All The Good Stuff In One Pretty Human

never understood people who let candy melt in their mouth. ill bite down on a damn jolly rancher because i lack the patience 

It’s like a dishwasher

i dont understand even a little bit thank you

I WOULD BE SO COMFORTABLE WHEN DRAWING!!!!!! And playing games.

Yes, yes, hilarious Wall-E jokes, but the accessibility?! I’ve spent the past 6 weeks alternating between bed rest and sitting in my wheelchair. I’m currently lying flat on my back, my laptop dangerously perched, threatening to fall into my face, while staring up at a godawful fluorescent light. Give me a future where we can sit in environments that consistently adapt to you, while looking like you’re a supervillain that would rival Megamind in presentation!

catch me and my wife in our matching SCORPIOPOD DESK CHAIR AMALGAMS.

Find me in bed, ignoring text messages and scrolling on Tumblr

This website is complete shit

“the everything”

Mysterio: How did you find me?

Peter: Oh, it was easy, really. I just listened for the sound of complete and utter betrayal and followed that.

Random but when I come on tumblr to chill or just be away from other socials, I feel like it’s the online version of me going to my room and just doing my own thing to be away from everyone else.

cat: *apex predator with over 2,900 confirmed kill*

humaine @ cat:

someone: quit bouncing your leg me: hesitates but continues to lowkey bounce my leg

*adds a sticky note that reads KILL HIM* to spice things up

I was walking through the toy aisle at Target when I found this thing and had a VIOLENT AND IMMEDIATE FLASHBACK to when JP first came out and they had a bunch of REALLY COOL T Rex toys that I would have sold one of my scrawny small-child limbs for but my mother wouldn’t get me one because they were “too violent and also ate people” :(

hnn I WANT IT SO BAD

on closer inspection, it makes a lot of really obnoxious noises and is also Too Expensive. BUT FEAR NOT I found this slightly smaller dude wedged in the back!

IT HAS BITE ACTION, AND THAT’S THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS

now we enter the testing phase

yup. looks good.

Extreme Chompin T-Rex says IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS

Can we take a moment to appreciate that we can use this as a rosetta stone to say “EXTREME CHOMPIN’ “ in four languages?

OH SHIT YOU’RE RIGHT, let me check the garbage to see if it’s still there! hopefully I didn’t destroy it in my excitement

*roar sound effect*

IMPORTANT UPDATE:

update update: I re-sized her collar and found a bag of toy bones at the craft store. I haven’t put this much effort into a non-school thing since my last job search, help

(secret bonus: the other side of her tag)

There’s more!

I love.

I saw that people are reblogging the thread again, so I thought I’d give you all an update on how Wexter is doing!

(just fine)

Wexter And The Case Of Her Continuing Marvelously Naughty Garden Adventures

OP and Wexter can break all my toes and I would still send a thank you card

Wexter says SHE WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING (but she might chew your ankles a little bit maybe)

so it’s come to my attention that at some point this weekend Wexter blew past 100,000 notes, and I for one think that’s very cash money of her.

Bring Me The Boss Hog