being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent

[a ticket reads that a customer wants their burger cut in half]

-"What the hell why are they so picky??? That's like for kids. That's like something my DAD would-- wait i don't have a dad-- that's like something my MOM would do"

-"BRO WHY ARE YOU CUSSING ME OUT IN SPANISH???" for some reason shouted so loudly that customers still in line all start laughing

-i open the restaurant and notice the kitchen is still kind of dirty and try to glean who closed last night, and i overhear two of the boys talking about yesterdaay

me: "so, you helped in the kitchen last night?"

IMMEDIATELY: "IT WASNT ME I JUST DID THE FRYERS LAST NIGHT"

me: "I DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING YET"

i accidentally tripped over a gas line while trying to clean behind the stove and made a loud fear noise and the kid helping me clean the kitchen goes "dude your screams scare me. They remind me of when i accidentally step on my dog's tail"

the Real Adult in charge went to go give someone a break in another store and I'm chilling in ours for a bit and 5 mins one of the girls rushes up to me like "DID YOU KNOW WE HAVE AN ATTIC?"

I did. I have never seen the attic so I go check it out and there's already like three of them up there

me: the fuck are you guys doing???

clerk: they wanna do the grimace challenge up there

one of them has never heard of vampires

update about this one because another coworker wouldnt let it go: he insists he's Heard of them but thought they were, quote, "like, really big bats"

Clerk 1: dude don't mix that isn't it like toxic? What are the chemicals you're not supposed to mix--

me: WHAT'S IN THE SINK.

Clerk 2: We're trying to clean the sink

me: Which cleaners did you MIX

Clerk 3: All of it

me: DRAIN IT.

[one brief emergency explanation about never mixing cleaners and what mustard gas is]

Clerk 1: oh yeah didn't they use that during like world war two

Me: yeah man it's like, a war crime now. It's just such a horrible way to die that we can't use it anymore

Clerk 2: wait fr???

Clerk 3: ohh. What about opium?

Me: ...what?

Clerk 3: like the opium war.

Me:

[one brief emergency explanation about what the opium war was later]

Explained to the two boys helping me in the kitchen why we submerge our lettuce at night to help it keep. They proceed to have a conversation where one is absolutely messing with the other by trying to convince him that both lettuce and reptiles are living things that need to be soaked to survive, and are therefore related. he speaks with so much conviction and just keeps doubling down and the other one just gets increasingly angrier and I'm just trying not to crack up over the fryers

and then the exasperated kid whirls around at me and goes "IS LETTUCE REPTILES???" and I lose my fucking mind

I run this place with one other person who i Do Not Like and the kids are well aware of our stupid restaurant manager beef and love to gossip

They keep moving shit to inconvenient locations and I hate it and keep having to move shit back, then once on my day off they decided to call in help and move my Entire Fucking Kitchen around and I was real fucking pressed about it for like the rest of the week (put off opening the next morning to move all the big ass machines and fryers back my damned self to establish territory or whatever)

A week later one of the really sweet girls who helps me in the kitchen goes "hey I have a confession. me and (other kid) were there while they were moving your kitchen and we knew you'd hate it. I was going to say something"

"Oh no worries, it's not really your responsibility to go between us like that"

"no no, I was going to tell her to at least ask you about it first but then I was like 'hmmm....let's see how this plays out'. for the drama."

"...ok I guess I should probably be mad but that's actually really fucking funny"

today i turned around and saw this

every time I see One Piece women I think of this

Bart likes hugging with all the strength of the speed force but it’s alright cause his best friends have super strength. Well…most of them

“how could you have forgotten that” i forget Everything. unless i remember

"how can you remember that" I remember Everything. unless I forget

If any of you have articles of clothing with fake pockets or no pockets or barely any pockets, here's who to blame

Fuck you

Everyone say Fuck You Brenda!

Happy international throw brenda into a volcano day

put spikes on your wheelchair's handles. wrap barbed wire around your cane or crutch so it'll hurt like a motherfucker if someone kicks or grabs it from under your hand. wear a personal alarm and pull the pin every time someone moves you without your consent, leans on your chair, takes a seat on your rollator, taps your hearing aid, steals your AAC device. scream for help when you're abducted. wail like you're in agony when people trip you up or knock into you. take pepper spray to the grocery store. take a knife to the club. leave cards that say "fuck you" under the wipers of inconsiderately parked cars and scratch access codes for bathrooms on the outside of the door. we are not begging for mercy, we're fighting dirty. we have to.

someone grabbed my wheelchair today and then shouted "ouch! there's spikes!"

YEAH!! GET FUCKED !!!!!!

I witnesses someone trying to shove a wheelchair user because they felt the wheelchair wasn't going fast enough, I guess. Not even a second later, this asshole is screaming in pain because the handles had razor wire on them the back of the wheelchair had a sign saying "do not touch."

NGL, I was laughing and gave the wheelchair user a nod. They just kept on going after a nod and wink at me. Fucking amazing.

When I was in hs, I had to use crutches a few times. Classmates though it was funny to kick them while I'm standing. Soooo I glues nails on the bottom 18 inches or so. Two students screaming and yelling resulted in no one kicking them again.

Do not fuck with mobility devices. They are an extension of our body. If you decide to violate our boundaries, be prepared for retaliation, much like if someone shoved or pushed you. Keep yourself to yourself.

this was cute until i realized the fish is probably trying to not get eaten

A fish trying not to get eaten wouldn’t slow down when the “predator” slows down. It also wouldn’t constantly swim in a circle near the edge of the tank; It’d try hiding. Also a fish in a tank in a a public place that is constantly filled with people is not likely to see people as predators.

Animals, I think people tend to forget, also enjoy playing.

yeah that fish is absolutely playing with that kid, if it really wanted to escape it would just dive into the reef in the center of the tank!

(Moorish Idols are reef fish and naturally will seek shelter in the nearest nook or cranny if they get scared.)

many people don’t realize this, but fish aren’t stupid animals! most of them are on par with mammals like mice and squirrels in terms of intelligence, and they absolutely do play.

I was at an aquarium a few years ago and decided to sketch a fish. It came up to me.

I decided to flip the book around and pressed it against the glass. Fish lost it

Swam away then came back with MORE FISH

to this day I love those little sketches and I really love how I got the fish to bring me it’s friends

Hi! Professional marine biologist and aquarist here- fish absolutely play, and not only that, can be trained.

I accidentally trained a fish once through playing.

Let me explain.

The small-time aquarium I worked at about 4 years ago had a decent sized female Sheephead. Sheephead are bright red with the males sporting a black head, and get big. I’m talking almost 1m long at full maturity (and may or may not transition from female to male depending on the number of males present). Point is, even though not fully matured, this Sheephead was a bit of a heavyweight in her kelp forest tank with a length of about 1ft making her the resident Biggest Dog In The Yard. And she absolutely knew it. She would bully her tankmates if she wanted to steal their food.

The thing about this Sheephead- let’s call her Red- is that she had one heck of a ‘tude. Red was known to splash aquarists whenever they fed the tank, and at almost a foot long with a wide tail, her splashes had quite a bit of heft and would soak you from the torso down. We were advised to bring a towel or two to protect ourselves from most of the drenching. When it was my go-around to feed Red’s tank, I was fairly new to the little facility, but I had been warned in advance of Red’s penchant for food thievery. I noticed she would follow my hand movements, so I slowly moved to drop her food in a far corner, and fed her tankmates directly from my hands or by tong if they were too deep. I always made sure Red had plenty to eat, but I didn’t want her to associate the food with bad behavior, so I treated her to a bit extra food whenever she didn’t steal food. One day, she made a beeline to the surface so fast that she did a small jump, her entire head breaching the water. She wasn’t bothering her tankmates or doing anything remotely dangerous- and full disclosure, it was cute seeing a fish jump for joy- so I laughed and gave her another piece of food.

Naturally, positive reinforcement led to her connecting the dots that jumping at the surface, even the tiny jumps she was doing, meant she got more food.

This started to become an everyday occurrence, whenever I was assigned to feed Red’s tank. She would jump, just enough for her head to pop out, then she’d wait patiently for me to give her the treat she CLEARLY earned. It even got to the point that she’d open her mouth and I’d drop the food right into those massive jaws- this was preferable to her Kenghis Khan-ing her way through a shower of chopped squid like the Tasmanian Devil, as there was less risk of her accidentally (or purposefully) biting a tankmate that got too close. Red became a polite eater for the first time.

It wasn’t until I noticed she followed me around outside of feeding time that I realized Red was playing with me.

I never got splashed by Red even once. My coworkers, however, received quite the dunking whenever it was their turn to feed the kelp tank.

There are many benefits to being a marine biologist

I’ve been working on comissions for so long sorry babes but here THIS KLANCE THAT AOSKDNDEIJW😭❤️❤️

only contribution to the blue beetle fans untill further notice.

but you see her on instagram and it was never really said that you guys aren’t friends but one day she stopped answering and you stopped texting and it’s not like the wound is a cavern but it is a diagram of what if in red letters. you want to tell her nice lipstick that’s a good color but the last time you spoke it was stilted and awkward 

how do you say goodbye, you know? it’s not an unfriend and block kind of situation. but you watch the people you once loved go on and have a life and you’re outside of it. and it’s bittersweet because of course it’s okay that you’re both thriving. but she used to be who you’d call if you needed to cry. she used to be who’d you’d be binge watching the new series with. you used to be hers, in a way, even if that way wasn’t permanent. and now she’s someone else and so are you and your friendship is clicking heart shapes next to pictures where she smiles next to people you’ve never met. you know where her birthmark is. she knows where you’ve buried your dead.

the poets and the singers and the authors write about romantic love when it ends. but nobody tells you how to get over a friend.

Babe, you okay? you reblogged “and we were nice to each other” like 12 times again

i drew this comic more than 10 years ago :) couldnt even tell u who i was thinking of now cuz i hardly remember… cant believe it resonated with so many people!!!

i've been practising background and light. Also this pic sparked the movement me and my gf call "balkan gotham"

rights received

gay rights pt2

Pt 3

THE AGE OF PINING IS OVER

Just saw the blue beetle movie and here’s my thoughts

Spoiler free: It was great. 10/10 movie, it was really fun and definitely one of my favourite superhero movies, maybe even my favourite live action superhero movie.

With spoilers:

you’re twelve years old and you break your father’s hand when he hi-fives you. the first thing you learn is that the smallest slip up can hurt the people you love. your (foster) father smiles and says it’s okay (it’s not). 

your parents are not your parents. the idyllic farming community that raised you is not your home. you’re a You-Don’t-Know-What from You-Don’t-Know-Where. all you know for sure is that you’re not human. 

so you can fly. so you can run fast. so you can lift cars. so what? why do you even have this power? what should you even do with it? 

your father said do what’s right, so that’s what you do. 

you stop a robbery. the man’s knife shatters against your skin and you see the same fear in his eyes that you saw in your father’s when you were twelve. you catch a falling child before it can hit the water. his mother looks at you like you’re a god. 

they love you, even though they don’t know you. the most powerful man in the world hates you because they love you. 

you wanted to write when you were younger. you wanted to tell stories that needed to be told. you never wanted to star in them. you never wanted super-geniuses and demi-goddesses looking to you for advice; like you have any idea how to handle threats to reality itself. you’re just a kid from smallville who’s trying to do the best he can with what he’s given. 

you try and get back to the farm as much as you can. it feels normal being back among the open wheat; where everyone smiles because you’re that nice Kent boy. 

when you were younger, you pretended to fly, hands out to your sides and running through the tall grass by the river. it doesn’t look as beautiful from on high; the details get lost and the colors of your hometown blur together from a mile above ground. 

the problem with flying is that it puts you so far above people you care about

“oh but Superman is such a boring c-“ shut up shut up shut up forever.

One of the keys to Bruce and Clark’s friendship is Bruce going ‘powers shmowers you think your godlike strength makes you infallible and above people? You’re just some dude in a cape. Who’s an idiot.’

Clark: Oh thank God. This guy gets it.

Bruce *expecting arrogance*: wait what

Clark: yesterday I accidentally locked myself out of my apartment in my underwear trying to get the mail and I forgot I could just break the door open. I stood there for an hour waiting for the locksmith to open before I remembered.

Bruce:….

Clark: I’M AN IDIOT OK, I’m just a guy, I have no idea what I’m doing

Bruce: I hate how endearing this is. Stop making me like you

Clark: if I get my mom to make you lemon squares will you teach me how to pick a lock

Bruce: I SAID STOP

:p

Bang Chan ✧ Slump 230903

Funny how different of a character Luffy becomes when he has. Like. Irises.

He’s so •_• Giving him normal people eyes makes him look EXTRA 👁️_👁️ somehow