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I Am Completely Serious

@snarp / snarp.tumblr.com

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I’m a Merlin wizard who experiences time backwards, and I blocked you because you sent me an angry message asking me why I blocked you.

Everyone loves Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower, the most confusing dead lady who kills you in the whole game

Tumblr captcha glitch functions as a rate-limit to prevent me from reporting more than 10 [redacted] per hour. ~390 to go.

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Dad has once again accused me of stealing a cat. Not Elasticity (the cat I brought over here with Dad's permission due to injuries), but Uncertainty. "I can't find him" Dad do you think that might be because your third cat keeps trying to kill him and Elasticity

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Dad has once again found the cat. He will nonetheless continue to accuse me of this crime.

@thegeekgene please let Mom know that it's too late for her to claim the meat she left in my fridge; it was going bad; I have broiled it.

Why does this "unscented" deodorant I got on sale smell like sandalore... Who is making deodorant imbued with hair growth drugs

An sqlite database can get too big for my bonts to open it... sad

The animal is crying

Upcoming Tumblr updates to further the project of Bringing In New Users by preventing you from seeing stuff you want to see:

* Non-"trending" tags can no longer be viewed: You click on #anne bronte and get "Not much going on here! Why not check out 📈#minecraft or 📈#coquette?"

* Bug that prevents me from blocking popular repost-bot blogs is revealed as a feature and rolled out to everyone. You need no longer worry that you'll miss a single post from hilarious-twitter-tweets, cute-animals-love, animerde, or thenwhysimonoftrent (cryptofash who runs at least one of the others).

* Linking to posts deprecated. You can't.

Reinstalling Android dev tools to rebuild the Tumblr app

Anyway. Today I downloaded a font to match an ebook's inaccurate colophon (referenced the print font) and embedded it myself. I did this because I have an obsessive disorder that manifests in the form of Formats. And Manifests.

GOOGLE QUERY: "Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data" "epub" "copyright page" "best practices"

RESULTS: i am going to kill somebody

Why can't I just fucking wipe the iPhone SE and install an OS that isn't actively hostile to human life