I think that people are being a bit unfair here.
The examples that were given of Dick losing his temper (him being upset about Starfire’s wedding and the breakup, being rude to Alfred, being annoyed that Bruce was blowing him off) literally all of these events happened while Dick was brainwashed by Brother Blood. They specifically mention in the comic that Dick would have never lashed out in this way if he hadn’t been brainwashed:
The New Teen Titans (1984) #22
“He has rebelled…and he lashes out at all around him as a result of his mental battle.”
“If you didn’t resist before, you would never have fought with your friends the way you have.”
I don’t think that it’s really fair to hold Dick accountable for what he did when he was brainwashed, or to use those instances as a basis for saying he had an out of control temper. Dick lashing out at his friends/family wasn’t normal Dick Grayson behavior. The fact that it wasn’t normal behavior for Dick was literally a plot point here.
And with this context, what really happened in that scene with Bruce, Jason, and Dick…is that Dick has subconsciously realized that something is really wrong, is fighting against the brainwashing, and goes to Bruce as a cry for help. Dick looks like absolute crap and clearly is in emotional distress. He needs and asks for Bruce’s help, but Bruce basically goes “sorry this case is more important than you,” brushes Dick off, and leaves with Jason. So, even on his birthday, Dick is an afterthought. He can’t even get a couple minutes alone with Bruce. And Dick doesn’t “lash out” or yell or punch anyone, even while not in his right mind, he understands and just leaves.
Why do we only care about neglectful parenting when it’s directed at Tim lmao. I felt like this instance was an example of Bruce dropping the ball when Dick really needed him.
Anyway, instead of talking about times where Dick can’t actually be held accountable for his behavior, how about we look at how Dick actually reacted when he was replaced. I don’t believe there is a version of the replacement in Pre-52 that you can look at (whether Dick leaves or is fired) that he is shown to be mean to Jason. In fact, when Dick learns about Jason in the newspaper, Dick takes the initiative to go and talk things out with Batman, and it’s actually Bruce who lashes out and starts punching things, not Dick.
Batman (1940) #416, the whole argument–>[x]
And then Bruce tells Dick to get out, and Dick’s upset, but he just goes. No physical confrontation. Just goes. And despite that horrible conversation, Dick still goes out of his way to give Jason the Robin uniform and his blessing. Dick tells Jason to give him a call if he ever needs help, and they work together on a drug bust.
So…Dick didn’t act like a jerk, even in the scenario where he was fired and replaced. He actually put his hurt feelings aside and did the right thing for Jason. Because Dick was upset with Bruce, Dick and Jason just didn’t interact much, true. But when the two were shown together, they were always pretty amicable.
…But that still isn’t quite the same situation as Tim. How about we talk about a time that Dick’s life was similarly falling apart, and how he handled things then.
A villain named Blockbuster once set out to systematically destroy everything Dick cared about. He made sure that Dick lost his job. He orchestrated events so that Barbara, his girlfriend at the time, would break up with him. Then, Blockbuster set fire to Haly’s Circus. Dick nearly died trying to save his circus family. His childhood home goes up in flames, twenty people die in the fire, and over 100 people are seriously injured. And Dick blames himself for all of it. But when he goes to Barbara for help and comfort afterwards…she says sorry, I’m not comfortable with you here. You can stay the night but then you have to leave. So…a close friend actually has once refused to support Dick in the aftermath of a traumatic event. But instead of lashing out at Babs for kicking him out, as you might assume, Dick actually apologizes to Barbara for imposing on her and putting her in this position. Even though just a couple hours ago he was so distraught that he was literally crying into her lap.
Nightwing (1996) #89
And so he leaves. Then, just when you think things can’t get any worse, Blockbuster bombs Dick’s apartment building, killing 34 people.
Nightwing (1996) #89
We lost them. We lost all our friends. They’re all gone. They’re just…gone…
Nearly every friend Dick made in Bludhaven, his whole supporting cast (with the exception of two or three characters), was killed in the explosion. And the only people who tried to help Dick out in the aftermath were his police partner and Alfred. No one else. Since Barbara made it clear he wasn’t welcome at her place, Dick was literally sleeping on the street under some newspapers.
Nightwing (1996) #91
Dick’s life in Bludhaven was completely and utterly decimated. Tim talks about having nothing left but the Robin mantle…look at Dick here. Dick’s been there too. He had nothing left to lose. And when Dick finally gets the evidence necessary to put Blockbuster, the person responsible for all this suffering, in jail for good, do you know what happens? The evidence is destroyed right in front of his eyes. Dick is so angry he is shaking with rage. He can’t even speak. Wow, he is in one heck of a corner. This is the point where we are supposed to “see his teeth” right? The part where Dick acts like an animal and attacks? He wouldn’t even be hurting a kid or a family member, just some criminal who destroyed his only chance at taking down Blockbuster, the man responsible for all of the suffering Dick is going through.
Nightwing (1996) #92
And yet…Dick doesn’t throw a single punch. Instead, he leaves to continue to try to help, putting his responsibilities to the city first before his anger.
So, canon shows us that 1) Dick took being unfairly replaced with a lot of grace and 2) even when Dick’s life is falling apart, it is still possible for him to control his temper. Now, neither of these instances are actually equivalent to the exact circumstances that Tim went through.
That’s because we don’t know exactly how Dick would react in Tim’s circumstances. He’s never been put in those exact circumstances. It seems pretty silly to me to try to pretend like we know for sure that Dick would react poorly when we have no idea. I know I’ve kind of argued here that there’s quite a bit of evidence that says that Dick wouldn’t have reacted the way Tim did, but even so, I can’t say for sure that Dick would have reacted better than Tim either. This never happened to Dick so we’ll never know.
Red Robin #1
But btw, Tim didn’t just “exclaim about the injustice and wave his hands and walk away”…he lost his temper and punched a ten year old (who, though an assassin, is also an abused child fyi) hard enough to draw blood. And then he threw expensive crap around. He actually did have to be “dragged back” and away from Damian by Dick. And right after this, Tim ran away without telling a single one of his concerned friends/family where he was going. And when Dick, Cassie, Stephanie, and Alfred all reached out to him, Tim was the one to push them away, not the other way around. No one was “refusing to support him.” He was alone in this because he self-isolated, not because he was truly abandoned by those who cared about him.
OP is right in saying that Tim has suffered through a tremendous amount of loss. Red Robin is about that, about the trauma catching up to Tim and the pot boiling over after he’d gone so long repressing. Bruce’s death was Tim’s breaking point. In RR, Tim is falling apart and being unreasonable. He’s acting irrationally. He’s desperate and in denial. This response to trauma was very real and human; I definitely felt sympathy for Tim. But acting like he was handling himself well or somehow right to do all the stuff he did is really missing the point in my opinion! Tim’s self-isolation and his denial were both a result of his trauma, and people were right to be concerned about Tim and to want to try to help him. Tim pushing away his friends/family and running off on his own wasn’t healthy. It was understandable, but he wasn’t right to do all that.
And also while I’m at it, Dick “has the nerve”…to do what exactly? Ask that Tim talk to him? Ask him to come home? He never judged Tim for his actions. He didn’t act all superior or self righteous about replacing him. What exactly did Dick do to Tim in the aftermath of this that was so bad? I didn’t ever see Dick “scold Tim and Damian like a principal with a zero tolerance policy.” What I do remember is Damian finding out that Tim had a contingency plan for him and freaking out and Dick being forced to intervene to stop the fighting…and then immediately afterward Dick talked to Tim about it like an adult, let Tim explain, and actually took Tim’s side on the issue over Damian’s. Meanwhile, Tim can’t hold himself back from going full force on a ten year old. (Tim actually kind of relishes beating Damian up, which isn’t exactly stellar anger management from him here.)
Red Robin #14
So basically, Dick is having to juggle dealing with a flighty, traumatized teenage boy and an unstable assassin child, both of whom can run away at any time if he says the wrong thing and are pretty consistently at each other’s throats, and Dick successfully resolves things with minimal bloodshed, to the extent that Tim and Damian are still able to work together later, and this is somehow a bad thing that Tim is having to suffer through. Really. Sounds like playing Switzerland for these two would be a pretty hard and thankless job. What exactly does Dick have to do to win here.
Look. I know my tone is kind of preachy, but this isn’t meant to be an attack on you OP. It’s just that I’ve just seen a lot of posts like this. I’m really not a fan of people trying to make Dick out to be a hypocrite just to make Tim look better. During the time when Bruce was dead, everyone was put in hard positions, was dealing with their own traumas, and was just doing the best they could. Dick, Tim, and Damian…none of them are the bad guys in this scenario. How about instead of Tim’s choices somehow being the only ones that aren’t really his fault or don’t count, we just accept that Tim reacted poorly and made some bad calls? It doesn’t matter if Dick hypothetically would have done the same thing or worse in an imagined, fantasy scenario because in canon he didn’t. And even if he had, it still wouldn’t have made what Tim did the right thing. Dick’s not some horrible hypocritical jerk and Tim’s not a defenseless victim of his brother’s cruelty is all I’m trying to say.
