sorry to like. care. on main but the whole thing with tiktok trying to steal and repackage and commercialize goncharov is kind of a perfect metaphor for mainstream media turning things done in earnest for enjoyment’s sake into shitty inauthentic backwash for money and attention. anyway tiktok shouldve been the app to die stop monetizing everything
The Meow Rulers of the Underworld and MC♀ who suffers in her sleep.
sjdsjkdlskdas-deactivated202012
adhd is so funny it's like being possessed but with myself
me, desperately: can we please get something done?!
my inner demon, who is also me: IF YOU LIKE PIÑA COLADA
Ah, a classic.
breaking: lil nas x to rebrand as lil nas twitter
i love this illustration i'm losing my mind
look at her. go crazy aaaaaa go stupid aaaaaa
MORE! PEOPLE! NEED! TO! MAKE! THE! OBM! BOYS! FUCKED UP!!!!
and i dont just mean mentally (although that is appreciated <33)
Mammon turns around to lovestare at you during class💕but his neck is at an extremely offputting angle and when you catch him staring he gets flustered and whips around away from you and you can swear you can hear bones snap
Asmo is braiding your hair and it's soft and gentle, you're almost falling asleep, so you barely register him murmuring about how beautiful you are, how stunning you look in red, how badly he'd like to paint you in it, how sure he is that your insides are as pretty as your outsides, how much he'd like to taste...
You're in the observatory with Belphie, talking in hushed giggles under the stars and the blood red moon. His hands are warm in yours and his eyes are kind, you trust him and want nothing more than to fall asleep here in a nest of pillows, but his shadow looks like its warning you to stay awake
You're venting to Satan, just something petty that your classmate did to spite you, but you're pacing around his room while he watches, and your pulse is racing and you're having to blink the red out of your eyes and you feel suddenly murderous, until you make eye contact with Satan and his eyes are glowing and you realize he's amplifying and feeding off your rage because old habits die hard
Let them be fucked up.
Their Reaction To You Attacking Them With A Toy Weapon (Brothers)
LUCIFER:
Steady now...aim...aaaand...FIRE! ping! The toy arrow flew from your bow and landed straight in the middle of Lucifer's forehead just as he looked up from his paperwork.
"Oh shit--" You slap a hand over your mouth as the demon stares at you unblinkingly. The silence stretches for a good few minutes before he finally blinks. Once.
"You have five seconds to get out of my sight."
You were gone within one. But wait--
You peek your head back round his door. "Hey any chance I could have tha--"
"Three."
"I'll take that as a no..."
"Two."
Gone like the wind. Try again later maybe?
MAMMON:
Laughs. You? Take him on? The GREAT Mammon!? Come off it. But when you launch yourself at him he's taken by surprise and falls over.
"And he's down!" You start attacking him with the foam club in your hands, smacking him upside the head as he tries to push you off to no avail. His cheeks are already on fire from being caught off guard like this but when he sees Lucifer watching the two of you with raised eyebrows he wants to die.
"Having fun?"
"Yessir, very much so." You finish him off with a flourish - a bonk on the forehead - before raising your weapon above your head in victory. "The Great Mammon has been vanquished!"
"Oh good, it's about time."
"OI!"
LEVIATHAN:
Fights back, whipping out his own weapon. Lightsabers? Cue epic battle with self-made lightsaber sounds. You lose, dropping to the floor with an anguished cry.
"My mortal enemy, who is also my lover....how could you do this to meeeee."
"Wait, your what now--!?"
"Play along dumbass, jeez."
SATAN:
Raises his eyebrow at the threat. "Oh really?"
"Engarde!" You stab him in the chest like a fencer, but he doesn't move. You stab him again. He just stares at you.
"Are you done?"
"Dammit Satan can't you play along just once, such a borin' old--" He yanks the sword, pulling you to him with a yelp. You practically headbutt him but he holds you steady with one arm, the other busy holding the sword. To your throat.
"A boring old what now?"
"A uh...boring old...lovely...man. Please don't kill me."
"Tsk, tsk." His lips tug into a toothy grin as he lowers the sword from your throat, letting go of you at the same time and quickly offering the toy back to you.
ASMODEUS:
Dramatically feigns his own death, the two of you end up acting out a whole drama-worthy scene with tears and...well a couple of groping attempts but overall it was an A* performance.
"Oh, why must this be!? Felled by a poison blade! You are the cruelest creature I have ever met... To douse the flame of my life this way! A deathly pallor ill suits me! Oh woe is me!"
BEELZEBUB:
Watches you in mild confusion and amusement as you pepper his torso with sucker-tipped bullets. Probably in the middle of eating something.
"Yes! Bulls-eye, right on the NIP!"
Beel blinks down at his new nipple accessory. You're a strange one but as long as you're enjoying yourself...
He continues munching away.
BELPHEGOR:
You attack him with twin daggers, murdering him in his cozy cocoon. But wait. The lump beneath you is still moving! In a flash Belphie is on you, pinning you to the bed.
"Excuse me? Who the fuck do you think you are?"
"Uh...an assassin...coming to...murder...and stuff..."
"Oh, is that it huh? Well then."
Proceeds to pummel the shit out of you with a pillow until you're a cowering giggling screaming mess on his bed, arms up in defense as he kneels over you beating you to death before collapsing on you.
"I win, loser is tonight's pillow."
"Belphie noooo..."
"Belphie yeees." Is curled on top of you cutely, legs straddling yours and his arms around you.
which one do you prefer? the unhinged maniac, the soft caring one, or the one in between who is one second away to an anxiety attack?
me? i'll take them all
isekai games are so funny to me cuz like. 90% of the time if i got transported so some random new universe i'd probably be looking like this
The Peni and Noir scene we deserve
It’s important to recognise that Barbie (2023) criticises both the patriarchy AND the matriarchy. Yes, the Ken’s are just accessories to the Barbies. Yes, they don’t have any say in the government they live under. That’s the point, you’re supposed to feel awful, you’re supposed to want the Kens to have their own agency, you’re supposed to want equality. The Barbie movie explicitly states that the way Barbie treats Ken is wrong, so much so that once he finds a safe space for his masculinity and individual identity he’s so excited to share it with the other Kens.
But they go overboard and replace a matriarchy with a patriarchy and now the same issue exists but in reverse. That’s the POINT!! THATS THE POINT!!! Barbie is not anti-men it’s pro equality PLEASE understand this
Barbie (2023) + Letterboxd