hang on I gotta post something two weeks late and in poor taste

obsessed with this version of the salute emoji where it looks like it's getting gently stroked on the head

My animal

me wearily opening twitter: please show me just one nice thing for once

twitter: baldur's gate 3 lets you fuck a bear

me: you know what? good enough

If you use self-deprecating humor, that's fine. It's not my cup of tea, but it's fine.

If you use self-deprecating humor AND you're depressed or have a poor self image, I strongly suggest switching to hyperbolic self-aggrandizing humor. I truly believe it's 100000% healthier long term AND I think it's much, much funnier.

For example

*trips over a speck of dust*

Option 1: haha, I'm such a klutz, I'll probably break my neck opening a jar of pickles someday

Option 2: I AM THE MOST GRACEFUL PERSON WHO EVER LIVED YOU SAW NOTHING

reading gideon the ninth is like oh. i’ve just experienced the full spectrum of human emotion i can’t wait to read the next book. and then you read harrow and the only thing you feel is brain pain until you unlock those fucking shrimp emotions

overwatch is a silly piece of shit on its best days but its continued insistence that magic is real but only in japan is especially hysterical

hanzo and genji have haunted their hodgepodge of a narrative since 2016 with unambiguously magic powers in a soft-SF setting that went out of its way to conceptualise bogus technology like hard-light and biotics in order to fit its weirdness into some kind of "science" category. the fact they then didn't extend that consideration to hanzo and genji? they just left them as is? as witches? as fate-touched human vessels of ancient dragon spirits?? if genji wasn't a cyborg they could feasibly be minor sekiro bosses and that's weird dude!! and then kiriko gets released?? and these people had all the years in between ow1 and ow2 to find a way to hand-wave whatever weird shamanistic magic they accidentally let get into the game, and instead they make the only other japanese character a fucking spirit vessel as well. they doubled down. magic IS REAL in overwatch but ONLY on the BEAUTIFUL ISLANDS OF JAPAN, and no it's never ever going to be addressed because overwatch has as much coherent story as a themed puzzle page on the back of a kids cereal box. hysterical.

this also extends to the ability to wall climb

overwatch said if you are japanese you can do the following:

forgetting the fact that being a buddhist also gives you magic powers

zenyatta is specifically a civilian chassis but he can become invulnerable and throw balls at you

the point of overwatch is to say shinto-buddhism is the only correct religion i think

Now THIS is the Dragula babe content I WANT.

I’m crying this person is so hot

I need UK journalists to not show 43 degrees is not beach weather like people are gonna die

Americans do not interact

Im Australian, and 43C is NOT beach weather. That is VERY hot, even for us, but for the UK its apocalyptic. At 43C you should not even be going outside if you can help it, treating it like beach weather is a one way ticket to heatstroke.

I agree with not going outside for long periods of time but you will have to plan something to reduce the heat within your households. Especially if your house is designed to retain heat

Fans pointed at open windows will pull out hot air and allow it to circulate - don't put them IN the window, leave some room by the side for extra air to get drawn in.

If you can't afford cold packs (and if you can, stock up on some NOW), get some ziplock bags and freeze them, with wet washcloths or ripped up towel inside. You want them to be ready in the freezer when you need them. Wrap them in a tea towel and put them on your wrists and ankles.

A big bowl of ice water in front of a fan will blow cold air into the room and make a massive difference. Again, if you don't have ice cube trays get some and freeze them *now*, don't wait until you're already in trouble (although I am melting at quarter past nine but my thermoregulation is bollocks so I don't know if that's the heat or just the me). If you can't afford to get any, clean out empty yoghurt pots or Tupperware or whatever you have that can hold water. Even if you end up with a giant ice cube from a lunchbox, it'll help.

Even just opening two windows at a crack will allow some air circulation - I sometimes prop open my bedroom door and leave the bathroom door open, both windows are locked at a crack because of the cats but it creates a nice little line of wind along the landing.

If you're someone who needs something on them to sleep, take your duvet out of the cover and just use the cover.

Remember that water acts as a lens - you do NOT want to wear a wet t shirt in the burning sun. I did this when I was 8 and if I tan on my back you can still see the scars.

Read the instructions for sunscreen carefully, and use the highest spf you can find. Reapply as per the instructions. If you get burned, Malibu do an amazing aloe-based spray on after sun, I got mine from Savers for 3 quid and it lasts ages. I keep it and any other after sun in the fridge, which means it's incredibly lovely to put on. Aloe is magic for burns so definitely gravitate towards that if you can. My son got badly burned (he's ginger, he went to an outdoor pool and they forgot to give him sunscreen) and he's had 2 helpings of it and you wouldn't believe how much better he is (he couldn't even really wear a shirt).

Make sure your pets have plenty of fresh cold water to drink, and if they usually have dry food consider giving them some wet food for one of their meals (cats are notoriously not always great drinkers but wet food will get them some liquid). Keep the curtains and/or blinds closed in south-facing rooms. I have blackout curtains in the front room and the front bedroom (my son's) and they make a MASSIVE difference to the heat. Make sure pets have access to these cooler spaces if you can create them.

Keep oven/hob use to a minimum if you can. I like making a massive pot of something that can be reheated in the microwave if necessary - the oven especially adds a lot of heat. Or get some wraps and ham and cheese and eat those.

Cordial or fruit juice can be better than water if you're sweating a lot. Cordial is cheap as chips. Salty snacks are also good.

Go to Iceland and buy a billion lolly ices. It's especially a good way to make sure kids stay hydrated.

I realize op asked for Americans not to interact, and whether or not they're being cheeky, I feel obligated to reblog this to save lives.

That temperature is absolutely murder, even moreso with humidity.

Please, be safe and stay hydrated!

For reference, 43 degrees celsius is roughly equivalent to 109.4 degrees fahrenheit. That’s bad.

This is nearly DOUBLE the typical average temperature of the UK. I don't care if you grew up in Satan's asshole, if you woke up one day and it was twice as hot as it usually is, you're gonna have a bad fucking time. The infrastructure is not built for 40+ degrees, and with the government doing... The thing it's doing, I doubt they're gonna even bother to help people, so people need to see things like this post to be able to help each other instead.

Heads up UK folks, we're looking at hitting 40°C again in about two weeks. Now's a great time to prepare however you can, figure out what you can do to make things more bearable

Putting a wet tea towel in the freezer for 20 minutes (in a freezer bag so it didn't stick to anything) then tying it to my wrists/ankles helped a lot last year, so I'll share this post in the run up in case it helps anyone else

Keep an eye out for people struggling, including yourself

Framerate synced with a bird’s wings

Christ this is so fucking cool

I haven't been able to stop thinking about this. There's so much going on here. I genuinely love the conception of gender as mystic autodeism. Gender as divine microcosm. Gender as Great Work. It's gnostic, it's alchemical, it's got notes of bacchanalian worship of the body and the inherent magic of self-discovery. This but unironically.

Shoutout to transphobes for thinking gender is this fucking badass

Battle Couple Battle Round 2!

Caitvi (Arcane) VS Perc’ahlia (Critical Role)

okay i know arcane is great but have you considered. perc’ahlia have been in harmony from the start!! both players confirmed they’ve gotten along well since they met!! they’ve been a fighting, dynamic duo since the very beginning of their relationship!!! they’re the team sharpshooters, they’re always together in fights, and so often they’ll mirror each other by casting hunter’s mark and hex on the same enemy!!! they’re in sync and perfect partners in battle. they are THE long distanced battle couple <3

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

world heritage post

I know the joke is that Ghost Trick fans can't tell you why to play it, just that you should, but here's some spoiler-free reasons to play it:

@bagelrites

@nightrae it’s us

I mentioned shows with just one writer a few days ago & on that note shout out to Glee for having some of the worst continuity any show's ever had despite being written by just three people. Normally it takes too many cooks to spoil the broth but they needed just three people to manage a Christmas episode centering on the two Jewish characters bc they forgot they were Jewish, well done

Still the funniest article title a fan wiki's ever had

This show was written by three people

<33

is this orange or yellow.

its yellow you are all wrong i have decided just now

hey op, what does this say?

nice try but i’m not colorblind it says 71

Am I tripping?

Is that not 71?

You’re slightly colorblind, that is 74 and the color of the car is orange.

world heritage post

It’s orange

it’s literally 71

Bestie it’s 74

Y’all it clearly fucking says 21

where are you getting that from?

Babes it’s 81 what r yall seeing

its 74 bestie you might be colorblind

That 81 person can see shrimp colors

I took exactly the same image, increased the saturation, and shifted it to a part of the spectrum most people can see better.

For all your no-YOU-have-the-weird-color-vision argument-solving needs.

Also, the car is orange.

small comic illustrating my adventures in looking at potential college roommates