Violets and Pilots

in recent events of that zoo losing the clouded leopard, it reminded me of the time i went to a large petting zoo and there was a free roaming little black sheep. cutest little guy i ever saw, soi went to the zookeeper nearby and said ‘i think its really cute how you have a sheep thats allowed to just walk around. ‘ then the zookeepers eyes widened and he grabbed his walky talky and ran 

in recent events of that zoo losing the clouded leopard, it reminded me of the time i went to a large petting zoo and there was a free roaming little black sheep. cutest little guy i ever saw, soi went to the zookeeper nearby and said ‘i think its really cute how you have a sheep thats allowed to just walk around. ‘ then the zookeepers eyes widened and he grabbed his walky talky and ran 

I think a fundamental aspect (though not the only one) of why a lot of twitter people failed in their attempt to come to tumblr is that plenty of them are in the “sassy banter” part of the tech tree, where they think that hitting someone with a sitcom zinger is the biggest own possible, but tumblr is on the “kill yourself” part of the tree, which is the hard counter to that.

A 2:8 match-up if I ever saw one.

New York police officer fires his .38 service revolver at almost point-blank range into a piece of bulletproof glass, with a very brave test subject behind it, 1931.

What experimental value does a whole living guy add to this

Cops don’t shoot their guns if there’s no potential for civilian harm. It’s a motivator.

I can’t post irony or sarcasm on this damn site without someone taking it the absolute wrong way so from now on I’ll add a picture of this little guy whenever I’m feeling sarcastic

Or just whenever I feel like posting him because he’s a great little guy

She's not even butch

this pastiche from 1895 is indistinguishable from any hiatus brain crackfic you’d find on AO3 today

wake up babe new jesus just dropped

Even saying ”I’m so sorry, I completely forgot” sounds marginally better than ” I’m so sorry, I didn’t completely forget, I actually completely remembered. I thought about it the whole time and it stressed me out so much my brain built an insurmountable wall around it.”

TIL the first known case of “dying from laughing” involved the greek man called Chrysippus, who, after giving figs to his donkey, cried out “Now give the donkey a drink of pure wine to wash down the figs”, had a fit of laughter afterwards and died.

via reddit.com

pretty funny i guess

had to be there

Translation is always tricky, but I remember this slightly different:

Figs were an imported delicacy at the time, and the donkey just managed to eat them (without being given any on purpose). Seeing a donkey eating several times their own value in figs, the philosopher looked to his servant who might have been standing there either in shock, despair, or both, and said something along the lines of “Oh don’t just stand there. Get him some (undiluted) wine to wash the figs down with”. With (undiluted) wine also being an expensive drink.

I feel like that context makes it funnier. Basically like standing in front of your burning mansion with a butler, meeting their eyes, and telling them that you still feel a little chilly and ask them if they could put on an extra log or two.

idk what’s funnier, the burning house situation, or being the butler as you watch your master laugh so hard at his own joke that he fully fucking dies.

CONTROVERSIAL OPINION ABOUT BISEXUALITY

that purple in the middle is not the right saturation, it doesn't fit with the other two colors and it drives me crazy.

all right, I think I got this, I've got dual citizenship and I have another flag we can borrow from:

step 1

step 2

step 3

This is true bi/ace solidarity.

holy shit

Pippa time

Pippa time

caramel frappe give me the strength to clean my room

caramel frappe PLEASE

thank you so much this is the highest compliment

It’s a shiny rock, what’s not to like?

why is hideki naganuma insane. who is teaching a middle aged japanese man to say shit like this