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Snuhutek

@snuhutek

Fan and lurker, reader of everything, INTJ, 32

In the future, children will think our ways are strange. "Why do old people always grow so much milkweed in their gardens?" they'll say. "Why do old people always write down when the first bees and butterflies show up? Why do old people hate lawn grass so much? Why do old people like to sit outside and watch bees?"

We will try to explain to them that when we were young, most people's yards were almost entirely short grass with barely any flowers at all, and it was so commonplace to spray poisons to kill insects and weeds that it was feared monarch butterflies and American bumblebees would soon go extinct. We will show them pictures of sidewalks, shops, and houses surrounded by empty grass without any flowers or vegetables and they will stare at them like we stared at pictures of grimy children working in coal mines

We will be feeding our grandchildren strawberries and raspberries we grew in our gardens, dragging them along to the farmers' markets for tomatoes and eggs and goats milk and pickles and pecans and salsa and sunflower seed butter and jars of honey, as they complain and drag their feet because Gramma always stands around talking to people for like an HOUR

and we will say "When I was YOUR age, fruits and vegetables came from a supermarket and they were bred to get shipped 1000 miles in a truck and sit on shelves for weeks, and they tasted so sour and watery it was like eating paper compared to these ones. It wasn't even legal in some places to grow your own food"

and they will roll their eyes like yeah yeah just because everything was miserable in the 20s doesn't mean I have to have a smile on my face standing in the hot sun while you listen to that one guy talk about his bees FOREVER

But they will go, because there might be baby goats.

i feel like every human should max out at one disability or chronic illness. like when i hit adolescence and my brain chemistry went “bipolar time now?” the response should have been an error message like sorry! this slot can only contain one (1) item and has been filled with childhood asthma. i would even allow the possibility that you can overwrite previous disorders like “you have equipped chronic migraines and so now will no longer display symptoms of bipolar disorder.” i just think it should work that way.

So .... are Germans just weird or.... is pizza with tuna and onions a bad combo?

Absolutely flabbergasted by the results, wdym pizza with tuna and onions is a bad combo?? You don't have these???

Don’t forget the vegan version. We don’t joke about tuna-onion pizza here.

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maybe I've been here too long but imo tuna pizza is the less bad offender than sweetcorn pizza

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And I was just about to add that tuna pizza can only be made better by adding corn...

The title of Peter Jackson’s 2018 documentary film “They Shall Not Grow Old” can be expressed as a single word in Slovak, my native language.

In Slovak, just like in other Slavic languages, single morphemes can hold information that are the equivalent to individual words in analytic languages like English.

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My favourite thing about the D&D movie is it never stops trying to be a D&D movie even down to the most minute, unsung details. There's initiative order gags (I'll go last!) there's rolling a 1 gags (setting off the trap on the bridge by inexplicably just walking up to it) there's stat gags (nobody had high enough Intelligence to be in danger from the Intellect Devourers). Almost every spell is identifiable, from Xenk using smite to Sofina whipping out Finger of Death. Simon's character arc is about his self-confidence being tied to his mastery of magic because Charisma is the spellcasting stat for sorcerers. The era of movies based on games being afraid of their source material is over.

@thewalrus-said Join me in d&d hell it's 100% worth it and inspired me to immediately write porn about it lol

Amazing, I will absolutely watch it now!

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It was so good a movie!

People who aren't familiar with animal behaviour - especially when it comes to wild animals - are surprised and delighted when a wild animal that's usually averse to human contact seems to be completely tame. It's cute! Look at this little buddy, look at how friendly she is! You see pictures like that on the internet sometimes, people snapping photos of themselves and their friends picking up this incredibly sweet and docile beautiful piece of wildlife.

The truth is, that is mortifying. An animal acting unnaturally is always a bad sign. That creature is too sick or delirious to flee from a predator. Depending on what's wrong with that poor thing, their unexpected - well, unanticipated - bite might infect you, too. A creature that can't comprehend, or can't bother to care, that they're in danger is dangerous by default.

I wonder if that would apply to humans interacting with supernatural creatures. Like they emit vibes so bad that humans just fucking bolt at the first hint of it, the aura of Sense Of Impending Doom radiates from them at Demon Core doses, you'd chew your leg off like a trapped animal to escape it.

And then these creatures find a human that is so thorougly depleted of fucks to give that they honestly just don't fucking care anymore. Looking at unfathomable cosmic horrors like "yeah this might as well be happening" and doesn't even flinch at the unfathomable hand reaching to grasp them.

And the entities are like "omg look it's letting me pick it up! it's completely tame!", blisfully unaware that a human being who has reached a point this far beyond fearing death will not hesitate to kill a god.

My favourite type of movie is “period piece romance but fantasy-horror hijinks happen and now everyone has to adapt to the new genre or die,” ala Curse of the Black Pearl, Anastasia, The Mummy (1999)

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"everybody has to adapt to the new genre" is really criminally underutilized in general

JRR Tolkien, writing The Hobbit: The passages there were crossed and tangled in all directions, but the goblins knew their way, as well as you do to the nearest post-office…

Me, a child, reading it: Oh dear. I’m not sure I do know the way to the nearest post-office. It sounds as if that’s absolutely something I’m supposed to know. I can’t know less than a goblin. The book will be disappointed in me.

Me, a little while later, figuring out the location of a nearby post-office: oh thank goodness

Me for the rest of my life: feeling vaguely comforted and affirmed by knowing the location of the nearest post-office, a facility I almost never use, because I am at least the navigational equal of a goblin