Please. Watch this clip and open your heart to Gintama.

I dont even want context for that. that was a wild ride start to finish.

Iris‌‌h daughte‌‌r ha‌‌d no‌‌t bee‌‌n hom‌‌e fo‌‌r ove‌‌r ‌‌5 years‌‌. Upo‌‌n he‌‌r retur‌‌n he‌‌r Fathe‌‌r curse‌‌d he‌‌r heavily‌‌.

“Wher‌‌e hav‌‌e y‌‌e bee‌‌n al‌‌l thi‌‌s time‌‌, child‌‌? Wh‌‌y di‌‌d y‌‌e no‌‌t writ‌‌e t‌‌o us‌‌, no‌‌t eve‌‌n ‌‌a line‌‌? Wh‌‌y didn'‌‌t y‌‌e call‌‌? Ca‌‌n y‌‌e no‌‌t understan‌‌d wha‌‌t y‌‌e pu‌‌t ye‌‌r ol‌‌d Mothe‌‌r through?‌‌” ‌‌ Th‌‌e girl‌‌, crying‌‌, replied‌‌, “Dad..‌‌. ‌‌I becam‌‌e ‌‌a prostitute.‌‌” ‌‌ “Y‌‌e what!‌‌? Ge‌‌t ou‌‌t ‌‌a here‌‌, y‌‌e shameles‌‌s harlot‌‌! Sinner‌‌! You'r‌‌e ‌‌a disgrac‌‌e t‌‌o thi‌‌s Catholi‌‌c family.‌‌” ‌‌ “OK‌‌, Dad..‌‌. a‌‌s y‌‌e wish‌‌. ‌‌I onl‌‌y cam‌‌e bac‌‌k t‌‌o giv‌‌e mu‌‌m thi‌‌s luxuriou‌‌s fu‌‌r coat‌‌, titl‌‌e dee‌‌d t‌‌o ‌‌a te‌‌n bedroo‌‌m mansion‌‌, plu‌‌s ‌‌a ‌‌5 millio‌‌n saving‌‌s certificate‌‌. Fo‌‌r m‌‌e littl‌‌e brother‌‌, thi‌‌s gol‌‌d Rolex‌‌. An‌‌d fo‌‌r y‌‌e Daddy‌‌, th‌‌e sparklin‌‌g ne‌‌w Mercede‌‌s limite‌‌d editio‌‌n convertibl‌‌e that'‌‌s parke‌‌d outsid‌‌e plu‌‌s ‌‌a membershi‌‌p t‌‌o th‌‌e countr‌‌y clu‌‌b ..‌‌. (take‌‌s ‌‌a breath‌‌) ..‌‌. an‌‌d a‌‌n invitatio‌‌n fo‌‌r y‌‌e al‌‌l t‌‌o spen‌‌d Ne‌‌w Year'‌‌s Ev‌‌e o‌‌n boar‌‌d m‌‌y ne‌‌w yach‌‌t i‌‌n th‌‌e Riviera.‌‌” ‌‌ “Wha‌‌t wa‌‌s i‌‌t y‌‌e sai‌‌d y‌‌e ha‌‌d become?"‌‌, say‌‌s Dad‌‌. ‌‌ Girl‌‌, cryin‌‌g again‌‌, "‌‌A prostitute‌‌, Daddy!‌‌” ‌‌ “Oh‌‌! M‌‌y Goodness‌‌! Y‌‌e scare‌‌d m‌‌e hal‌‌f t‌‌o death‌‌, girl‌‌! ‌‌I though‌‌t y‌‌e sai‌‌d ‌‌a Protestant‌‌! Com‌‌e her‌‌e an‌‌d giv‌‌e ye‌‌r ol‌‌d Da‌‌d ‌‌a hug!‌‌”

The Hargreeves arriving in the 60s from 2019:

The goose

is running loose

to the sound

of lizzo’s “juice.”

who is she

woman seeking woman. i’m six feet tall, fashionable, and enjoy long walks through brackish estuary water off the coast of virginia

She’s our most famous cryptid 

The bae in the bay

The Chesapeake Bae

howl jenkins icons

🎏 · rt or like if you save/use

More Dog Snapchats On Bored Panda

We don’t deserve dogs.

Look how hard the puppy is trying to learn from those videos!

@pankunchiii

I love this post

If the world seems bad or sad today, look at this wholesome post and feel better <3

Doges are too Good and Pure

They are SO PRECIOUS

Capitalism at its best.  Some role models we should all consider.  I am a fan of Hagen Daz, but after reading this, I need to get me some Cherry Garcia!

I just need to work for them tbh 

And they openly support Black Lives Matter. They are GOLD ❤️

they also have an AMAZING dairy free almondmilk ice cream. changed my life

They’ve also gone in front of congress to testify that every shitty business’s claims that minimum wage hikes are bad are complete bullshit

Ben and Jerry have also been arrested for peaceful protest at least one time, so we know they’re the coolest

Support Ben and Jerry’s!

Because of Ben, their ice cream is also specifically made to be appealing to people with anosmia. Due to having no sense of smell, things taste different. (In his case, he barely tastes anything ever. I miss out on a whooole lot of flavors but can still taste a decent amount.)

Sometimes many ice cream flavors are just incredibly bland for us (Especially vanilla, which we almost certainly can’t taste at all, ever.) So Ben is the reason for all the wacky flavors, since texture is a huge component for our enjoyment of food.

THERE IS WATER AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN CARRY THE WATER REMOVE THE WATER

Its like really really really salty water. It’s like heavier than the sea water. I think they’re called brine pools. If fish go in them they get toxic shock. Check out blue planet 2 on Netflix they talk about them.

THE GOO LAGOON????

Gif stands for Graphics Interchange Format. when graphics is pronounced “JAFFICKS” Then I will pronounce Gif with a “J”

^ This

It’s followed by an R of course it would be a hard g. But Giraffe is a soft g. Genius is a soft g. Gin is pronounced with a soft g too. GIF is I following a g, it would be pronounced with a soft g.

It aint Jif peanut butter though.

It would still be pronounced like that. The general rule is if the g is followed by an e or i, it’s soft g. U or a consonant is generally a hard g.

I will DIE WITH MY HONOR

Gear =/= Jear

Get =/= Jet

Gift =/= Jift

Give =/= Jive

In English, words with a ‘G’ followed by an ‘e’ or an ‘i’ can be pronounced with either a hard ‘G’ or a soft ‘G’.

Words with Germanic roots such as ‘gear’, ‘get’, ‘gift’, ‘give’ (see above) are pronounced with a hard ‘g’ while words with Latin or Greek roots such as ‘gem’, ‘general’, ‘giraffe’, ‘giant’, are pronounced with a soft ‘g’.

So no, it’s not exactly a “general rule” that ‘g’ followed by an ‘e’ or an ‘i’ makes a soft ‘g’ sound. 

Additionally, “GIF” is an ACRONYM starting with a word that begins with a hard ‘g’ sound, so “GIF” is therefore pronounced with a hard ‘g’.

We fight with honor

via @greenwoodthegreat. I could not have said it better, my friend.

Thor agrees.

This is a perfect compromise, it makes everyone unhappy.

You know, I can’t argue with that.

Reblog In 5 seconds for good luck

​this worked last night lets go for round two

I really need some good luck rn

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety? 

“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.” 

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

I mean. 

“WHAT THE FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE ROCKS.”

“FUCKER THEY SAID THEY HAVE FETTUCCINE CARBONARA AND HOT GARLIC BREAD OVER THERE HANG ON BITCH.” 

This is true; Odysseus heard them promising him knowledge of the future.  So the next time you see artwork like this:

Remember those sultry naked chicks are saying “We’ll tell you the winning lotto numbers.”

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

This post is a blessing

Congratulations! Odysseus! You’ve been selected as a winner for the free $1000 Amazon Gift Card, Apple iPhone X 256G or Samsung Galaxy S8! Claim your prize now!

Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites

you could say…phishing scam…

bernie sanders tribute

i watch this every single day

LAST TIME I REBLOGGED THIS THE LAST COMPARISON WASNT ON THERE

This is the best thing I have ever seen

@klubbhead You used a cinnamon roll for Rey and not Leia?

Dam it it got better

S T O P

@klubbhead

Do Darth Maul next!

This is why I love Tumblr. Do Yoda next please or Boba Fett.

Oh god. I can’t even think of something for them lol

Yoda gotta be raisin bread.

ENOUGH

NO

do grand moff tarkin.

The last one got me.

I CAN’T

B R E A T H E

XD

i was mildly amused until the last one, at which point i broke

The post of legend has come again

[►]

I FUCKIN HATE/LOVE THIS

Short comic, while I work on something bigger on the side. It is nevertheless a very important topic. A lot of seabirds die because they eat plastic. They feed their chicks with the waste. It’s really tragic.

I laughed way too hard at this

in case anyone is looking through the notes trying to find the original artist it’s will mcphail !! feel free to check out his site but also here are some other things he made too !!

OOOHHH CLICK ON THAT LINK THIS GUY IS FUCKING GREAT

HOLY SHIT

this guy GETS IT

In case it wasn’t clear…

IN CASE IT STILL WAS NOT CLEAR

The best part is the fact that out of the two of them Martha Stewart was the one who went to prison.

Wait…what?

Wiiiiild. He did commit murder (in self defense - no judging) and America‘s Best Housewife was sent to jail because of insider trading, securities fraud, obstruction of justice and conspiracy. This is wiiiiiild 😄😄😄

also he has every right to make fun of kanye west considering snoop has had a successful career for about two decades including his own cookbook and appearing in movies whereas kanye is a flat earther who had to crowdfund another album because he ran out of money despite kim kardashian being with him, not having the money to produce another album should be the metric when you know you can tell a musician has failed somewhere in either money management or actually being a musician rather then a famous trainwreck

snoop dogg is a good man who loves cooking, nature, and supporting the dreams of young children in poverty. kanye west helped get trump elected.

Snoop also coaches underprivileged kids football and takes a 6-month break from smoking every time he does so.