpour of criticism and ugly truths; they will make you doubt whether their brighter side ever really existed)

PISCES: geyser (for one fleeting moment they are so completely besides themselves it’s frightening for everyone involved; their deep, emotionally intelligent nature is flushed away in a destructive and scary display they didn’t even know they were capable of, rushing out of a deep chasm of turmoil they probably didn’t know was there)

the birth of a star.

1. aries. baby of the zodiac. he is wide-eyed and curious with a heart of burning flames. it is his first among twelve, and though he seems self-sufficient on his own, there isn’t a doubt that the most courageous warrior could use a guardian angel. 

was there ever a hero who died happy? achilles had questioned. he claimed to be the first.

was there ever a hero who was reborn & reborn again? did he ever die happy? once? twice?

does aries know of the journey he will face? lifetime after lifetime, breath and shaking breath, crimson pools and blue veins.

blood drips down the forehead of aries, but there’s no wound to be seen. the war god mars tells him: there will be more battles.

2. taurus. aries passes. he carries the lessons he had brutally acquired rooted in his soul to the life of taurus. the sudden brashness and vibrance that had killed him was replaced with a new mind. patience. strength. will. success happens after you stand your ground–even if it is shaking beneath your feet. 

they will want to change you. but don’t move, taurus. don’t move, don’t move, don’t move, don’t move, dont move, dont move dont–

3. gemini. the soul is a child yet again. the sky peers above his mortal self like a curtain that always seemed to remain an indescribable blue. his laughter was music, echoing from the tips of trees to the pits of the ocean, and all of nature fell silent to listen to a boy prince.

what was a rainy day to a gemini?

4. cancer. but perhaps there were more important things to a soul. a yearning tugged at his heartstrings for what seemed like eternity. the signs are clear–surely this must be worth his life.

cancer longed for the water. she had whispered love poems to him in his sleep, each verse drawing him towards her like a tide. it was her ocean of love he wanted to swim in. the seas that kissed gently at his ankles. promises of true love, affection, security–but all beneath the surface.

it is common sense: if you spend too long underwater, you will drown. the water cannot love you back.

he drifts unconscious into the deception of love that overwhelmed him. but if you ask me, i don’t think cancer really minded.


the death of cancer is new beginning.

5. leo. his cheeks are dusted with gold from the kisses of gods. scarlet, honey, king of the wildflowers. they rise to meet him like the sun.

6. virgo. why didn’t you finish your biology project? when will you eat? you’re so thin! did you really sleep all day? your eyes are bloodshot, why didn’t you get any sleep? now why are you crying? you’re so sensitive! you love drawing, what happened? they’re not laughing at you, they don’t even know who you are. you think way too much! stop overthinking. just think happy thoughts! why don’t you talk to anyone? how come you never have fun like you used to? i wish you would just open up! you’re such a downer. we’d probably be better off without you. honestly i forgot he was he was even here! 

virgo: crush their words with both fists, until they are nothing but isolated letters and bloody broken vowels.

he asks, when does it end?


mercury responds, you’re halfway there. 

7. libra. dear libra,


covering his organs in yellow paint didn’t make van gogh happy. that girl in your class who filled her insides with pills didn’t end up happy–she ended up in the hospital. i know your uncle drowned his lungs in alcohol, but did you ever see him happy? likewise, making room in your heart for people who will only let it rot won’t make you happy.

sincerely,
 venus. 

8. scorpio. does he remember the fire? the massive flames had burned down his walls of concrete, wrecking every barrier he had built. the structure that intimidated and towered from above at those who dared to intrude.

but what lied behind these seemingly unconquerable walls? a beast? a kingdom? perhaps nothing at all. maybe just barren land, and the only things that lived were the rumors themselves.

the flames know secrets. it’s something worth much more. it was the king’s delicate heart, his fragile mortality.

when the red storm silenced, nothing remained but the pulsating organ.

the flames grasped it with a firey fist, and squeezed. the thing scorpio spent his life trying to protect became one with the ashes.

but scorpio will sweep every last bit of it into the hollow dustpan of his chest. he will swallow every shattered piece of concrete and glass until the kingdom he once considered invincible was nothing but vacant land. of course scorpio will remember the fire, it’s impossible to forget.

he is reborn. his fingers are bloody from picking up the broken shards, but scorpio will manage through–

–and start again. 

9. sagittarius. a sewn-together heart, yet stronger than ever. they say the heart is a wild thing, and for sagittarius, this is no exception.

it’s the last quarter, but there is so much to do and see and read and hear. how disappointing would it be to miss out on such small adventures? sagittarius’s heart is a wanderer.

10. capricorn. 8/13/2016 - to do list: 

  • study for your physics final
  • finish your paper on saturn’s rings
  • rent a suit by saturday
  • prepare notes for monday’s debate
  • complete latin homework 

capricorn, please give yourself a break. i know you want to be the best. i know you want to conquer all. but you are destined for something greater than anything on this planet.

non est hoc tuum.

“this world is not yours.” 

  • research paper topic: how is a star born?

11. aquarius. this life is your second to last. are you frightened? anxious? 

no, i don’t think aquarius is afraid. for a reason unknown to him, he is fascinated with stars–the way they come and the way they go.

elements of light are compressed from the pressure of gravity in interstellar gas. a fusion reaction in the nuclei. outward pressure. a star.

this is what they teach in science class.

a life reborn. growth in each. a new lesson learned. aries to pisces, one to twelve. at the end of it all, the burden of your lives weigh down on your glowing soul like gravity. a star.

this is his theory.

12. pisces. death was an angel who arrived in a hazily ecstatic dream // and he welcomed it.

—there is a new star in the sky tonight. {j.f.d}

The Signs as Class of 2021 Tweets

@ TheSignsAs || IG

Aries: 6th graders have declared war on high schoolers!!!!! We will throw vape bombs in your classes and shoot you with silly bands😜😈👊 #WatchUrBack

Taurus: My gf told me she’s home alone and to bring a condiment? I’m so confused lol I’ll just bring mustard😂😊🙈

Gemini: Can’t wait to take our relationship to the next level…… Hopscotch here we come😏😘❤️😈😜😍💑💜💚💙👌

Cancer: Got a problem with me? Have your mom call my mom.👿💆😴👏👊

Leo: First let me hop out my motha effin heelys🚨😎 I don’t want her if that rump don’t sit like a horse🐴🍑

Virgo: Omg 6th grade prom is next week and I’m scared theres gonna be grinding😖😰🙅👎

Libra: Things r changing…🙅lollipops turning into dicks😁🍆 soda becomes alcohol🍻bike helmets turning into condoms😪Disney channel becoming pornhub😳

Scorpio: Hugged my gf and didn’t wear protection……I think she’s pregnant now😁😕😳 #Scared #omg

Sagittarius: Is 6th grade senioritis a thing cause I’m definitely feeling it😅😜💁💯

Capricorn: #MyLifeIn5Words so done with sixth grade😓😖😕👎🙅💆

Aquarius: High schoolers are communists!!!!👊👎😱😁😒😷

Pisces: YAY!!! My mommy said my new bedtime is 9:00pm #$wag #Adult #GrownUp😃😈😎💯LOL at the losers who still have 8:30pm bedtime #Children #Losers😂😭🙅

secrets of the signs

aries: they’re so insecure and scared and they don’t know how to handle situations appropriately

taurus: they have serious body image issues and they’re terrified of getting hurt 

gemini: they spend most of their time thinking about the very worst that could happen in any situation

cancer: they’re so much stronger than they look but they still want to be treated like they’re weak and fragile

leo: they feel guilty all the time and regret so much, they may not act like it but they take responsibility for everything

virgo: they’re afraid of being dumb or incapable so they overcompensate like hell

libra: their self esteem relies too much on other people’s opinions, they think they’re nothing without people to admire them

scorpio: their mind goes to such dark places, they scare and disgust themselves

sagittarius: they hate being wrong and beat themselves up fiercely when they have to admit they are

capricorn: they had to grow up too fast and are forever trying to loosen up and relive their childhood the way it should have been

aquarius: they’re terrified of being unoriginal and boring, and need to believe there’s something special about them

pisces: they don’t know who they are and will never be satisfied with themselves