square bob sponge pants

learn to laugh at yourself

Dean you fucking nutcase

almost as wacky as when craig made toast

fucking ledge, dean

do u ever see someone who has the looks & style that you wish u had bc it’s ur ideal appearance and it makes u wanna shoot urself in the face bc me too

wicbkxjsndbxksbdkbdbdjsbjsbsjb

when u show ur parents an Amusing Thing on ur phone and they like “who is that? who wrote that? did ur friend take that pic? whos pet is that? where is that?” like i dont KNow fam its just floating around cyberspace and i caught it in my Blog Net and bestowed the Amusing Thing upon ur eyes i dont know the specifics my guy

Heelys are the perfect shoes for a date

heres the realest shit ever: literally no one is going to pressure you to do drugs in high school

literally no one

an encounter i had in 10th grade in a bathroom

person: hey we’re about to smoke some pot do you want some?

me: nah i got a test in like 20 minutes i just have to pee

person: alright good luck

actual highschool party I’ve been to 

person: I brought beer!

people: aaaaaaa yyyyeeeaaahhh

person: want some?!?!

Me: no I don’t drink

person: GOOD MORE FOR US HERE’S SOME SODA

On the bus: Dude: Do you want a cigarette? Me: Dude I’m asthmatic. I’d die. Dude: Okay, cool, cool.

6th period math: 

friend: hey, you want a weed brownie?

me: nah I’m good. 

friend: cool.

Lunch

Some girl: You guys wanna smoke weed in the stairwell??

Us: not really

Girl: Okay friends, if you want any later my name’s Zoey, i always sit here

Guy: do you want a cigarette?

Me: I don’t smoke

Guy: good, don’t start

(that happened on multiple occasions with different people)

Seriously I was pressured into reading the Twilight books 1000x more than any drugs or alcohol

The last one

^^^

when you meet a bunch of relatives who claim to remember you

Fort Lauderdale mom and son arrested for meth fueled shoplifting spree at the Dollar Tree

people that can swim underwater in chlorine pools with their eyes open are not to be trusted

Being ugly is poppin cause ya phone doesn’t blow up all the time and ya battery lasts long.

who the fuck genuinely enjoys the taste of sour candy who the fuck says “im going to eat this sugary sweet coated in pain salt and im gonna fucking like it”

Me.

Feed Me The Pain Salt

[x/x]

tyler joseph singing drunk in love and can’t help falling in love appreciation post

taking a test you never studied for 

ME TOO

someone: hey are u getting enough sleep?

me: *injecting coffee directly into my veins* why do u ask?