just a reminder that you should ALWAYS pirate adobe its always morally correct
oops!
looks like i droped my chart of alternatives to adobe software!
how clumsy of me!
Note: I suggest Acorn instead of Pixelmator Pro on the Mac.
I appreciate this video a lot--people don't realize how important it is to start slow if you're trying to come back from a completely sedentary lifestyle, and they get really hurt as a result. Straining your muscles too much, too suddenly can land you in the E.R. and the wrong joint injury can permanently affect your mobility, so please start with absolute basics and easy stretches!
I spent last night looking at Neocities sites and here are my takeaways:
There's a real push to keeping the internet weird, open and less corporate-driven -- info on bypassing paywalls, protecting your data, archiving web media and basic coding/tech literacy.
(I found one tutorial on how to make a pop up that detects whether someone has an ad blocker and suggests they install one if they don't! Love that.)
There's also resources on finding the kind of internet that isn't the default experience anymore - alternate search engines I hadn't even heard of, human-made link lists and webrings. (Webrings! Turns out they never went away!)
If any of that sounds interesting to you, by the way - sadgrl.online has a lot of it and is possibly the best thing on the internet????
The "90's web" aesthetic is really fun and nostalgic, but I particularly loved seeing some people bring the better parts of the "modern internet" into it. What if we had weird, eye-searing personal sites BUT with plaintext alternatives for accessibility purposes? CW for flashing lights and unreality triggers?
Most of all, I'm honestly emotional about all the sites I found that were like, "hi! I'm 14 and this is my website where I talk about stuff I like haha."
It's so good that so many kids and teens who never experienced the "old internet" are still finding stuff like this and making their own weird stuff! Not just because weird websites are more fun, but because these skills are being passed down.
Anyway it's great and who knows maybe I'll make my own site sometime to keep horror media recommendations or something.
Phew. This one took, uh… a bit longer than expected due to other projects both irl and art-wise, but it’s finally here. The long-awaited domestic animal infographic! Unfortunately, I didn’t have enough space to cover every single domestic animal (I’m so sorry, reindeer and koi, my beloveds) but I tried to include as many of the “major ones” as possible.
I made this chart in response to a lot of the misunderstandings I hear concerning domestic animals, so I hope it’s helpful!
Further information I didn’t have any room to add or expand on:
A look at some men's hanfu particulars
English added by me :)
Mamianqun is the hottest item since 2023 and there are a lot of people, who have no understanding on hanfu, buy and wear mamianqun with some sort of white top. People who wear mamianqun in its originally intended way, as in the top covering the skirt, would even get questioned for wearing it the wrong way. Even I got questioned once.
This video exists probably because there is a "controversy" of people declaring that mamianqun is a man's wear, especially after that person in the video worn it as his fan presented it to him during an event. There are people who even advocate that men rocked the look better than women and are more suitable for Mamianqun because they have a flatter butt so the pleats won't be puffed / open. It is referred as "炸褶" in Chinese and it is originally a jk - Japan high school female uniform fashion - concept. Traditionally people doesn't care about it and for the last five or six hundred of years, the top was long enough to cover most of the skirt. And before that, there was also a phase where people purposely puffed up the pleats.
Declaring mamianqun is a men's wear is like saying Chinese men from the 30s were wearing Qipao. The looks are similar but they are not wearing the same thing. (Although one of the theories of the origin of Qipao is that women wants to wear clothes like men as a sign of gender equity because since about the middle of Han dynasty men's wear were signatured with a long robe which women's wear were in two pieces - top and bottom - and derogatory misogynistic terms had arose from this dressing norm. So that's why Qipao is also called Cheongsam - Cheongsam is also the name of the men's wear.)
Men could wear a mamianqun, but when wearing it, one should understand that those skirts, especially those ankle-length-or-more brocade skirt are women's wear. On the other hand, women had been wearing tang-style yuanlingpao but it is not introduced as "female wear" but "cross-dressing" because historically that was what happened. Women generally worn it with different hair style and shoes and many modern tang-style yuanlingpao are designed for female audiences (sizing, colours, prints, modeling etc). Modernly, women also wear yisan and other men's style but people don't introduce those clothing as women's wear.
tldr: This video exists because there are people who preached that mamianqun is a man's clothing and men rock this style better than women. Men can wear mamianqun but it shouldn't be advertised as men's wear, so people who doesn't know anything about hanfu won't accidentally cross-dressing.
Today I found out that yarners think crocheting socks is subversive and controversial and I just…on one hand, why the fuck not, I guess yarners are allowed to have their controversies, but on the other, how much time do you have in your FUCKIN DAY??
My main concern is how they would feel but Maggie u know yarn fandom gotta think about something while knitting five miles of stockingnette for a sweater
Look, you can’t just leave it at that, why is it subversive and controversial? *gets popcorn*
I mean, I’m taking this on good faith, and I’m not saying this is my own personal belief. I believe in all crafts.
But…the structure of the stitches and the resulting fabric is pretty different between crochet and knitting. You get different effects between them, which lends themselves to different crafts. And none of the effects of (most) crochet stitches lend themselves naturally to socks. You’re (usually) going to end up with something either stiff and bulky, or full of holes that will Not Feel Good to walk on. Whereas knitted socks will just…BE elastic and comfortable.
Sure you CAN do it. And there are people and patterns that do it well!!
But MOST crochet socks are a bit like calling this a bicycle
I mean… Okay? But people are going to Talk.
But this is BABY controversy, this is nothing. You haven’t even touched on the good shit like RHSS or that time the Olympic Committee dissed us.
Iiiinteresting. So one of those “just because you CAN doesn’t mean you SHOULD” things.
Also I know very little about the yarn fandom except for that bit where a woman had to fake her death and had a nervous breakdown over selling homespun/dyed yarn so like, I already have big expectations.
Was that the one that “died” of leukemia or the one that “died” of lupus, or the one that overdosed?
From what I know of the narrative as it was described to me, I want to say the one that overdosed, but I am intrigued and vaguely concerned that there are multiple distinct individuals the above situation could apply to.
the fake deaths thing: indie yarn dyer gets popular, gets overwhelmed by orders, can’t refund money because of shitty bookkeeping, decides faking online death is the only way out.
i’m sure some of them are unintentional rather than premeditated scammers but they’re all still thieving assholes who shouldn’t be running businesses and need to give all the money back.
the olympics commitee: ravelry, well-known knitting (fiber arts in general) site, held a contest they called the ‘ravelympics’ to drum up olympic support then get a cease-and-desist letter for copyright infringement, and the letter said that calling it that ‘denigrates the true nature of the Olympic Games’ and was ‘disrespectful to our country’s finest athletes’
except, you know, ravelry had like 2 million users who all, by nature of ravelry being a website, have basic tech literacy. the social media backlash was so bad that the olympics board had to make 2 official apologies because the first wasn’t good enough.
RHSS: Red Heart Super Saver is cheap Walmart-level yarn. some people hate it because it used to be just really fucking awful and they haven’t bothered updating their opinions. some people hate it because they hate non-natural yarns. some people hate it because they’re yarn snobs(which, btw, comes in two flavors: the disdainful assholes and the people who just don’t see the point if you have the money and don’t indulge yourself). a lot of people defend it because it’s cheap and widely locally available and honestly not that bad after a wash and some fabric softener.
crocheted socks: exactly what kaitoukitty said. people who crochet socks tend to either be new crocheters who are not aware crochet is not the best medium for socks or experienced crocheters who are pushing the boundaries of the medium.
babies on fire: i can’t believe we’re talking about yarncraft controversies and no one mentioned babies on fire. that’s my favorite controversy.
so when deciding what material to make baby blankets out of, in addition to considerations like softness, ease of washing, and allergy concerns quite a lot of people like to consider what would happen to the baby if the blanket was set on fire. yes, really.
wool has the problem of hand-wash only blankets for a new mother (superwash wool exists but that’s a whole ‘nother paragraph), allergy concerns, and also real fucking expensive if you want quality not-itchy-on-baby-skin wool. but pro-wool-blanket people insist that because wool actually resists being set on fire pretty well and also can self-extinguish, it’s the only sensible choice.
acrylic on the other hand is cheap and you can throw it in the washing machine, and while bad quality acrylics might be stiff and plastic-y they’re not itchy, but if it gets set on fire it will melt onto the baby’s skin. pro-acrylic people insist that if your blanket is on fire, you probably have bigger problems than what the blanket is made of.
wow I didn’t expect such a detailed response. thank you!
Fiber Arts Just Be Fucking Like That.
what hte FUCK
A couple more from Ravelry:
If I ask my mother she could probably give me more. These are just what I remember off the top of my head. I don’t knit or crochet (I do cross-stitch and don’t really interact with the wider community) but my mother runs a small yarn dyeing business and has been part of the community on the Internet for a LONG time before that so I get all the juicy details on the drama.
It’s worth noting that the founders of Ravelry, Cassidy and Jessica Forbes (both women) are married to each other; and Cassidy is trans.
I had no idea this was the drama I needed on my dash today
It’s nearly Cozy Things Knitted By My Mother season!!!!
(via @scoutdoesstuff)
1) Yeah I’m not necessarily the biggest fan of the change but the timing and number of TERFs make it either the TERFs co-opted an existing complaint made by people who liked ravelry but had physical issues with the new site, or it was entirely FABRICATED by TERFs to try to make the founders problematic bc one of them is trans.
2) oooo now I want to try making a slipper in Tunisian crochet because you’re right, it makes a much flatter, knit-like fabric that might be actually quite pleasant!
3) I assume it’s a collective word for both knitters and crotcheters, since both work with yarn but their crafts are quite different. It’s the easiest most intuitive word to refer to both groups at once.
I don’t understand… I grew up in crocheted socks… I mean, they were more like house slippers because we didn’t really wear them inside shoes, but still. What’s wrong with 덧 버선?
I love that this looped back after all that to absolve the crocheted socks.
Following a lot of the people who pushed hard against the changes at Rav with their website design (a lot of them are queer, disabled POC) I can pretty confidently say that TERFs latched on to that one to try to legitimize their own shitty reasons.
This change in approach really improved my fitness ability several years ago.
Instead of keeping my numbers (sets & reps) the same, I kept my intensity the same - fairly high.
In order to maintain this intensity, I would do fewer sets and use more harder variations as I got stronger. This gives us a clear path to progress!
Just some thoughts. Have a wonderful day!
“Sometimes, a person with ADHD can hit the do-or-die deadline and produce lots of high-quality work in a short time. A whole semester of study is crammed into a single night of hyperfocused perfection. Some people with ADHD create crises to generate the adrenaline to get them engaged and functional. The “masters of disasters” handle high-intensity crises with ease, only to fall apart when things become routine again. Lurching from crisis to crisis, however, is a tough way to live life. Occasionally, I run across people who use anger to get the adrenaline rush they need to get engaged and be productive. They resurrect resentments or slights, from years before, to motivate themselves. The price they pay for their productivity is so high that they may be seen as having personality disorders.”
Hi! Love your TikTok translations, they help me learn so much. Sorry if you've answered this before already, but as a language student myself, I was just curious about how you got so good at Chinese - is it a native language for you, or what's your background in using/studying it? Thank you!
I think I answered this a long time ago (like 2021 maybe) so I will just tell it again. It's kind of a longwinded boring post that's very self-centric (😬) and also probably not going to have any helpful advice to the average language learner, so I'm going to put it under a read more!
As Google has worked to overtake the internet, its search algorithm has not just gotten worse. It has been designed to prioritize advertisers and popular pages often times excluding pages and content that better matches your search terms
As a writer in need of information for my stories, I find this unacceptable. As a proponent of availability of information so the populace can actually educate itself, it is unforgivable.
Below is a concise list of useful research sites compiled by Edward Clark over on Facebook. I was familiar with some, but not all of these.
⁂
Google is so powerful that it “hides” other search systems from us. We just don’t know the existence of most of them. Meanwhile, there are still a huge number of excellent searchers in the world who specialize in books, science, other smart information. Keep a list of sites you never heard of.
www.refseek.com - Academic Resource Search. More than a billion sources: encyclopedia, monographies, magazines.
www.worldcat.org - a search for the contents of 20 thousand worldwide libraries. Find out where lies the nearest rare book you need.
https://link.springer.com - access to more than 10 million scientific documents: books, articles, research protocols.
www.bioline.org.br is a library of scientific bioscience journals published in developing countries.
http://repec.org - volunteers from 102 countries have collected almost 4 million publications on economics and related science.
www.science.gov is an American state search engine on 2200+ scientific sites. More than 200 million articles are indexed.
www.pdfdrive.com is the largest website for free download of books in PDF format. Claiming over 225 million names.
www.base-search.net is one of the most powerful researches on academic studies texts. More than 100 million scientific documents, 70% of them are free
Now that the quality of Duolingo has fallen (even more) due to AI and people are more willing to make the jump here are just some alternative apps and what languages they have:
Busuu (Languages: Spanish, Japanese, French, English, German, Dutch, Italian, Portuguese, Chinese, Polish, Turkish, Russian, Arabic, Korean)
Language Transfer (Languages: French, Swahili, Italian, Greek, German, Turkish, Arabic, Spanish, English for Spanish Speakers)
Glossika (Also a lot of languages, but minority languages are free)
*anecdote: I borrowed my brother's Japanese Pimsleur CD as a kid and I still remember how to say the weather is nice over a decade later. You can find the CDs at libraries and "other" places I'm sure.
Mango (Languages: So many and all endangered/Indigenous courses are free even if you don't have a library that has a partnership with Mango)
AnkiDroid: (Theoretically all languages, pre-made decks can be found easily)
AnkiApp: It's almost as good as AnkiDroid and free compared to the official Anki app for iphone
ChineseSkill (You can use their older version of the course for free)
Bunpo: (Languages: Japanese, Spanish, French, German, Korean, and Mandarin)
So apparently the pro-Tetris scene is exploding right now because a 13 year old nerd just reached the game's true killscreen for the first time ever
So, basically, for much of Tetris's history, people believed level 29 was the "last" level of Tetris, as the speed of the blocks would get so high that no human could do anything but lose; the blocks would go so fast that human hands physically could not control them. However, Tetris does not get any faster beyond that point, so if you're capable of playing level 29, you're capable of playing hypothetically infinitely.
Except Tetris, the original version for the NES, is not a hypothetical. It's a physical object, an item you can touch and hold, and it has limits. Many classic arcade-style video games have honest-to-god killscreens, where the game breaks so badly that it becomes completely unplayable. Pac-Man, famously, has a killscreen that garbles half of the playing field and doesn't spawn enough dots for the level to ever end. Tetris was assumed to be no exception, but because of the presumed-impossible difficulty of level 29, the community considered that to be Tetris's killscreen, and all high-leveled Tetris play centered around level 29 being the absolute end of your run, no matter what.
But, and if you've heard literally anything about people getting insanely good at retro games, you'll know what comes next. Of course, someone figures out how to control the game past level 29. In 2011, Thor Aackerlund discovered a technique now known as "hypertapping" (which is exactly what it sounds like, tapping very very fast) - and became the first person to play level 30.
But hypertapping wasn't enough. It was still stupidly difficult to get to, let alone past, level 30. Then this guy named Cheez shows up and finds that using an even more absurd technique, called "Rolling", which was even faster than hypertapping. People weren't just hitting level 30, but then 40, then 50, and then all the way into the 90s. Since all post-29 levels have the exact same speed, once they mastered rolling, they were pretty much good to play forever.
With levels 29+ conquered, now players could face the real killscreen of Tetris. A Tetris-playing AI got the first crash, but since it was playing a very slightly modified version (to show a larger score number, because the vanilla score counter didn't have enough digits), it only kinda-sorted counted. So the community picked apart the game's code to find where the game could hypothetically crash while completely unmodified - and found the current human record was not that far off.
So the entire community fucking scrambles to be the first person to crash Tetris, but then were confounded by another technically-not-game-ending-but-still-pretty-much-impossible-for-a-human bug; after level 138, the game stops choosing the colors for the blocks from where it's supposed to, leading it to display some truly heinously color palettes. Most of them are just ugly, but a few make the blocks you're placing next to invisible. (This was actually known about before the AI even crashed the game, and part of the reason the AI could get so much further than humans; it didn't need to visually see the blocks.)
Just next to invisible, though. You could still sorta see most of the blocks, and when you pass the level, the game pulls a new color palette, so if you can tough it out long enough to get 10 lines, you're probably gonna be able to continue your game for a while after that. It's annoying as hell, but not impossible. So, of course, the runners start getting past them and brushing up against the crashable levels.
And by runners, I mostly mean a 13 year old boy who goes by the online handle Blue Scuti. He'd skyrocketed into fame in the Tetris community relatively recently by achieving scores and levels that most adults couldn't even dream of, so of course he was among the first people to get past both impossible-palette levels, and he was able to keep going.
The game doesn't always crash in one specific spot, though. It just starts having a chance to crash after a certain point. You might have to perform some specific actions in specific windows of time to get it to crash on purpose, and it's much more likely that you'll lose control and lose your run before you achieve that goal.
Blue Scuti missed the first crash opportunity in his run. He was the first person to get that far at all, so it'd be a record regardless, but he was determined to win. He somehow keeps his cool, despite being a literal child with thousands of eyes on him (this was streamed on Twitch, of course), and never loses control of his stack, all the way until he reaches the next crash opportunity all the way on level 157.
And he fucking does it. He gets a single line clear in the middle of level 157 and the game just stops. It completely crashed. A 13 year old boy nicknamed Blue Scuti is the first human being in history to crash Tetris in this way. He is the first person ever to see Tetris's real killscreen. This game is over twice his age, and he is the first to kill it dead.
This kid fucking rules.
(if you want more detail, I learned basically all of the above from this video by aGameScout, please watch it!!)
Y’ever read something and have understanding that has eluded you interminably suddenly stop, curl up, and snuggle neatly into a fold in your brain because a new way way opened to it?
I've seen this passed around a few times, and I have one thing to say:
I'm afraid to find out if it could in fact have been made easy for me because calculus killed my entire formal education and career dreams but maybe it isn't too late for the rest of you!!
One thing that Firefox can’t do is allow me to access my telehealth therapy appointments. Three different platforms now have rejected my use of Firefox. I use Safari instead bc that’s what works and at least it isn’t chrome, but for folks who rightfully use Firefox, be aware that many, if not all, telehealth platforms will not work on Firefox (something about the encryption/security not being up to their standard, I believe; if there are hacks that Firefox gurus know to bypass this, please share with the class?).
Any reason the developers of those sites give that is not 'we're too lazy to check compatibility so we're blocking Firefox' is false.
Wear a fake mustache and pretend to be Chrome.
There’s a plant called the “TomTato” which is a cherry tomato plant with potatoes as roots. It yields large quantities of both tomatoes and spuds.
OK BUT YOU LEFT OUT THAT THEY CALL IT “KETCHUP N’ FRIES” IN MARKETING.
the fun thing about this is while it may be marketed ts you can do this yourself. it usually comes as grown seedlings or potted plant if its the genuine deal and not fake amazon seeds (fake seeds and seed scams are a big thing on amazon). but anyways these plants are made via grafting which is really pretty simple.
right now late june might be too late to try this out and get good results BUT. pick out any variety of tomato plant you like best. i prefer a good slicing tomato for sandwiches, not cherry tomatoes. any thing like Better Boy or even Black Cherokee is tasty. the other part is choosing a potato plant. you got to pick out a potato you like too. this has to be done before either plant starts fruiting or blossoming in the spring.
here’s you a video how to assemble your Frankenstein plant :D
“sometimes you can just tape two sorta-related plants together and get double crop frankenplant” is one of my favorite biology hacks.
Anyway, fuck Adobe, and enjoy!
Give credit to the 30-year-old who worked on this for free and offers this service for free!
WHAT?!
I study graphic design and my tutor recommended and used this in his classes at art college last year, it’s so good it has SO many features for free, I really recommend it, even if you’re just trying to learn the basics of PS, such a wonderful thing <3
Calisthenics for Beginners (2023)
You can learn almost any exercise by building up with easier variations! Here are some examples.
Note: this is a short version of a 26-minute long video called "Home Workout for Beginners (2023)" on our YouTube channel. If you want more details, please check out that video or the Hybrid Routine page: https://www.hybridcalisthenics.com/routine I tried to fit what I can into a short video.
Also, yes my knees go in a bit more than I'd like during my intro jump when I stand up 😅. The one later is better.
We're going to try to schedule a large backlog of videos to post daily for a while! If anything seems out of order, that might be why. Follow for more - have a wonderful day!
Free Hybrid Calisthenics Fitness App (beta) - based on this video's philosophy
Looks like vaccination DRAMATICALLY lowers Long Covid risk. PLEASE read this and get those new variant vaccinations folks!
As a doctor, do you have any hygiene tips you think most people could use hearing? Like things people seem to neglect or do wrong that pop up and cause problems? Thanks!
EARS. Earwax is genetically determined. Some people get dry, scant earwax and others get wet, copious earwax. The biggest mistake I see is relying on Q-tips. Every time you stimulate the inside of your ear canal it makes your ears go “oh shit, there’s a threat! I better make more protective wax!” and next thing you know you’ve managed to jam a bunch of wax you told you ears to make back up against your ear drums and you can’t hear as well. Don’t rely on Q-tips. When you’re in the shower, let warm water run in, mush it around by pushing on your tragus (the cartilage flap in front of the canal), and let it drain. Repeat. Blot dry your ears with the edge of a towel or a Kleenex or something afterwards. If you tend to get really stubborn wax, use Debrox drops once or twice a week.
And vaginas. They’re mucus membranes once you get past the labia majora! You wouldn’t soap the inside of your mouth, don’t soap your vagina! It’s a self cleaning oven and if it smells weird GO SEE A MEDICAL PROVIDER because over the counter shit probably isn’t the right answer.
Dandruff isn’t because your scalp is dry. It’s because of a microorganism called malassezia furfur. It eats scalp oils. Dandruff shampoos mostly work pretty well.
Those are the three I can think of off the top of my head. Never use Irish Spring soap! It’s so heavily fragranced it’s a contact dermatitis waiting to happen! I once had a guy develop full body itching and I was JOKING when I said “what, did you just switch to Irish Spring?” and from then until he died he was convinced I was a witch because I was RIGHT.
Until he DIED??
Not from the soap! Unrelated medical causes.
"Look at this video of a child disappointed at their expensive gift! Children are so spoiled these days!"
That's cool. So, why did their parents upload their small child being upset online? In a public video, shared to the entire video? Why did they even save the recording?
Like. The kid in that scenario could be saying the most entitled nonsense in the world, and if their parents post it online to be publicly shamed, I'd still support the kid 100%. Thinking your child's life is a toy to exploit freely for #content is "spoiled"; when faced with mommy vlogers, kids should be demanding three PS5s and a new Bugatti, and we should be applauding them for it
This also tends to attract a lot of responses from grown adults eager to fantasize about how they'd "punish" the kid, and. If your power fantasies involve you owning an eight year old (in the metaphorical sense not the Sixpenceee sense) I don't even know what to say
Also there are a lot of expensive gifts that are really thoughtless. If an 8 year old wants a Lego set and you buy them a model train set and they get pissed about it, you’re the problem.
I don’t care that the thing was expensive, if you didn’t ask or ignored what they wanted, that’s on the parents
A lot of people seem to not realize (or care) why kids want specific things, and also that kids don't get what money is. They haven't had it beaten into them yet that they're supposed to like expensive things more than less expensive things. What they find enjoyable may have nothing to do with how expensive it is, and that fries the brain of well-off parents who care about things primarily as status symbols. The notion that someone could be happier with something that cost $20 than something that cost $2,000 infuriates them on a deep subconscious level
It's also limited by parent's lack of knowledge about tech, so they can't understand why someone who wanted a Switch would be upset if they get a PS5. It's more expensive, so clearly it's just the same thing but better in their mind. They don't know or care that their kid really wanted to play Mario and that they can't do that on the PS5, so they process it as ungratefulness
Kids also don’t have a huge amount of experience in anything, and it’s a parent’s job to teach them. This sounds incredibly obvious, doesn’t it?
Before a family Christmas celebration, when all five of us happened to be lounging around together, I announced we were playing PRESENT PRACTICE. I wrapped a toy frying pan in a muslin cloth and handed it to a child, who unwrapped it and mimed amazement. The older children and their father were all awarded points for their simulated appreciation and the baby got points just for learning to unwrap something. On the second pass we all leveled up to making a grateful comment in reaction to the particular gift, such as “this will go in my collection of frying pans” and “now I can cook one very small egg.”
For the six year old, I very seriously presented the important and tricky case study of unwrapping a large exciting box to find a single pair of socks. The child suggested a reaction of “this is great, how surprising! But,” their face changing to seriousness and the tone of giving the giftee useful feedback for the future, “I’m not very interested in socks.” They explained the utility of passing on this feedback. So, this being present practice, I received this reaction with the grace and thoughtful attention of an award-winning director, and we discussed how we would leave that part out for our more sensitive audiences.
The children also traditionally give small cheap or handmade presents to their family members. Each parent takes each child secretly in hand to prepare a present for the other parent. The six-year-old also has access to the PTA school shop, where the PTA purchase small shitty items (scented candles, bars of soap, cheap socks) and sell them to the schoolkids for £1.50 each, and wrap them on the spot. The 6-year-old carefully squeezes the value from the £10 we give them for this purpose, and squirrels away their mysterious bag of wrapped gifts like it’s a state secret. The three year old is given “pocket money,” and taken shopping. There is now emotional investment in giving; we whisper together quietly about how much people will like the gift. The three year old frequently whispers hotly into my ear about the item they chose for their grandmother (a tissue cover, lmao). The children, therefore, watch adults carefully when their own offerings are unwrapped and admired. When they see us reacting with amazement and gratitude to their gifts, it maps that pathway and lights it up. It also teaches pretty early on that giving is actually supposed to be rewarding, and is a more reliable source of cheer - as you can always control the feeling giving, while getting is tiresomely at the whim of an external giver, isn’t it? And it reinforces that a certain degree of social performance is expected.
Present Practice is a fun game to play so the kids do it to each other. It’s a funny trick to play on a parent, too. You can hand a parent something hilarious, like a potato wrapped in toilet paper, and see them try to do a Level 3 reception on it (“this will be my favorite ever potato,” I say mistily, “how did you guess what was in my heart?”)
For high-pressure present-opening situations, you can just sit back and watch, really. Even when I had to let them open USA-grandparent Christmas presents over Zoom AT the house of the British Grandparents. The children spontaneously decided to receive presents in the guise of angels. I was giving the kids wild thumbsups from behind the camera as they warmly enthused over the sentiments in the cards before even looking at the gift.
Does it sound artificial? Well, they have fun, and they’re kind, and they love giving and receiving. They’re nice and well behaved - and people love to give them presents. It’s all social performance! and you’re expecting super high-level software to run on Kid Hardware, which is like trying to program Plant Pathology 101 onto a border collie! Kind of an unfair expectation on the framework, mate!
I’d suggest the first port of call is literally - teaching kids how to get presents.
#my god! imagine explicitly telling kids what behavior is correct rather than expecting them to intuit it!#especially if there is a wrong answer!#some kids are good at it but others - will just remember being Wrong and not knowing why#honestly Present Practice is kind of blowing my mind#holy shit! you can just tell them the rules!
