talking to someone and they go offline straight away

drink some water you beautiful and capable but dehydrated bitch

on cats

pros of being made of liquid:

get place

reloxing

armour

cons of being made of liquid:

DISOPEAR INTO THE ABYSS

“REMEMBER ME AS I NOW AM HOOMAN”

“oh i forgot to make dinner”

“guess we’re having takeout tonight!”

A floating dome to let fish take a look outside the pond.

Stop

don’t worry, you’re still in the “early life” part of your wikipedia page

cool

me irl

when you tryna chill but your siblings love annoyin you

Favorite moment

That’s that “Ima beat yo ass” run 😂😂

He finna beat his ass

I can hear the “aye chill bro chill I’m just playing”

putting tape over my Webcam thinking about how the CIA agent watched me cry everyday for a year and didn’t once check up one me: cut toxic people out in 2018

What breaking ice on a trampoline looks like. From here

This is so unspeakably satisfying, holy shit

Omg its like glass

This is what chewing Five gum is like

Walter is my cousin’s dog. He really has a thing for swimming.

that was a religious experience

me

I’ve never seen a butt-mounted camera, but damn, this dog knows where he wants to go, and goes there fast.

His little ears flopping in he wind

THIS IS THE QUALITY CONTENT I WANT TO SEE

8 of the world’s most bizarre flowers:

1.) Swaddled Babies

2.) Flying Duck Orchid

3.) Hooker’s Lips Orchid

4.) Ballerina Orchid

5.) Monkey Orchid

6.) Naked Man Orchid

7.) Laughing Bumblebee Orchid

8.) White Egret Orchid

Orchids kinda don’t wanna be flowers, huh.

Orchids kinda don’t wanna live in general.

There are more ways to kill an orchid than there are to get one to actually stay alive, let alone bloom. They die if they don’t like their soil, or their water, or the amount of sun, or the amount of shade, or the environment in general, sometimes they die if they just plain don’t like you. Orchids are the pickiest plant in the world, and they would rather be dead, then put up with shit they don’t like. For those of the human race that can actually keep an orchid alive, you have been chosen, and you should be proud.

Beyoncé: *purchases new laptop and uses it for the first time*

The FBI Agent that’s assigned to her: