I'm so Very Normal about Sonic Prime

I love how all of the Batman villains are like “ah he’s not at the manor, it’s defenseless! and then alfred just racks an AK-47 and is like pull up bitch

Batman’s Villains: The butler will be easy prey!

He’s just an old man…he doesn’t have any of the Batman’s gadgets or training or fighting skills!

Alfred: Oh my you’re right

There’s something else of Master Bruce’s I don’t have as well

(Cocks a shotgun) A CODE AGAINST KILLING

Batman’s Villains: Wayne isn’t here to save you old man!

Alfred:

Alfred is the original “Call an ambulance — but not for me”

@dragonpuppies I spent way too long on this

Bruce: I have a code.

Alfred: And I have a gun.

Bruce: time to remove the guns.

Alfred: good fucking luck.

I’ve peer reviewed @ebonyheartnet’s addition and found that it deserves a reblog.

i have hired this fucking thing to stare at you

im rehiring this fucking thing to stare at you

my family is fucking addicted to macgyvering and it's becoming a problem. every time something in this house breaks, instead of doing the sensible thing of replacing it or calling someone qualified to fix it, we all group around the offending object with a manic look in our eyes and everyone gets a try at fixing it while being cheered on or ridiculed by the rest.

it's a beautiful bonding activity, but the "creative" fixes have turned our house into a quasihaunted escape room like contraption where everything works, but only in the wonkiest of ways. you need a huge block of iron to turn on the stove. the oven only works if a specific clock is plugged in. the bread machine has a huge wood block just stapled to it that has become foundational to its function. sometimes when you use the toaster the doorbell rings. and that's just the kitchen.

it's all fun and games until you have guests over and you have to lay out the rules of the house like it's a fucking board game. welcome to the beautiful guest room. don't pull out the couch yourself you need a screwdriver for that, and that metal rod makes the lamp work so don't move it. it also made me a terrifying roommate in college, because it makes me think i can fix anything with enough hubris and a drill. you want to call the landlord about a leaky faucet? as if. one time my dad made me install a new power socket because we ran our of extension cords

to the people saying this isn't safe in the tags: my dad has a engineering degree and my brother is a mechanic this is like. state sanctioned macgyvering. safe sane and consensual macgyvering. our house will not burn down. in fact, i think it has made us all better in approaching problems from all angles when they arise, which has served me well in life, especially in high stress situations.

does our hot water switch off every thirty seconds making showers an exiting exercise in counting and resilience? yes. but one time the door of the train toilet broke, trapping me inside, and i went "well i can either succumb to the panic of claustrophobia or do this family-style" and then spent twenty minutes breaking down the lock with my shoelace and the belt i was wearing. so i'll take the cold water any day

Never have I wanted to see inside a stranger's home more

OP lives in a point-and-click adventure game

Wow. Talk about attention to detail.

Video here: https://twitter.com/javi_draws/status/965260617790738432?s=21

I will probably reblog this every time I see it on my dash because it’s absolutely stunning

This is literally insane. How did you have the patience. Tell me your secrets o’ art god.

ok!!! :0

Part of me is like “neat. Reblog,” and part of me is like “I understand now why impressionism took off, because there’s a 0% chance the artist wasn’t like ‘fuck this shit’ by the halfway point.”

Being polyam is FR like "I'm not aro/ace but I believe in their beliefs"

Posted this an hour ago and already got the tags peer-reviewed twice so here they are in the main post for all to see: #sexual stuff doesn't make/break/define a relationship #People can be meaningful to you in a variety of ways and these are all valuable #The nuclear family is a false ideal #I could go on

As an aroace, right back at you OP! I've legitimately thought about making an 'I'm not polyamorous but I believe in their beliefs' post before.

It's us together against amatonormativity and traditional relationship hierarchy. ✊

[ID: the epic handshake meme, two muscular masculine arms clasped together, where one is labeled aro ace (spaced for readability), the other is labeled polyam. Aro ace’s hand has text that says “relationships do not need to be defined by sexuality.” Polyam’s hand has text that says, “people can be meaningful to you in a variety of ways and these are all valuable.” Their handshake is labeled “the nuclear family is a lie!” The word lie is in all caps. /end]

Also you can have both! I am ace, married to a woman who is allo but dating someone on the aroace spectrum, and I am dating a woman another ace woman. I like to cuddle a lot, and being poly means more cuddles!

slenderman

*most "big" artists (big on tumblr) have been left out to not skew results: (an exception was made for hozier) ** these are songs that were big on the radio in 2014 as well as being released in 2014 !!

Somebody might need to hear this: hey. That was a really scary thing you had to go through. What an awful feeling to be carrying around. So deep inside where no one can hurt you like that ever again. If no one else has ever told you this before then I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you made it. And I'm so fucking sorry you had to see it to begin with. You absolutely did not need to see that. Not ever.

I know I’ve said this before but vampires

therefore I am in dire need of a heist film where a group of vampires band together to steal back their old stuff from museums

Oceans 1100 AD

Very interested in the hardest part of this beign the vampires trying to trick someone into granting them permission to enter the premises earlier in the day

I feel like this has several simple solutions!

(all ideas shared on this blog are public domain, feel free to go nuts. you can find more story ideas like this on my ko-fi)

just saw a single piece of paper drift past 50 feet in the air over buildings like a beautiful white bird

has anybody seen my pet piece of paper. his name is walter he is very fragile but very adventurous. i should never have left the window open in my tenth story apartment

people love extolling the virtues of ball-and-socket joints and how it makes us more advanced and all that but I don't see any fucking octopuses in slings now do I. Bones are overrated and I want a refund.

how dare you lay this curse upon my home

you don't frighten me

Everyone in the notes saying "this is a 10k post to me" "posts that have 100k energy" "posts that are 30k to me" or whatever - alright, fine! Put the fuckin' work in then! You'd better have this queue'd up every day for the next six months! You'd better have all your friends queue'ing it up too!

You want me to suffer?? You want to treat me like my own goddamn bones do??? MAKE AN EFFORT

Once my friend Henry was accused of wearing wireless headphones by a substitute so she said for him to hand them over so he took them off and handed them to her. Then later on she asked him a question and he didn’t respond so she said it louder and he still didn’t respond. She asked why he was not responding and he said “I can’t understand you ma'am, you took my hearing aids.”

HOLY SHIT

one time we had a sub that was handing back papers and called my name. I asked if someone could grab it for me and she started mocking me for not even standing up. taunting me asking why I was not walking up to the front to get the paper myself.

my classmates went dead silent and after the sub’s laughter ended someone informed her that the wheelchair parked nearby belonged to me

I had a sub in English once, on presentation day. And everyone goes up and does their thing, and then its my turn. The whole time im stuttering and mixing up my words, having to stop and re-say my sentences. The rest of the class is used to this and claps. However, by the time its over, the teacher is 100% done.

Starts saying horrible thing about how im going to have to get over my ‘fear of public speaking’ and how she’s heard 8 year olds give better presentations (plus worse things but I don’t really member them). By then im in tears and on the brink of a panic attack, and then she starts telling me off for crying The rest of the class is horrified. Then this boy stands up. He never been my friend and we never really got along, but he’d never bullied me. He told her in a pissed off, cold voice that in freshmen year I got a concussion and that I never really recovered from it, so all that was medical related and I couldn’t help it. Then he starts telling her off and the rest of the class joins him.   The teacher is mortified and tries to cover her ass, but the whole class walked out and that boy took me by the shoulders and we all walked to the principles office and told him what had happened. Lets just say she isn’t teaching anymore. Also, turns out that boy had a sister like me, who couldn’t really speak. We’ve been best friends for 8 years and i’ll be his best woman at his wedding next year.  The moral is that Teachers, even subs, and adults shouldn’t scold kids before knowing the whole story, because shit like that can fuck up kids self-esteem for the rest of their life. 

When I was thirteen, I had to have spinal surgery. When my doctor said I was allowed to attend school again, he said I had to use a wheelchair when on school grounds. My first day back at school, my special-ed teacher had put up a banner in her classroom that read, “There is no elevator to success. You must take the stairs.” I asked what that meant regarding my wheelchair, and she gave me detention for “disrespecting her authority”. The next week she gave us a homework assignment to design a poster that could potentially be used as a Public Service Advertisement. On the due-date, I handed this in.

My special-ed teacher was fucking OUTRAGED. She wanted me expelled for ridiculing her authority in front of the other students. The principal proclaimed my work to be “a masterpiece of satirical genius” and vetoed the special-ed teacher’s attempt to expel me.

Reblogging this post yet again, this time for the masterpiece of satirical genius. Hope the teacher got in trouble.

Stand up for each other. We keep each other safe.

CONTROVERSIAL OPINION ABOUT BISEXUALITY

that purple in the middle is not the right saturation, it doesn't fit with the other two colors and it drives me crazy.

all right, I think I got this, I've got dual citizenship and I have another flag we can borrow from:

step 1

step 2

step 3

This is true bi/ace solidarity.

holy shit

This is the only correct way

[Patchnotes]

My sister sent me this photo today with zero context and I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe

@dingdongyouarewrong i can do you one better