im gonna shit
The prophet… he tried to warn us. He told us it was too much power, and yet we all laughed. We made a joke of him.
Moreos Guy, if you’re out there, I would like to personally apologize for not heeding your warning to us.
Can’t fathom how I’ve been on this site so goddamn long that there’s a whole new generation of people on here that don’t know who Moreos Guy was.
These horrific, sexist, racist paragraphs - screenshotted and shared for posterity by James Smythe, to whom we are all indebted - are the work of one Liam O’Flynn, a writer and English teacher. Evidently, they come from his book Writing With Stardust: the Ultimate Descriptive Guide for students, parents, teachers, and lovers of English, and are intended as examples of good writing.
UM.
Dear white male writers: DO NOT DO THIS SHIT. IT IS SUPER GROSS AND FETISHISTIC AND ALSO TERRIBLE WRITING. THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.
Like I just. “Her virility-brown eyes -” WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN? How can you have an “Amazonian figure” ON a “wafer-thin body” when “figure” is a word that describe’s a body’s shape, and Amazonian means pretty much the DIRECT FUCKING OPPOSITE of “wafer-thin” in the first place? What the shitting fuck does ANY of this mean, apart from “I am only nebulously familiar with the concept of women and completely at a loss if I can’t compare their various bodyparts to jewels, animals and footstuffs”?
STOP
GO TO WRITING JAIL
GO DIRECTLY TO WRITING JAIL, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200
tag yourself i’m the two beryl-green jewels in the snow
if her ears frame her nose do they like, grow directly beside her nose? how does she see from them?
*facepalm*
“ Writing With Stardust: the Ultimate Descriptive Guide for students, parents, teachers, and lovers of English “
lovers of english
oh my goddddddd
i can’t get over this fucking post
“I loved her nebulous, eden-green eyes which were a-sparkle with the ‘joie de vivre’. They were like two beryl-green jewels melted onto snow.”
1. what the fuck is joie de vivre
2. melted jewels?
3. beryl green
eden green:
WHICH ONE IS ITTTTTTTTT
@laughlikesomethingbroken “Joie de vivre” is a French phrase that literally translates to “joy of living”, while it IS one of those phrases that gets used in English in this context it is SO EXTRA AND UNNECESSARY OH MY GOD. Don’t use French to make yourself sound sophisticated when you’re NOT I don’t know where to even START. Curvilinear waist? Sugar candy-sweet? What the FUCK are seraph’s ears? Voguish clothes? What the everloving fuck is “constellation blue” supposed to mean??? Like forget the objectification, this writing is horrifying enough before we even get to the embedded sexism
seraph’s ears are ears that you can’t see bc they’re hidden behind her 6 wings
Oyster white teeth?
holy purple prose batman
Female writers do this too. Have you read a Mills and Boon novel? Have you read high school girls’ yaoi fanfics?
Uh oh, we were focusing too much on how a grown man is selling this shit and not enough shitting on teenage girls. Egalitarians here to put an end to that shit.
Guess what? I’ve read A LOT of Harlequin novels and a LOT of fanfic and I have never ever seen anything this horrible at description.
Also, none of those stories were trying to hold themselves up as high examples of the craft
You guys here is the description of the book on Amazon.
If this is the description I cannot think how bad the inside is.
I never ever want to hear anyone make fun of fanfic writers again
NEVER EVER
Lord god almighty. I’ve been feeling really down about my writing lately, but this is a confidence boost. 8I
“single but in a long term relationship”
3.6/5 is entirely too high a Goodreads score for this book
… that second one is describing a dog.
As well as the sexism, racism, purple prose, and general nonsense… “The moons delicate light”? At least learn to use apostrophes correctly before setting yourself up as a writing expert, good lord.
“You will find that this book will transform the way you think about descriptive writing.”
Well it sure did that…
I have a few things to say here:
OMFG, I thought that was a PARODY 😖😫😭
I need to show this to my english prof, he’s gonna have a heart attack
Hey to all the writers out there who think they’re being overly descriptive because of those dumb posts about what not to do in writing-
No one can be as bad as this guy. You’re probably fine.
@shippingallthelegos this is a fucking trip
@writing-in-the-grave have you seen this?
I think I’ve just discovered a new level of headache.
Maybe words were a mistake.
I think ur right.
I suddenly feel better about my writing.
I FOUND THE POST!!!!!!
i’m gonna put this in my writing reference tag to show what to avoid when writing
I’m re reblogging because it says he’s an english teacher
What school would allow students to be taught how to write like this?????
I think this post is why I’m really bad at writing descriptions. (I don’t want to write descriptions they way he does…)
WoW … WoW … WoW … What the fuck am I reading and did this bitch actually put French in his damn paragraph out of context just to sounds sophisticated ? Like … You want a croissant for that ? Mec Vraiment . Va te faire FOUTRE . Non . Mais . Oh . Tu vas traumatiser les gens avec ta connerie . Comme tu m’as traumatisée moi d’ailleurs .
i feel so much better about my own writing now. it’s hard for me to be insecure about using too many compound sentences in a row when this garbage exists….
i’ve been procrastinating english creative writing homework but i literally cannot do worse than that, so here i go
It’s safe to say that cis white men who write women that way are sexist pigs and should never write in their entire life, should probably be put into jail for objectification and stabbed with the knife Brutus used on Ceaser.
To the fanfic writers doubting yourselves:
Where’s their record deal?
Their tagline on TikTok is “we take the ‘O’ outta Country” 🤣
They're called The Chattahoochies, and you can find more information about them on their website!
The best part is OP got fired because their boss asked why they weren’t “incorporating blockchain technology” into the video switcher they were building and OP straight up said “you have no idea what you’re talking about” and went to lunch
If you like this check out @wastelesscrafts
This is a lovely example of how you can cover up a hole with embroidery!
One suggestion to make this mend last longer is to fix the hole first, for example by sewing on a small patch on the back or by darning it, and then adding the embroidery on top.
Leaked screen shots for Cars 3: I Fucked your Mom
love how Johnny Cash’s cover of Hurt fucked so hard that everyone was just like “ok that’s his song now”
that everyone includes trent reznor
ok ive had enough of the evil neuralblenders. its time for
goodnight zzz
WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP DEATH WORLD
The best part is OP got fired because their boss asked why they weren’t “incorporating blockchain technology” into the video switcher they were building and OP straight up said “you have no idea what you’re talking about” and went to lunch
Uncle Iroh is a really smart , wise man , and he’s always so helpful to Zuko , but he really did him dirty with that hair style on his date
Like this is one of the few things that Iroh did wrong adjsktv what the hecc Iroh
You mean that haircut so painfully, obviously awful that any self-respecting date would immidiately ruffle it, thus guarunteeing Zuko the first bit of friendly touch from someone other than his uncle for more than three years? Or the haircut so bad that it will imidiately trigger mocking jokes and help break the tension that Zuko is so prone to?
Iroh wins again.
pai sho is a game about planning and taking into account the opponents potential moves.
The best part is OP got fired because their boss asked why they weren’t “incorporating blockchain technology” into the video switcher they were building and OP straight up said “you have no idea what you’re talking about” and went to lunch
When my uncle finally divorced his abusive wife and became a bachelor again he was like 55 and already used to wearing dad attire. Anyway so that year at the big family camping trip my aunts were trying so hard to hook him up with their friends but he kept wearing this sweater with a kitten in s hammock that said “beach bum” on it. And every time they saw it they’d say “Wear a nicer sweatshirt Stan!” And he would just earnestly reply “This IS a very nice sweater!”
Anyway my aunts were full of shit that sweater kicked ass
Found the picture that was on the sweater
radfem ideology and kpop brain combining like majiin buu to create a post that is maybe the worst thing you will see all month
*at funeral for trampling victim* Maybe if he stanned LOONA he would still be alive :’(
THERE'S ALWAYS SOME SORT OF FUCKING TEMPERATURE IN MY ROOM
congrats you’ve made it to the twitter tumblr mega thread
