my best feature is that I'm blindingly intelligent for about 30 seconds a day
I do not get to choose which seconds. they are not consecutive
You telling me that Jack Black would not be 1000% down to be kidnapped by the muppets for a shenanigan, or possible a hijink?
Mr. The Frog still sends me more than “we all agreed a celebrity is not a people”
some time ago i introduced the phrase "food pact" to my friends as a shorthand for "i'll go make and eat food if you also make and eat food" and ever since then ive just started incorporating more pacts into my life. stay hydrated pact. stretch break pact. stop doomscrolling and go to bed pact. we need to bring this back in vogue more people should be making pacts imo
Big day for the EoG fandom
New content drop for the Gilgagirlies👆👆👆
achillesvevo-deactivated2020090
me, holding a pizza box and shouting: SUE!
customer walks up
me: sue?
customer opens the box, frowns, and sticks her finger in the pizza: i didn’t order pepperoni
me, with a voice devoid of any emotion: ……. sue?
customer: oh! no i’m (name)!
the actual sue, materializing at my elbow: is that a pizza for sue?
me: would you like some free breadsticks to eat while we remake you pizza? another customer touched it
‘another customer’ sheepishly mumbles sorry
sue, who has clearly worked with the public: you take as long as you need to, honey
me, shouting at the top of my lungs: ICED VENTI VANILLA LATTE FOR JENNIFER
male customer standing right in front of me turns to look
me: jennifer? iced vanilla latte?
customer says nothing, takes the drink, shoves straw in, takes a long sip
customer: i wanted this hot. i ordered a small hot decaf skinny vanilla latte.
me: are you jennifer?
customer: no, i’m daniel
Some people wonder why people fight wars, but I have no trouble imagining reasons for people to just haul off on each other.
Retail needs a designated purge week where talking back is fair game and management stfu
today im thinking about the huge buff bread guy from kikis delivery service. highly underrated guy
Genuinely just a good man. Wife adopts teenage witch that needs a place to stay in the city? Sure. Even though you got a kid on the way? That’s fine. Cat too? Love cats.
My favorite moment with him is when he goes to get some prepped baking sheets and he does this fancy twirl with them in front of Jiji. Like, there’s no other people in the room, he does this to impress a cat.
I don’t think he ever says more than a whole word the entire movie, and I still love him more than most Disney princes based on this one moment alone.
And the part where he wanted to surprise Kiki by making that beautiful elaborate sign OUT OF BREAD to advertise her business and he was all anxious for her to get home and see it
But then when he sees her coming he gets all bashful and runs away 😭
the most underrated thing about the ghibli movies is how deeply they are love stories to working people, to the small folk, to moments of love and kindness. its not just about magic, many movies are about magic and fairytales. Its not only about the people in the stories, but about stories in the people. And they are just loveable.
andrew-yakson
coexiststickeronaglock
Great work everybody, hit the showers
your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions
maplebungus
your man thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions
Who’s fucking carmelizing onions?
Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?
do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions
your man thinks caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions
You ever think about how crows are acting not unlike how early humans probably did and you're just like. Oh ok
I saw a Thing one time about how the earliest sign of civilization is a healed femur because that shows that we were taking care of each other because if we Didn't a broken leg would mean you Die because you can't. Do things
And I was thinking about this and I remembered also seeing an article about this one mated pair of crows where one of them broke its beak and thus couldn't properly feed itself on its own. So the other one helps
So basically I have connected the two dots ("you didn't connect shit") I've connected them
And also they not only use tools but teach each other how to construct them, so uh
Really makes you think
Realistically I know immortality would kinda suck but I'd love to see where crows are going with this
Fun fact, there is little info on crows (as far as species of interest go) because they're so good at evading human tactics for collection and observation. I had a friend who studied them in grad school. Not only do they describe humans to each other (so crows you've never seen before will avoid you), they also learn the precise distance of net cannons (for trapping and tagging) after 1 encounter and then stand at that distance the entire time (making naive researchers think maybe they can juuuust caych em). So basically you need to befriend them (a common strategy), or find a murder that's never seen you before (researchers wear presidents masks to throw them off, but then they remember and describe the cars). In this case, you have one chance to collect enough in the group to get good data. Whatever crow you catch once, you probably will never catch again, ruling out biosensing devices (like they use with other birds and turtles n junk).
The latest big finding about crows is that they have a grasp of knowledge breadth, meaning they "know what they know" meaning they are conscious (self aware), have subjective experiences and can reflect on their knowledge. (Source) This also implies they have an understanding of the unknown.
Look up Andreas Nieder and Jon Marzluff's work if you want the deep skinny.
Love corvids so much
omg i told a million times just bc the amulet glows a bright pulsating red every time i'm about to commit acts of great evil doesn't mean the amulet is *driving* me to evil. it just gets excited is all
it's always "take off the amulet it's cursed" and "cast it into the flames before corrupts your soul" and never "woah cool amulet where did you get it" or "i like your amulet it looks nice on you"
something i really enjoy in horror movies is when the victim(s) start to hunt the killer in return in order to kill them first, both because it's an interesting parallel that (if done well) asks the audience to consider the question of when violence and killing are a justifiable means to an end in order to survive and at what point it crosses the line from acceptable to abhorrent and condemns the perpetrator, and also because it's a little bit funny. like i can do that too bitch you're not special.
i learned that there's a Japanese beetle that when eaten by a frog will haul ass through its digestive system and escape out the back end unscathed (x)
you eat me and i perfectly dodge all of your digestive enzymes and stomach acid and i sprint out your asshole fully intact
I put a smell on you
cats when they headbutt you
and now you’re mine
going to work 😌
the extremely ominous part in the middle where he picked up a hammer and just held it for a minute like he was threatening the car into compliance
2008-2017 Wuling Rongguang/Chevrolet N300
somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.
and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.
I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me