Solar King

fenris hawke

㋡🥀

also literally fucked a man so hard yesterday that today i found pieces of my bed on the floor

I read this too fast and thought it said “pieces of him on the floor”

when a woman puts her everything into an outfit and her face is shiny like a disco ball and she layered her fav perfume with oil and then her bf puts on some shorts and a shirt like u better put on a fucking pink wig and lace panties im so mad at you rn

"cgi animators should strike next" "film crews should strike next" I think everybody in the world should all agree to stop working at the same time.

begging people to understand that there's a difference between getting into handicrafts as a hobby and being forced to engage in constant busywork for the sake of persistence. yes I'm sure you enjoy weaving. im not sure you'd enjoy it if it was all you did every day to keep a family of fourteen clothed while they work fields. and I'm sure they'd enjoy gardening in their free time too, but after a few years of ploughing stones under the sun, they'd probably also wish they could just buy stuff from a store. cottagecore fantasies aren't reality, and just because peasants had a better class position than you do doesn't mean their lives were better than yours are now.

I STEPPED OUTSIDE OF THE FRONT DOOR OF MY OWN HOME ONLY TO FIND THE DEER THAT TRIED TO KICK MY ASS LAST YEAR STANDING RIGHT THERE IN MY FRONT YARD. BOLD AS BRASS.

AM I NOT SAFE ANYWHERE ANYMORE

for those of you who were not here last year: this deer is the most obnoxious, unnatural red-orange color I’ve ever seen, only appears when it’s raining, and once chased me a quarter mile through the woods. her name is Hot Cheeto Hatred and she is my nemesis

dude, i think that’s a fairy

I remember in my Arabic class we were going over the alphabet and the teacher was like there’s no ‘P’ etc and this white girl was like wait what but my names Paige and my teacher was like lol then we’d pronounce it as beige and she was so offended I’m crying thinking about it

One of my mom’s friends, Hugh, went to France and they had a lot of trouble pronouncing his name because the entire thing was silent.

salut je m'appelle [REDACTED]

lol when I lived in France my host family had a friend names Hugh. We saw him and his family a lot.

They pronounced it “oog” and I didn’t know until the day before I left France that his name was Hugh. I just thought he had some weird caveman nickname 😭

that is hands down the funniest addition to this post

you ever take a uquiz and realize halfway through that you don’t respect the author and their opinion is useless to you

everyone shut up except this person

reblog if you wear glasses. too many mutuals don't know they have glasses wearers in their midsts

personally, i think we should stop having stupid corset discourse on this website and talk more about fashion from the ancient minoan civilization

the older i get the more sensitive i become to warm genuine words, like wow you really think that kindly of me? hold up, lemme cry

Making a Selection From the Sock Drawer

I'm sorry, but, "You can't go through life trying to avoid a broken heart. If you do, it'll break from loneliness anyway," is entirely too profound a statement to be made by Dr Julian Bashir while talking to Odo in the middle of his James Bond LARP.

in the evil world beanie babies would be called meanie babies

i love that i can just start off sentences with phrases like “in the evil world” and not elaborate at all, because people just get what i mean. like yeah yeah, the evil world, we all know it. the world thats just like ours but evil. we’re all familiar. 

the gimmick blogs are like tumblr’s rogue gallery. yes we’ve got some heroes, yes we’ve got some villains, but more importantly if you look over here you will see some freak who devotes all their time to counting the number of “t’s” in a post

T Count: 15

Letter Count: 198

Your T Percentage: 7.58%

Average T Percentage: 6.95%

You used the letter T 1.09 times as much as average!

YOU EXIST???

Sometimes you create a guy and it turns out they already exist