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Snarl Furillo

@snarlfurillo / snarlfurillo.tumblr.com

Hi. I'm Snarl Furillo (she/they), and this is my blog. I post about fannish stuff, disability, mental health, and pink flowers. It's okay to like or comment on my personal posts. They're tagged "inside baseball."

I'm going to watch the Barbie movie while being Cognizant of its function as a spectacle of a commodity and enjoy the aesthetic but think the dialogue could use a little more polish from the writers and then I'm going to go home and make sweet tender love with Karl Marx who will have been sleeping in my bathtub all day. And afterwards he will kiss me so tenderly and say "I'm glad you enjoyed the movie. The masses deserve to have as much joy and art in whatever they can access in their every day. It is not through media or representation that we will find liberation but the self activity of the working class in the smashing if the capitalist state. Anyway can you review this fanfiction I wrote of Engels getting down silly style for me before I send it to him?"

I think I was suffering heat stroke when I typed this pls don't cast your spell upon me

Autism and Phone Calls

There's also just a different sound quality with phones that makes understanding what people are saying difficult, especially if it's a landline or a cellphone with low signal.

Yes, that is a good point @apollosgoldenlight :)

I hate talking on the phone. Three years working in a call center produced a lot of legitimate trauma that makes it hard for me to call anyone.  

I wish I could hand this explanation to my parents back in the 90s when they asked me why I was having anxiety attacks about making a phone call to a friend.

When people ask, “How can I tell if someone is disabled or just lazy?” I think about my parents.

My parents have known me my whole life. When they’re not actively contemptuous of me, they do seem to be somewhat aware of my general personality and character. In one of his nicer moments, my dad has called me “sweet-natured.” They can tell that when I make them a surprise breakfast or lunch that I enjoy being helpful and doing nice things for people.

They know from watching me grow up that I have always had trouble keeping my room clean, getting homework done, and keeping my desk tidy at school.

The longest I can push myself past my limits is about nine months. Then I collapse and end up less functional than I was before I pushed myself. This has been a pattern throughout my middle and high school years. I would go to public school for about a year, and then collapse and have to do the rest of my education at home. My work history follows this pattern, too.

I once sat in a therapy session with my dad to talk about the constant struggle we were having at home because he wanted me to help out more and do better in school. When he asked me why I didn’t do things, I broke down in tears, because I couldn’t explain it. “I just CAN’T. I want to, and I CAN’T.” Nobody listened.

My mom asked me why I don’t do things, and I said, “I just can’t. I sit there for hours trying to convince myself to do things, and I can’t. Move.”

And she said, “Don’t think about it, just do it,” completely missing the point.

When I got older I found words for the things I was dealing with. I got professionally diagnosed, and I’d look up information about my diagnosis and e-mail articles to my parents explaining what my disability is and why I can’t do things.

My parents have firsthand information about my character (helpful, likes doing things for others) and my history with disability (can’t consistently keep things clean, can’t manage a daily schedule). I’ve talked to them extensively about my diagnosis and given them information about it. They have known me my whole life, and I’ve always been this way. And they still, STILL choose to believe I’m just a bad person who doesn’t try and doesn’t care.

My disability isn’t invisible, people refuse to look at it.

People like problems they can yell at. They like having a target for their frustration. They don’t want to admit disability is real, because they want problems that they can either solve, or blame someone else for. And the disabled person themself is  their scapegoat, someone who can’t ever opt out of their role because the disability is never going to go away.

My disability isn’t invisible, people refuse to look at it.

My disability isn’t invisible, people refuse to look at it.

My disability isn’t invisible, people refuse to look at it.

“The longest I can push myself past my limits is about nine months. Then I collapse and end up less functional than I was before I pushed myself.“

Oh.

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“They don’t want to admit disability is real, because they want problems that they can either solve, or blame someone else for. And the disabled person themself is  their scapegoat, someone who can’t ever opt out of their role because the disability is never going to go away.”

"People like problems they can yell at."

A List of Prompts

because yeah i think it would be helpful if there was a comprehensive list of those, so

ANGST. want to cry? here's some onion for you.

SMUT / NSFW. having horny thoughts? endulge.

FLUFF. for when your heart needs healing.

BITTERSWEET. for those who like to hurt and then soothed.

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ABOUT TO SHAPE A DRAGON’S BREATH

A young Indigenous woman enters a colonizer-run dragon academy—and quickly finds herself at odds with the “approved” way of doing things—in the first book of this brilliant new fantasy series. The remote island of Masquapaug has not seen a dragon in many generations—until fifteen-year-old Anequs finds a dragon’s egg and bonds with its hatchling. Her people are delighted, for all remember the tales of the days when dragons lived among them and danced away the storms of autumn, enabling the people to thrive. To them, Anequs is revered as Nampeshiweisit—a person in a unique relationship with a dragon. Unfortunately for Anequs, the Anglish conquerors of her land have different opinions. They have a very specific idea of how a dragon should be raised, and who should be doing the raising—and Anequs does not meet any of their requirements. Only with great reluctance do they allow Anequs to enroll in a proper Anglish dragon school on the mainland. If she cannot succeed there, her dragon will be killed. For a girl with no formal schooling, a non-Anglish upbringing, and a very different understanding of the history of her land, challenges abound—both socially and academically. But Anequs is smart, determined, and resolved to learn what she needs to help her dragon, even if it means teaching herself. The one thing she refuses to do, however, is become the meek Anglish miss that everyone expects. Anequs and her dragon may be coming of age, but they’re also coming to power, and that brings an important realization: the world needs changing—and they might just be the ones to do it.

PRAISE

“A thorough delight … To Shape a Dragon’s Breath reveals a world that is complex and political through deft, thoughtfully drawn characters who, like their world, are complicated and believable. I love Anequs!”—K. Eason, author of How Rory Thorne Destroyed the Multiverse “Imagine a world full of dragons where a newborn chooses you to be its caregiver. Imagine you have to go to a special school to learn how to train it. Imagine that almost no one at the school wants you there. This is how the well-written, compelling tale of To Shape a Dragon’s Breath begins, and once underway it doesn’t let you go.”—New York Times bestselling author Terry Brooks

Yooooooo, re-reblogging this from myself because I just finished this book about 10 minutes ago and y'all, it’s SO GOOD!

Are you nostalgic for the “teens in magic school” books of your childhood but wish they were explicitly queer and anti-colonial and, y'know, good? Really need an awesome queer Indigenous woman as a protagonist? (Like, a really, really awesome protagonist? She’s so cool??) Worldbuilding? Steampunk? You want DRAGONS???

Dude. Read this book. Run, don’t walk to your local library. Or, I mean, don’t because it’s like 9pm on a holiday and they’re probably closed, but go to their website. Click “place hold” (because if it’s anything like my library, you’re not gonna be first in line). Get the book. Read the book. Trust me.

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Remember if you’re out at a store and someone says “This is a robbery” you can say “no it’s not” and then the robber will leave because theyre a robber and this is no longer a robbery .

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You can not just say this without dropping the whole story

Ok so,

My dads coworker is at the front and this man comes Up and hands him a document.

The coworker took a Look at the document and while he couldn't read the things written by Hand, because he wasn't wearing his glases, he did notice the Logo of a different Bank so he's like:

"Oh, sorry sir you can't do that here! You have to go to the other Bank for this :)"

The man, visibly confused leaves, but dosen't take the document with him.

The coworker, now just as confused as the Guy actually Takes Out his glases and reads the hand written part:

This is a robbery

Can you imagine trying to rob a god damn bank and the teller just cheerfully tells you to go rob the competition instead

I worked as a bank teller for several years and a few things you should know, bank robberies happen far more frequently than you might think and they come in waves. When a bank gets robbed a notification with photos goes to all banks in the area to be on the lookout. And there are two kinds of robbery, the pass the note and the takeover (what you see in movies).

So our branch had had a big takeover robbery as well as a note one. We also had a teller that had transferred to our branch after having been through a robbery. She was sweet as apple pie, hair up to the ceiling, southern lady who had just been through multiple robberies.

A guy comes in and hands her a folded note. Her immediate thought was “this guy needs to learn you don’t hand bank tellers notes. I am just not going to read that.” So how the conversation goes:

Her: how can I help you today?

Him: I’m here to get money

Her: great *hands him a withdrawal slip*

Him: all the information is on the paper

Her: to process the transaction I need you to put it on my piece of paper

SO HE FILLS OUT A WITHDRAWAL SLIP. Meanwhile another coworker is looking at her latest robbery notification email thinking the guy at the window looks a lot like him but the teller is calm and seems to be following standard transaction.

Back at the window the teller notices his name on the withdrawal slip doesn’t match the name on the account so she asks for his ID. He once again tells her all the relevant info is on the folded note but also gives her his ID and says it is his dad’s account. She tells him he will need a check from his dad to get cash. He grabs the note and leaves.

ONE HOUR LATER

Two new robbery notifications hit our emails, both branches within a mile. It is our guy. Teller goes over to the manager and sheepishly informs them he was here and the time. Security department is notified as are local police and the FBI. The FBI comes over believing that these poor tellers had been robbed for the 3rd time in a month and take her statement. She is completely embarrassed telling them how everything went down and he kept signaling to the note and telling her to read it but she was just done.

To which this FBI agent of 40 years who has been to the scene of many bank robberies (several at this branch in recent weeks) says: Ok. Let me see if I got this right, he came in fully intending to rob you. He gave you the note and you just…refused to read it? So he left and went to the bank literally across the street, handed them the exact same note, and they just handed him five grand? Do I have that correct?”

Her: I am so embarrassed

FBI: this is best thing I have ever heard. He even handed you his ID! Holy-

Her: I feel so dumb!

FBI: don’t! This is the best thing I have ever heard. This is going to be in training courses. (He sat there giddy for at least 5 more minutes)

I have a similar story from my friend Fred, who is a great human and I like him lots.

He was working at a 7-11 that got robbed a lot, working nights. And he was bored and read though his entire contract and learned if you're shot at work you get $200,000. Also, he hated his boss and the job.

So when a guy came in to rob him at gunpoint he got excited and was able to hatch the plan he had been pondering while dealing with a Shitty Boring Job.

"Dude. Shoot me in the leg. Right here- it'll go through and not hit anything vital and I'll be able to quit this fucking job. I'll give you fifty fucking grand to shoot me in the leg then you can take everything in the register."

This ended with him chasing the weeping attempted burglar out of his store screaming "SHOOT ME YOU FUCKING COWARD I WANT THE MONEY".

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One of my uncles was a branch manager at a local bank when I was a kid. His branch had the dubious honor of being one of- if not the- most robbed bank in the area. There was a bullet hole in the wall behind his desk where he'd been shot at once.

One day, this guy came in and announced he was there to rob the place. This man was smoking a cigar with one hand and had a gun in the other.

My uncle pointed at the "No Smoking" sign and told him in no uncertain terms, "Put that cigar out, or finish it outside first."

This guy, bless his heart, went back outside to finish his cigar.

My uncle locked the door behind him and waited for the cops to show up.

This is what I like to call the Bugs Bunny Deescalation Strategy