Tom's "The Dating Game" Profile (as composed by Marvel "fans")

Full Name: Tom “Fan-Killer” Ruprecht Brevort Likes: Pizza, bad hats, the Avengers, gender/age/power/identity-swapping superheroes. Dislikes: X-Men, Fantastic Four, fans, Nova/Richard Rider, continuity, canon, anyone who mentions “ROM” comic books. Ideal Date: Taking Marisa Tomei (or lookalike) out for pizza at the Rainbow Room, then going hat shopping in thrift stores. Follow this by stopping in to some Manhattan comic book store and loudly exclaiming to the staff and customers, “Don’t you know WHO I AM?!? I will END the characters and comics you KNOW and LOVE!!!” If Tom Had One Wish: To give Nick Lowe eternal life–so that he could spend his free time tying Nick to train tracks, throwing toasters in Nick’s bathwater, dropping a piano off a rooftop on to an unsuspecting Nick, etc. 

(nothing but respect, sir–please keep doing exactly what you’re doing, as I am very grateful for this opportunity to interact with the folks behind my most treasured of stories for the last 35+ years)