I Might Be Stupid

reblog to make someone bisexual

will probably post a longer review once im done but all you horny freaks (affectionate) should pre-order @natalieironside s new erotica novel In The Court of the Nameless Queen if you like rugged transfemme girlbosses and can stomach said girlboss getting dicked down by a big spider lady. bonus points if youre into it.

:3

Oh hey i actually still recommend this to my friends all the time so ill go ahead and give it a brief follow-up like i said i would.

I came to this book for the monsterfucking but actually quickly fell in love with the relationship dynamics of the characters. Better than anything else I have yet read, ms. ironside here writes the joy of messy queer relationships and Gender Shit without lingering too long in the expected and drawn out heartache.

I'll quit dancing around the point: Freydis fucks a lot. she fucks her friends and the woman who comes to be her partner and also becomes a consort for a big eternal spider queen, and deftly navigates the bundles of insecurities that come from that. It's a book that's erotic first, but doesn't forget its characters in the process. Even big strong warrior ladies get dysphoric, get anxious about what they mean to their partners. And even a central love interest in a book about getting pumped full of spider eggs can look at that and say "well, thinking about that too long will make me throw up but im so happy for you sweetie."

One last hurrah for the Nameless Queen, a book that genuinely helped me a ton with being more comfortable in my sexuality and navigating my own relationships, and also takes itself lightly enough that even if you arent into piss you'll appreciate the setup for a cheap joke.

oh golly <3

Little ascii creatures are so so good and important

Y'know. Can't remember the last time I saw a dickbutt.

Wait, it got better.

He does this a lot, to my deep surprise in undergrad:

For reference, the reason nobody likes this book and you can press tofu with it is that it’s about 1600 pages long.

It’s also, by all accounts, the origin of Cousin Throckmorton

reading a textbook for class and i’m going insane. why is this just poetry. what. this is a STEM class what’s going on.

HELLO????? HELLO?????

no one can write truthfully about evolution and leave out the poetry, etc.

"Isn't it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal" I mean, there's a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn't have enough poison in it.

Humans have a really weird mix of mundane superpowers.

We're not fast and don't have a lot of natural weaponry but we're bizarrely tolerant to a broad range of toxins to the point that one toxin is considered a morning necessity for some to perform at work. Gotta love us.

in honor of finally finishing the terror I would like to share my favorite r/relationship_advice post of all time

I’ve suggested arctic themed role play but she says ‘don’t worry about it’

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOBAW

[VERY SMALL VOICE] foobaw!

the only thing in our new apartment so far

What else do u need

fuck it, you’re all fox girls now. get fox’d

AND GET GIRL’D TOO

In complete seriousness, they need to make laws about ads that say they can take no more than one, maybe two, clicks/taps to close/skip. No more "wait 10 seconds until you can skip the video, wait 10 seconds until you can skip the fake playable ad, wait 5 seconds until you can close the 'download now' overlay, puts up a half-screen in-app appstore pop-up (which at least you can close immediately)." This should literally be illegal to do.

Edit: this is blowing up so I just wanted to add (haha ad) that this was my "reasonable request" I also think there should be way more and way stricter laws around all advertising in general. I think most advertising as we know it today should be abolished.

alton brown: contestants, you have precisely one hour to assemble a dish using only one ingredient (he takes the cover off of the sliver platter to reveal a sad looking bag of pepperoni)

bald chef jeff: ok, so right away i’m thinkin pepperoni pizza. so i go to the pantry to get myself some bread, but there was a rabid dog waiting for me within, so i instantly closed the door before i was mauled and killed by this rabid dog. so my second idea was to assemble a favorite of mine: a pepperoni geyser. now in order to make a pepperoni geyser, you need a floating point unit and a pepperoni propulsion device, which can easily be assembled by [REDACTED BY US GOVERNMENT] so right away i grab the ice cream machine and [REDACTED BY US GOVERNMENT] and that should do it.

alton brown: 3, 2, 1! time’s up, chefs! chef dianne, what have you prepared for us today?

chef dianne: well today, i have prepared for you a dish we always used to make back home in louisana. it’s called “stacks”

(it’s just a stack of pepperoni)

alton brown: revered food columnist Vito Scaletta, what do you think of the “stacks” chef dianne cheyenne has prepared for you today?

revered food columnist vito scaletta, without taking a bite of his stack: i like it. it brings me back to my poker days, makes me feel like i’m winnin’ big!

tonight on the decks we’ve got DJ Papal Schism

Ugh I hate this guy. Let's set up our own dj booth and sound system instead

I hear the city of Avignon has the perfect venue

DJ Antipope gets really mad if you call him DJ Antipope

Logging onto Tumblr

It might seem a bit mad, but there’s nothing wrong with using toilets as Transportation…

…if you end up…

…in a magical place….

…full of like-minded and diverse peoples.

saw someone refer to not knowing how to keep track of your money as "girl math" ......why are we in this weird era of treating women like idiots but repackaging it to sound cute and quirky. We All Need To Stop

Mimic Octopus has had enough of Dancing Crab’s shenanigans

darn dancing crabs and their jazz crab hands

‘HELLO MY BABY HELLO MY H-“ “NO”

i cant control my hand suddenly

Everyone has seen this post, right? Right?