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n

@soakedinsoull

I'm an open book, I'm just difficult to read. My life is a total mess but whatever who gives a fuck.
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nakedly

My list of 5: 1) Sneak out in the middle of the night with someone you like. Drive to the middle of nowhere to simply watch the stars and the moon from the roof. Talk about the universe & everhthing in between. 2) Draw. Sculpt. Or write. Put your tangled thoughts into art. Show it to someone or hide it under your bed. 3) Put yourself first sometimes. Do what you want even if people tell you otherwise. Wear the clothes you want & listen to the music your heart desires. Don’t fall under pressure of pleasig others. 4) Spend 1 or 2 hours alone everyday. Go to a coffee shop & sit by the window. Bring your favorite book or look at the people surrounding you. 5)Go out at night. Dress up for once and make sure to feel beautiful and classy. There is just something strangely exciting about looking like you’ve got it all together but deep down you’re a nervous wreck.

instagram:@annikabansal

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you made me love you.

you came with your breakable smile, with your shining lips, with your soft hands, with your perfect dimples, with your dreamy eyes, and your warm heart to my life, out of nowhere you crashed into it. suddenly, your everything became my favorite, it was a surprise for me because i don't get this attached to someone that fast. you knew how vulnerable i was and you insisted on making me love you. you weren't ready neither was i, we were both dead inside but we relived each other. you made me live in a beautiful daydream, you made me forget about this shitty world, you gave me a reason to wake up every morning, but suddenly everything just disappeared, everything was gone by you leaving. all of a sudden you took everything away from me, and you took my soul with you. i lost everything i've been building with your existence, even my little heart pieces turned into ash, into dust. why did you make me love you if you were deciding on leaving? why did you make me love you if you will give up on me so easily? why did you make me love you if you were planning to live your life without me? why did you make me love you if you wanted someone else? why did you make me love you if you thought i wasn't enough? why did you make me love you if you can be happy away from me? why did you make me love you if everything we had meant nothing to you? why did you make me love you if you weren't ready for me? darling, this is nothing but heartbreaking. i was never a committed person, i was never the one who would talk about love and heartburning, you told me you will change my mind and trust me you did but you just proved me right. love is nothing but breaking hearts and getting hurt, i shouldn't change my mind, i shouldn't believe you because the same person who changed my mind and made me believe that love is worth it just proved how right i was from the beginning about being scared from it. now, you left me nothing to give, even to myself. you took everything that i spent my entire life getting it together, you took my happy soul and i don't think i will ever take it back from you because you were the only reason i had it. my dear, you made me love you with all my heart and now i just have nothing but a broken heart and sad eyes.

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2am; i'm done.

i'm tired of being silent, it hurts so much to feel this empty. i don’t want to be another sad poem that may lead to some light of connection. i don't want to be another burning letter that you can forget about. i don't want to be another lost memory that you will never remember. i don't want to be just another love disease you want to get rid of. i wish i could say something but i can't, i just can't. i give it my all but still it's not enough, it never is and i'm done. it's all about chances but this time i don't have any. i have nothing left to give to anyone, i'm such an empty soul. an empty soul with a heartache. love, i'm done.