Here are the instructions since people keep asking!
Holy fuck
Yes I needed these in my life thank you
How much does a “stick” of butter weigh?
One stick is 4 ounces, or half a cup, or a quarter of a pound.
oh it totally does, but you can’t hear it because space is a vacuum and sound can’t travel through a vacuum!
and that’s a good thing,
constantly. all the time, even at NIGHT. there would be no escape.
this is simply terrifying. how do you erase knowledge please ?
NASA actually recorded the sun, if you want to hear it:
And they recorded the planets too:
so, the sun and the earth sound about how i would’ve expected, and a lot of other planets just make strong wind sounds which is perfectly reasonable but venus sounds like pure dread?!?! WHY IS SATURN SCREAMING?!? pluto isn’t bad and is actually kinda nice but it’s very strange to me too like Why Does It Do That. jupiter is super chill 10/10. pluto and jupiter need to collab i would buy that album
oh, fuck, guys, you know what this means? it means the ancient world was right about the music of the spheres.
What’s going on with Mercury, Venus, and Saturn
@hphorrorfest || official masterpost || AO3 || ∑= 22 fics + 2 arts The Mods : @heyitsamorette & @writcraft + Banner © : @procoffeinating
1. Against the dying of the light by @bangyababy [E, 17k]
The Rage is a rare dark creature that feeds off of its victims deepest fears. When Harry discovers one is attached to Draco Malfoy, he refuses to leave his side until they can defeat it, even if that means facing the Rage himself.
2. The Apple Tree by @foularcadebanana [E, 8k]
Harry’s breath caught in his throat as his wand automatically lit up. “Lumos,” a familiar female voice lightly whispered in his ear and then giggled, making Harry shut his eyes tightly. It was a dream, it was just a dream. It wasn’t real, it couldn’t be. He was just having a nightmare, just imagining things that were happening inside his own head. “Of course it’s happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean it’s not real?”
3. Distortion by @dorthyanndrarry [M, 8k]
Harry wakes in darkness. A darkness that goes on and on without end. He can’t see or feel, he doesn’t know what’s happened. All he can do is hold on, replaying his memories to keep him sane. Until it’s over. Until he can go home again.
4. Don’t Ruin A Perfect Thing by @thepansypxrky [M, 9k]
After the battle, everything seemed fine. Until Harry woke up one morning to find his scar a blooded mess upon his forehead, and growing with each day. This is what happens when a horcrux splinters inside of you. This is what happens when you want something so badly that everything becomes simple.
5. Dress You Up (in My Love) by @nerdherderette [M, 2k]
Draco had always been known for his beauty.
6. Flicker by @drarrymylove [E, 11k]
Harry has an argument with Draco but places a very high regard on his privacy. Instead of making a scene, thus feeding the vultures of the media, he stays calm and sits down for a drink in a bar. Harry never makes it home that night. He quickly loses control of the situation. With no access to his magic, he is left in the hands of a man he just met.
7. Poetic Justice by @heyitsamorette [E, 10k]
Someone is finding elaborate, poetic ways to murder people who went unpunished for their crimes in the second Voldemort war.
8. When Death Comes by @kedavranox [M, 4k]
There is little you can do to live when Death wants you all for his own…
IT’S HERE, EVERYBODY!!! And it’s long! Thank you so so much to everyone who sent in their favorite fics written in 2018! To make this easier to navigate, I’ve created categories that make sense to me based on this collection of fics — obviously many fit into multiple categories, but I tried my best to place them accurately! I had so much fun looking through these and talking to everyone about their favorite fics, and I’m already super excited to do this again next year!! :D
Note that all recs were written by the person who submitted each fic, and they are in no particular order within their categories :)
ENJOY!
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The Nightmare Club by Elle Gray (85K)- Hermione and Ron are going back to Hogwarts to do N.E.W.T.s, Ginny isn’t. Harry hasn’t decided, until he has, in front of the Wizengamot and now he’s responsible for Malfoy as well. A tale of enemies who learn to get along, get it wrong and get it on. Everything is purple, some things are on fire and no-one is sleeping properly. But don’t worry, there’s tea! Wishing you could curl up on a purple couch in an eighth year common room stocked with hundreds of varieties of tea and eavesdrop on our favorite Hogwarts kids as they attempt to adjust to a normal school year? If you love awkward miscommunications, snuggling, open minded acceptance, kind-hearted friends, and—of course—mutual pining, this fic is for you.
Sex and The Art of Castle Maintenance by birdsofshore (15K)- “Come on, boys,” Zabini drawled. “You’re only delaying the inevitable.” Trouble always had a way of finding Harry, and eighth year was obviously going to be no exception. The antagonism, tension, and heat leaps off the screen, and I could NOT put this story down.
To Hurt and Heal by @cassisluna (21.5K)- They say that everybody who gets out of Azkaban comes out a little mad. After the war, Draco Malfoy spends three months in Azkaban. He just wants to go insane in peace, but Harry Potter finds that he, inexplicably, still can’t leave Draco alone. I went into this expecting angst, but by the end I got Eighth Year fluff and a whole lot of eating breakfast. Can’t say I didn’t love it.
Orbit by HenryMercury (52.5K)- “The classical problem of celestial mechanics, perhaps of all Newtonian mechanics, involves the motion of one body about another under the influence of their mutual gravitation.” *They don’t like each other. They’re not friends. There’s not even a ceasefire of any sort because they’re fighting as much as ever—but there’s definitely something different about it. An added layer of self-awareness they don’t dare identify, but which colours every Scared, Potter? and Do your worst; each You wouldn’t dare and Then prove it. 8th year fic that does such a fabulous job of bringing Harry and Draco together, that makes their pairing so realistic, even non-drarry shippers would be able to see the appeal.
Once Upon a Time by @fantom-ftnoise (12.5K)- This is the story of Hansel & Gretel - er, that is, Harry & Draco. A wonderful retelling of Hansel and Gretel, with amazing (and delightfully creepy) sensory descriptions, humour, nail-biting tension and a glorious happy ending.
Eighteen Kisses by tigersilver (10K)- Harry is being targeted by a very determined and wily Malfoy, a Malfoy with sly hands and a sweet, sweet mouth. The story features adorably fluffy Draco and insanely flustered Harry, with chocolate and sweet kisses
It takes 36 Questions to fall in love by @gnarf (14K)- After returning to Hogwarts for their 8th year, Harry and Draco can’t seem to stop fighting, much to the irritation of staff and students alike. Their last fight escalated and Harry and Draco are forced to room together by a pretty angry Headmistress. They will have to stay in their new quarters until they overcome their differences. But it wouldn’t be McGonagall if she didn’t have a plan. To help them achieve this goal (and to save everyone else from going crazy because of them) she gave them a charmed parchment that will ask a series of personal questions. Over the next couple of days they’ll learn much more about each other than they could ever have imagined. A precious they-finally-start-understand-eachother story that left me feeling fuzzy and happy
Oblivious by lealamalfoy (@gregqoyle) (17.5K)- Harry doesn’t believe his Amortentia’s scent is correct, and starts questioning the potion and his feelings. Of course Malfoy, of all people, is the one to answer these questions Harry’s lack of communication with the female population and Draco’s lack of communication with Harry is infuriating to new levels
Heart of Silver/Heart of Gold by @lettersbyelise (54.5K)- Draco Malfoy, a young demon specialising in school bullying, has lived hundreds of uneventful lives. Until his world is turned upside down by his newest assignment a few days before Christmas: to get rid of 8th year classmate Harry Potter, Defeater of Dark Lords and thorn in the side of all things evil. Trouble is, Draco’s world has been upside down for a while… ever since he started having very human feelings for a certain bespectacled Gryffindor. It’s a slow burn fic where Draco is a demon sent to torture and kill Harry buuuuut feelings are involved; also there’s a Niffler names Jeff and some very amusing Ron moments!
Ten Thousand Reasons Why Not by @lqtraintracks (8.5K)- Harry and Draco are stand-ins for the usual witch who gives the workplace harassment and sexual consent talk to the Auror trainees. Amazingly funny and sexy fic, featuring public UST, great dialogue and banter, and smut to die for.
Changeling by Obscurus343 (86K)- The assignment seems to be an excuse to get the Boy Who Lived away from the press for a while – Head Auror Savage is human, after all. But when they arrive to Barebone Castle, Aurors Potter and Malfoy realize that something sinister may indeed be going on. It’s terrifying. It’s cursed. It’s some next level freaky shit that nobody can explain. But not to worry! Two lovestruck idiots are on the case. warm and funny, with a wonderfully crafted cast, spooky mystery and more handholding and cuddling than your heart can take
Cold Like Fire by @queenofthyme (12K)- Head Auror Harry Potter had no problem with mandatory consent training for his team. He’d actually been looking forward to it, that is, until he discovered who the teacher was. Now, he had no idea how he was going to get through the training without throwing a hex at Draco Malfoy. Or a punch. This fic is absolutely hilarious and full of so many wonderful drarry-y moments!
The Partner, the Rival and the Very Big Case by oceaxe (24.5K)- When Harry and Nott are paired up to go undercover as fake boyfriends, Draco is disappointed not to get the assignment. It’s just professional jealousy that’s making him feel so upset. Obviously. He’s engaged to be married to Astoria, after all.But when he walks in on Nott kissing Harry for ‘practice’ and has a wild magic outbreak, he starts to think that something else might be going on. Is Nott right? Is Draco a homophobe? Or is there… just possibly… another explanation? Funny as hell and sexy too, it features a Draco grappling with his attraction to Harry, his jealousy regarding him, and his own sexuality, when their partnership gets split up for a case.
Cabin in the Forest by @justdrarryme (23K)- Of course Harry would get partnered with Malfoy when Ron leaves the Aurors, nothing in his life could ever be easy. What he hadn’t counted on though were his feelings for the other man. Or, Harry and Draco get trapped in a Bundling Bed and are forced to work their shit out. The art that this fic is based on (by ano-ka-ba) is incredible, and the way these two get out of their predicament is hot as hell.
Still Catch The Tide by @dwell-the-brave, art by Razielim and Apriicat (57K)- When a ravaged body is found on Blackpool beach front, newly partnered Aurors Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are sent to investigate. This is a make-or-break case for Harry - solve the case and not scare his partner away, or risk his career. But when another body appears, and another, this mystery goes far deeper than either of them could have imagined. from Big Bang, this Auror partners casefic has suspense, rich writing with a thread of melancholy, and gorgeous art.
In Our Blood by @secretsalex (38K)- Draco is an accomplished pure-blood curse breaker, and Harry is tasked with accompanying him on his latest job—cleaning up the Van Boer mansion, which has been under a devastating fertility curse for seven generations. reading this is like watching a gorgeously shot, terrifying horror film. Don’t let that scare you off - it’s compelling and will leave you thinking about it long after you close the tab.
Little Compton Street (One Rainy Night in Soho) by @writcraft (65.5K)- Draco is lonely, Harry hates the press and it won’t stop raining in London. Harry discovers a magical street that’s close to disappearing forever and Draco realises he’s one rainy night in Soho away from finding everything he’s been searching for. This fic is a BEAUTIFUL ode to LGBT culture and community, and was so so moving in addition to being an extremely entertaining read with a great relationship between Harry and Draco
Rookie Moves by Elle Grey (60K)- So the war’s over and Harry’s a Rookie Auror, and everything seems… fine? I mean, he’s single, his life is mostly work and he hasn’t been out in ages and he’s tired and annoyed most of the time, and he should probably be a bit more social, but the last time he kissed a girl he had to Obliviate her… but that’s normal, right? And then Robards throws him a file, yells at him a bit and he finds himself guarding Malfoy of all people, and maybe that little feeling in his gut he thought he’d disproved as indigestion once and for all…. maybe was something else. Something lots gayer. A tragically under appreciated coming out fic that legit made me laugh so hard I cried.
Around You Moves by ignatiustrout (29.5K)- Harry knew Draco was gay when he invited him to move in. He’s never had a problem with this. So why does he feel so weird about Draco bringing men home all of a sudden? a fabulous fic in which Harry thinks he’s homophobic when he hates seeing Draco with other men … and then he realizes a few things about himself ;)
Harry Potter and the Bisexual Awakening by @writcraft (23K)- Harry is perfectly content being single, heterosexual and living in Godric’s Hollow with his very clingy rescue dog, Snitch. When Draco Malfoy turns up on Harry’s doorstep demanding that Harry teach him how to drive, things quickly become a lot more complicated. Funny, sharply-written and sexy, HPatBA has everything I love about reading drarry (snark and UST, fantastic prose, emotional connection and hot sex) but brings an awesome new perspective to coming out, in queer fic.
When You Kiss Me (What a Lovely Way to Burn) by @femmequixotic (22K)- A drag fairytale of New York in which Draco wears red lipstick and Potter can’t get enough A fantastic piece of writing that explores a genderqueer Draco, working at a drag club in New York, where he sees Harry for the first time in years. (note from chibi: THIS FIC IS SO BEAUTIFUL IT WILL GIVE YOU A SEXUAL AWAKENING AND I WANT TO HOLD IT CLOSE FOREVER)
Kill, Fuck, Marry by @lettersbyelise (12.5K)- Malfoy leans toward him with a baleful look. “I do believe Pansy Parkinson, my best friend, paid you to spend the evening with me. It’s my birthday, Potter. So you’re going to get off your Gryffindor arse, and you’re going to dance with me. I want to dance. I want to win. I want that bloody trophy on my shelf before the end of the night.” Harry and Draco unexpectedly meet again on Draco’s birthday, years after their last encounter. Incredulity, banter, witty conversation, gin and tonics and impromptu dancing ensue. It’s only natural, of course, that Draco would expect his birthday night to finish with a bang… Perfectly in-character dialogue and great heat during what starts as an awkward, unintended date between Draco and Harry. Two Truths and all those Hidden Lies by @keyflight790 (7.5K)- It didn’t matter whether Draco knew about the Polyjuice or not; nor did it matter what face Harry deigned to hide behind in the club. Draco could spot Potter a mile away. Polyjuice could change his face. It could change the way his hair sat along his scalp, and the color of his eyes, and the shape of his lips. It could change his height and the way his muscles rippled beneath his shirt. It could change the swell of his arse, the length of his… Not that Draco was thinking of that. The fact that Draco can recognize Harry even without his awful glasses and stupid scar warms my heart every time.
Brick by Brick by @agentmoppet (8K)- There’s something between the two of them, something that builds beneath the smoky lights of the club and grows stronger during midnight conversations held on a rooftop high above the streets of London. But Draco wants to wait. deals beautifully with consent and all the waiting the two men go through to build something that is not just sex.
this is true love y’all (x) | follow @the-movemnt
😂
❤️
pls let this be the start of a trend
retweet this and your dream job will come into your life
ok y'all this is crazy i reblogged this today and i just got offered a job. what the fuck
Worked last year. Give it a whirl, kids.
I have too much at stake
May the 10 of Pentacles bless your account with more money than you can spend. 💵✨
Omg this actually works!!! Thank you 10 of Pentacles!!!
I could seriously use this money right now….
Please give me my refund of 400$ soon…
I feel obligated to reblog this every time it shows up in my dash
No bragging, just 100% floored and grateful. Work hard, maintain a positive attitude, and believe that anything can happen.
So I reblogged this exactly a week ago because I thought it was funny and uh lo and behold, a family friend wrote me a big ol’ check just to help me out of a tough financial spot AND my bank refunded me $32 for fees they’d originally taken out. SO UH YEAH. Reblogging this again in hopes that it brings equally good fortune to my followers.
Sure why not? Jobs bring in money and prosperity…
Apparently I’m on tumblr radar?? Dahjsduhdsghsdghdsghgsdgys (sobbing profusely what a day) IM SO SUPRISED AND HONORED???
Also I meant to set up pre-orders and such (my test print arrived) for my drarry minizine (that set of 7 I did, including some drabbles) BUT in light of the tumblr apocalypse… I’m holding off on it. Let me know if you’re interested though ❤️
(apologies in advance for shoddy quality photos… my phone is old)
My phone glitched out as I was in the middle of reading a particular fan fiction, and I absolutely MUST finish it. However, I cannot find it at all! Please, if anyone could help me, I would be GREATLY indebted!
It’s post-war Drarry where Harry’s been living in America for quite some time and ends up returning to Britain because Gringotts discovers a lost Potter vault. Draco works with marriage/house bonding magic (there’s an actual term for it but it’s completely escaped my mind) and he’s drawn in to help with Lilly’s and Jame’s unstable wedding rings.
Please! Any help! The fact that it’s an unfinished read is really bugging me. I ALWAYS finish a story when I start it.
Take Me Home, Country Roads by John Denver except it’s playing from your neighbor’s radio that you can hear from your back porch, which you sit out on to relax in spite of the loud buzzing from the lightbulb and the hoards of moths that flock to it on summer evenings like this.
• fit sheets
• remember appointments
• butter bread
Things that I certainly cannot do with all my power:
• fit sheets
• remember appointments
• bUTTER bREAD
This is the money Patrick. Reblog so money will come your way
“I’m getting back in line.”
OKAY but i just reblogged this last night and guess what i got today from my workplace’s self-audit!
THANK YOU PATRICK FOR FREE MONEY
BLESS ME PATRICK
PATRICK I HAVE NEVER STRAYED YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVED YOU
*rolls sleeves* aight dude lets get me some money
Can i just *Gets in line*…there
Y'all I reblogged this and got $240 in tips in one day at work so 🤔🤔🤔
Honestly I know it’s kinda silly…but weirdly… It does seem to work
Im getting in line!
PUT ME IN LINE
fuck it I’m a broke ass bitch got nothing to lose
Reblog it into existence
All 2018
I needed this
Okay so crazy shit tho, I reposted this YESTERDAY right, today I had an interview for a job. Got the job AND he recommended me for another that pays twice as much. Iont know bout y’all but this is legit asf for me.
It’s real energy in this post. Gods speed @jessiemaehyemduh
I really need this position it will help me out so much. I basically got the job I’m just waiting for the ‘you can start on this date’ email
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
pls pls pls
It’s incredibly annoying when someone compliments me cause I can’t help but go ‘no I am not beautiful you fool do not insult me so’ but at the same time be like ‘I’m an awesome human being with a dash of comedic genius’. What is this and why must compliments exist???
Giving you 2 prompts but you can pick one if you'd prefer! 44-drarry, 50-larry xoxo
OOOo THANK YOU!!! xox
Okay, I think I’m going to do just one tonight and I’ll do one tomorrow! (As always, these are SOOC!) I feel like I should actually put a little warning on this - there’s no graphic description of violence but there is discussion of violence. There is no MCD but this might be unsettling so don’t read if you don’t think you’re in a good place!! (And, err, sorry @homosociallyyours, the next one will be MUCH more fun and quite possible smutty, I promise! This just went dark!)
44. “If you die, I’m gonna kill you.” (Drarry)
The alarm sounds throughout St. Mungo’s, and Draco flinches, freezes for about one second and then runs, tossing the remains of his sandwich into the trash as he goes. That’s the alarm for all MED (Magical Emergency Department) healers, where Draco happens to be second in the chain of command, serving under the most talented healer he’s ever seen, and after four years of healer training and 15 years in the field, that’s saying something.
He races into the department and skids to a halt next to her.
“What have we got?”
Hermione looks concerned. “Multiple injuries incoming. Aurors and civilians.” She swallows. “It was a bomb, Draco. A muggle bomb. I’ve called in some contacts from St. Georges, but this is going to be overwhelming. It was a protest for that Auror recruiting event.”
Drarry + umbrella
Draco thinks they’re weird, but he carries one around all the time because he’ll be damned if he lets his hair get wet. A charm to keep everything dry would look suspicious in the muggle world after all, and that’s where he spends almost all of his time after the war. He knows people have a right to hate him, but that does not meant that he’ll frequently give them the opportunity to spit in his face.
How different that is for Harry, who also avoids the wizarding world now, though for quite different reasons. The press is still crazy about him, and follows his everywhere he goes. At one point it gets so crazy that he leaves The Leaky Cauldron without as much as his coat, desperate to get away from the flashing camera’s and screaming reporters. Pouring rain or not, he has to get out of here.
That is the moment he bumps into Draco Malfoy, clad in a long emerald coat and carrying a black umbrella. The thing is large enough to fit two people, but only just. Harry doesn’t think of that when he bounces off of Malfoy and falls to the street though. He just thinks finally, freedom, and stayes put on the ground. His shirt and jeans get soaked, but he doesn’t care. He just looks up at the sky as he tries to catch his breath.
That is, until the person he literally ran into leans over him with his big umbrella.
“Are you alright Potter?” To Harry’s surprise Malfoy’s voice isn’t haughty, or snobby, because Malfoy knows a panic attack when he sees one, and would never pester someone about that. Not even Potter. Or maybe especially not Potter. “Do you have somewhere to go?”
Harry thinks about both of those questions for a while, before deciding that the answer to both is no. He Isn’t alright, hasn’t been in a while now, and he doesn’t have anywhere to go. Grimmauld Place depresses him, and his friends would fuss too much. Besides, they all live in magical areas. The press might find his again. He tells Malfoy so.
“Can I offer you some tea then?” Slightly insecure, Draco holds out his hand for Harry to take. “I live close by, in a muggle flat. It’s no trouble.”
To Harry’s own surprise, he finds himself agreeing to go with Draco, and he enjoys the tea and their conversation more than he has enjoyed anything for a long time. When it’s time for him to head back home, in one of Draco’s sweaters and fancy coats that Draco insists on lending him, Draco also presses the unbrella in his hands.
“In case it rains again. And if not, it’s quite practical to hit people with too, when they’re being annoying. Which, let’s be honest, they always are. People are awful.”
“Some more than others.” Harry responds, and they both know Draco isn’t some. He smiles at the blonde and pulls him into an awkward hug. “Thanks for the tea Malfoy.”
Malfoy smirked, a light blush on his high cheekbones. “Don’t mention it. You’re not nearly as awful as you used to be.”
“I know. Otherwise you would have hit me with your umbrella.” And with that, and a wink, Harry left. But he’d return many many times, once even because he hit a journalist over the head with an umbrella and the public opinion didn’t like that too much, and enjoy much more than just tea there.
However, he never did gave back that umbrella. He didn’t have to, since it was half his own after they got married anyway.
Send me a ship/brotp and a word and I’ll give you my thoughts!
It’s the year of the dog so if this isn’t a good year then none of them will be
this one time a friend of mine gave me a sarcastic answer and as a response, half of me wanted to reply with ‘fuck you’ and the other half wanted ‘fight me’, but somewhere along the way it became twisted and in the end i blurted out, loudly and confidently, ‘fuck me’.
i just kind of ‘...i fucked up.’
I don’t know about you guys but I’m thoroughly intrigued about how that went down
