the worlds most shy animal has just built up enough courage to sniff you

Oh fuuuuck. Oh fuck dude. I just got bit by a fucking clam and tonight's the full moon

nobody on this site is ever ever EVER going to top running a blog dedicated entirely to posting cute pics of sweet old dogs in a shelter for a year and gradually becoming one of the most recognized blogs on the website, then without warning dropping “i just want to get dicked down again =/” with 0 explanation and abandoning the blog. not deleting it, not explaining anything, just leaving the whole thing as a monument. fucking flawless posting. literally the best of all time.

Don’t forget the absolute cherry on top that was reaching out to the actual dog shelter to tell them their tumblr account got hacked, only for them to say, “We’ve never had a tumblr account”

as funny as “those are his hooves you bitch” I’m mad that it overshadows that lil wayne really did have socks on in a jacuzzi 

can y'all stop just throwing random words together and expecting us to understand it

you had to be there

this post makes me so angry bc the socks in the jacuzzi was literally overshadowed again. the point of this post is now that someone doesn’t know about the socks not the socks themselves. maybe we aren’t allowed to discuss it

Vivaldi played by the South African elementary school Goede Hoop Marimba Band

Turn ON the sound

AMAZING

Slow down, turn on the sound and take a couple of minutes to enjoy this!

I love this so much! The best part is, Vivaldi spent a big portion of his life teaching music to young girls, so he would have appreciated this as well, I'm sure :}

The parties are not the same

The parties are not the same

The parties are not the same

I added the numbers in a high-visibility way in case the image was hard to read for people.

This is insane.

This is your reminder that the GOP fully supports white supremacy. Republicans are Fascists. The Republican party is a Fascist party.

To be fair if they got rid of all the racists from the military we wouldn’t have a military so I am sure that’s a big concern for them. 

tv appreciation week 2022  📺  favorite tv character of all time

I take a two year break from tumblr and when I get back all blogs are deleted and there's just one post from staff that says CROATOAN

The number of people here who assume this is a fandom post before assuming it's just about the historical event is staggeringly nonzero

the aesthetic of american far right christianity is horrifying

run-down signs screaming about hell in the middle of nowhere is my aesthetic though

You don’t know true pants-shitting fear until you’re driving in the middle of nowhere, not a single sign of civilization as far as the eye can see, haven’t seen another living being in three hours, and then out of nowhere suddenly looms a half-destroyed barn with the words “HELL IS REAL” painted on what remains of the roof.

I’ll be honest, you could say most of these were from a horror game and I wouldn’t doubt you. 

Implying America isn’t a horror game lately.

America isn’t a game. It is just a horror.

Visible from i-40, between Interstate 40 and old Route 66, the Groom, TX cross

Englewood Ohio

@saathi1013

#i feel like you would appreciate this

YEP.

hey so fun fact about that last one

it’s located right by the I-75 highway and anyone driving in or out of cincinnati could see it from the road and it was horrifying the first time i saw it because i felt like i was about to die.

the statue was called king of kings, but i only ever heard it referred to as touchdown jesus. just imagine yourself kicking a football through those lofty open arms…..ohio 1, satan 0.

in 2010 touchdown jesus was very sadly struck by lightning and burned down, possibly because so many heathens were calling him touchdown jesus and imagining playing football with the lord. or possibly because that’s just what happens when you build a giant styrofoam and fiberglass statue next to an artificial pond on a hill in the middle of rural ohio.

fortunately our good friends down in englewood have contingency plans for god’s wrath and the end of the world, so they built a new statue named lux mundi. unfortunately, lux mundi is not as amped to play football.

but he does look like he’s down for hugs.

RIP, touchdown jesus. we miss you. 😢

The skeletal remains of touchdown Jesus is one of the more horrifying things I’ve seen.

There’s a now-deteriorating mosaic in Huntsville, AL that all the locals affectionately call eggbeater Jesus.

On the note of Touchdown Jesus, he also went by the nickname of Big Butter Jesus, and there’s even a song to go with it!

Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched “Poison Boots” and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chino’s foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking “How many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for me”. 

There should be a blog dedicated to theatrical urban legends. Like that opening weekend of Dracula where Dracula (still hungover) vomited all over the audience during the first stage direction that everyone has a friend of a friend that worked on the show and was there.

or the one where the bridge never came out for Javert’s suicide and so he just pretended to stab himself and then lay there until the lights went out

best story i heard was when a friend of mine saw a show where juliet forgot to bring the dagger out on stage so she just ripped the squib out of her chest and blood squirted everywhere

During a passion play a friend of my brother was supposedly in, one of the roman soldiers who was supposed to stab jesus on the cross and accidentally grabbed the wrong spear- he was supposed to grab one with a fake tip, but instead he grabbed one with an actual metal tip and, well

Jesus screamed “JESUS CHRIST YOU STABBED ME”.

Since that Jesus had to be taken down due to a bad case of stab-itis, the backup Jesus came in, but he weighed significantly less than the original Jesus- which would have been fine, except that at the end the cross was supposed to ascend upwards with Jesus on it, and the weights hadn’t been adjusted.

So Jesus, instead, ROCKETED UP into heaven (or, just, above the stage).

This is wild from start to finish

I was in Peter Pan once and one night at a performance, the adhesive holding our Hook’s mustache on was wearing off. It was near the end with a big fight scene and when he got attacked, he let his mustache fall and went “YOU RIPPED MY MUSTACHE OFF!” in a scandalized tone and it added a new note of hilarity to the whole scene (which was supposed to be funny anyway)

In my seventh grade play, which was a midsummer night’s dream, Thisbe didn’t have a sword so she stabbed herself with a coathanger

My junior year we were doing Romeo and Juliet and after Juliet poisons herself it was supposed to go dark and she’d get off the stage. well the light crew accidentally turned them back on and Juliet who was sitting up slammed back down on the wooden bed with a loud bang. To which my theater teacher says into the com “zombie Juliet” and everyone who heard that had to keep as quiet as possible while our eyes were filling with tears.

i attended my county’s performing arts high school majoring in vocal studies, (mostly geared towards musical theater and opera styles) and once a year we got a field trip to new york (we were in jersey, so it’s not exactly far). we would do one touristy thing, an actor’s workshop with friends of our teachers working in various performing industries in nyc, and then see a show. 

my first year doing this, our industry contacts were 1 actor, 1 casting director, and 1 producer to get different aspects of the business, and they all gave us amazing advice and told fantastic stories. the actor in question was Zazu on Broadway’s The Lion King for several years, and told the best story by far.

in The Lion King, there are only two pieces of pre-recorded noise in the whole show. one, when Pumbaa does a MASSIVE fart while fighting the hyenas, and the other being Mufasa saying REMEMBERRRRRR as Simba climbs Pride Rock. the actor told us while struggling not to laugh that, during one night’s performance, someone forgot to flip the tape of these pre-recorded noises.

so, at the end of the show, the great climax where Simba finally accepts his place in the Circle of Life, the heavens parted and-

PFFFFFFFFFRRRRRBTFTBTBFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

everyone froze. and then all ran off stage positively HOWLING with laughter.

the lesson: sometimes there are fuck ups you just can’t recover from.

During a high school production of Beauty and the Beast, where I was assistant costumer and assistant prop master, our director decided that we needed to spice up Gaston’s introduction. You know: in the movie, when Lefou runs in trying to catch the duck/goose that Gaston has just shot out of the sky?

Originally, the actors were going to stroll on stage with our Lefou hauling in the really neat (and real!) taxidermied deer head that we had found in a local thrift store. Now, two days before opening night, our director wants Lefou to run in from off stage and catch a stuffed duck that Gaston has just shot. This, of course, requires two things to work properly as a scene: a gunshot noise, and a stuffed duck.

The gunshot noise, we had covered. Blue-collar, redneck school? Guns a plenty to record. The stuffed duck? Harder than you might have thought to obtain.

Three hunting stores, two taxidermists, and one Pet Supply Store ™, I’d finally found a semi-realistic pheasant squeaky toy. What follows is an account of the ways this dog toy managed to be the nightmare prop of the six show run.

Opening Night: The stagehand, who was supposed to drop the bird from the ceiling catwalk, missed his cue and didn’t drop the it. Lefou’s actor rolls with it and does an excellent job of looking around foolishly before getting cuffed upside the head by Gaston. The stagehand then drops the bird squarely on Gaston’s head. Cue laughter.

Saturday Matinee: Different stagehand throws the bird instead of dropping it and beans Lefou directly in the face with the prop. Lefou falls over. Cue laughter.

Saturday Night: Bird is missing during curtain call. Director hauls the deer head down from it’s place on the tavern wall and tells Gaston and Lefou to revert to the old blocking i.e. no gunshot, no bird, just walk in with trophy. During Gaston and Lefou’s conversation, gun shot sound goes off and a stagehand throws the bird onto the stage…from the wrong side of the stage. Lefou and Gaston stare at it in awkward silence for a solid thirty seconds before Lefou makes off-script, subtle joke about Gaston’s gun going off late instead of early. Cue adults in the audience laughing.

Sunday Matinee: Director begs the stagehands to get the cue right at least once. Gunshot and bird prop go off without a hitch. Lefou accidentally catches the prop when it falls from the catwalk. He’s so startled that he caught it that Gaston runs right in to him. They drop both the gun and the bird props, and grab the wrong prop in their scramble. Gaston spends the rest of the scene gesturing dramatically with a stuffed pheasant, instead of a gun.

Sunday Night:  Director is fed up with bird prop, decides that Lefou should just carry bird prop in after gunshot happens off stage. Lefou accidentally squeezes the prop during the intro conversation, startling both actors into silence with the squeaky toy noise - apparently, neither of them realized it was a dog toy.

Monday Elementary School Show: Lefou walks on stage with the bird. Accidentally drops the prop during conversation with Gaston. Gaston doesn’t notice the dropped prop and steps on it. Cue depressingly sad squeaky toy noise. Cue ten years olds laughing.

I was in Twelfth Night during high school and we were lucky enough to have identical twin girls playing Viola and Sebastian. Due to the blocking in the first half of the play, their characters didn’t appear on stage together but rather almost consecutively one after the other for a majority of the first act.

It was awesome because when people saw the play and didn’t know the girls were identical twins, it literally looked like it was one actor doing multiple, uber fast costume changes.

One of our first performances was for our peers and it was a big school so lots of people didn’t know the twins. This - for some reason - was also the performance they chose to record.

Listening to the confusion of the audience during the playback was fantastic and completely topped by the moment Viola walked off stage left just as Sebastian walked on stage right and someone right beside the camera goes “OH WHAT THE FUCK” so loudly it drowned out everything else.

The best thing? That was the copy of the play that was made available for purchase by family and parents. Haha.

Oh my god. I went to one of the Spiderman shows where he flew out above the audience and then got stuck and had to awkwardly hang there for about 10 minutes, but these stories are brilliant.

okay so, my senior year of high school and I’m part of the stage crew for Peter Pan. There’s a scene where Hook and Smee are searching for Peter and the Lost Boys. Now the theater department at my high school isn’t very well funded (in the southern USA, football is king), so the sets we managed to make were pretty kickass for the money we had. We had a structure painted like a big tree stump for the entrance to the Lost Boys’ hideout. You could climb to the top of it, but also go inside it through a trap door that we kept locked up during most of the play.

It’s like our third show and everything has been going surprisingly well. Hook and Smee climb to the top of the “tree trunk”, supposedly looking for Peter and not knowing they’re standing above his hiding spot the whole time.

Turns out someone didn’t close the trapdoor properly, because the second Hook steps on it, he plunges through the thing. He’s able to catch himself, but he’s got his ass and one leg dangling through this hole where it’s like a ten foot drop to the ground. All of us stage crew are literally two feet away from him offstage, just gaping at him because???? Y'all this fall looked BAD. Looked like my dude did the splits in mid air. The whiplash caused his fucking wig to come off. The audience is dead silent, all of us backstage are dead silent, the director is like already looking up how to treat a broken groin.

The kid who was playing Hook was like a fuckin sophomore and he KILLED it. He gave himself a second to catch his breath, never broke character, just looked up at his castmate and growled “Smee, you fool, help me up!”. He ended up playing off the wig thing as an embarrassing comedic bit for Hook, and the play went on. He was completely fine. It was the best thing I’d ever seen.

There was an infamous performance of the opera Don Giovanni where in the last act Giovanni was suppose to be dragged into hell via trapdoor but the overweight actor got stuck, leading someone from the audience to shout: “Hey everyone, Hell’s full!!” 

I’m pretty sure I’ve reblogged this before but the Lefou story has me in tears every time.

As someone who did Tech stuff in High school for 4 years, Lefou!

I was a costumer on a stage version of Titanic, and in the scene where the women and children are getting in the lifeboats, one of the men (who was supposed to be saying goodbye to his wife he knows he will never see again because his is about to die), realized his fake mustache was falling off and instead of playing it cool… he rips it off his face, and hands it to his wife with the line “Something to remember me by”…it was the funniest thing that I have ever seen in my 8 years in theatre, the entire cast lost their shit laughing at the most dramatic moment possible

I am laughing so hard I’ve been crying for ten minutes. Thank you

I don’t have anything to add other than I saw a recording of a community (I think) production of Into The Woods and the Milky White prop died too early and everyone stares dumbly at the fallen over cow.

I think Jack ran over and adlibed something about, “I know it’s hard but don’t give up, Milky White!” while righting the prop.

My high school had a rogue director who seemed to choose obscure shows on purpose, and had us do a theatrical adaptation of one of the old Pink Panther movies, where I was incongruously and rather insensitively cast as the Chinese bodyguard, Cato (I am very female and very white).

Anyway, during one scene, I was supposed to be handed a ticking package that was very clearly a bomb sent by the villain. I would gingerly run offstage with the thing held at arm’s length before there was the sound of an explosion and a large puff from our smoke machine. Well, one night the smoke machine malfunctioned before the package even got delivered and smoke started filling the stage. Inspector Clouseau, without missing a beat, started ranting about how I was always burning his dinner.

During a college production of Jesus Christ Superstar, the cross started to tilt during the crucifixion scene. All of us in the audience were holding our breath, willing it to stay in place, but to no avail. The cross, with Jesus firmly attached, keeled over ¾ of the way through the scene. The actor (who wasn’t hurt, thank goodness) continued on as if nothing had happened. Unfortunately, the next line was, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” Yeah, we all lost it.

Tobey Maguire Spider-Man "it's a hard knock life" fancam hours

How does it feel to have conceptualized the perfect Spider-Man trailer op

if you had asked me as a child what colour the sky was, i would have confidently said blue and yellow. because i grew up on the baltic coast next to one of the most travelled ship routes of the world, and the unfiltered sulfur pouring out of the exhausts of nearly a hundred cargo ships every day turned into a thick layer of sickly yellow laying over the horizon. especially on sunny summer days, it settled of the sea like the cheap imitation of a sunset, out of place during the bright daylight.

then, from one summer to the next, the yellow slowly but surely faded away. because a new legislation passed - one which heavily penalised airborne ship emissions in the area. and while the silhouettes of ships across the passage never became less frequent, their backdrop was now such a pure blue that its hard to imagine that it was ever different.

i think about this everytime someone tells me that climate legislation doesn't work, everytime a new media story declaring our helplessness in the face of certain environmental doom makes the rounds. don't get me wrong - the situation we are facing in terms of climate change and environmental destruction is certainly terrifying. but everyday, people are working tirelessly to implement law and policy that could change that fact. and because of those people, a newly bright blue sky touches down over the baltic sea. and that has to count for something, i think.

Tumblr should appreciate Two Crabs by Vincent Van Gogh more

It's two crabs, whats not to love

*ahem* may I also add...

Two rats by Vincent Van Gogh

when i was a kid my parents bought me an inflatable doll of the Scream by Edvard Munch (??) that was significantly taller than i was at the time and i used to slow-dance with it and pretend it was my boyfriend. It had its hands attached to its head obviously so it felt like he was always a bit horrified to be forced to dance with me

i didn't need no imaginary friends i had Screaming Joe right here !

I love this website I love it when people tell us what's wrong with them

Is anyone reaching age appropriate milestones anymore or are we all in the soup.

— Douglas Adams (via revolverwife)

[image description: tag that reads “horror.” end image description.]

This hack will save your teeth: there are no “right” and “wrong” times to brush your teeth.

It gets in your head that you brush after eating when you wake up and when you go to sleep. Yeah that’s all well and good, but those are times that don’t have a lot of motivation and control…So just…brush your teeth at a different time. 

You go to the bathroom in the middle of the day and are like “I should brush my teeth” DO IT!!!! Don’t listen to the other half of that sentence that says “shit but it’s not the right time” 

I don’t care if you’re about to eat, or get coffee, or whatever. 

If you are there and you want to…do it. 

Honestly this hack will solve most of problems. Just stop assigning meaningless “right” and “wrong” to tasks and start saying “I can pretty much do whatever I want whenever I want and society and its expectations don’t really matter to me”. 

If there’s no barrier in the first place you don’t have to get over it. 

Ok but my dentist said not to drink soda within 30 min of brushing my teeth so is that true?

I haven’t had a soda (only ever drank diet) in years because now I’m scared it’ll rot my teeth

Yes, it’s true there are ideal times to brush your teeth, but mental illness isn’t ideal. As you get more comfortable and casual with brushing you can plan around brushing but if the question is do it around eating acidic food or never brushing your teeth ever…it’s okay to occasionally brush after coffee, pop/soda, lemon water etc. 

Baby steps. 

If you always remember to brush your teeth when you’re in the shower but never do it at the sink…

put a toothbrush and some toothpaste in the shower.

It’s like. 100 times easier to brush your teeth when you’re already in the shower.

ANGUS, THONGS AND PERFECT SNOGGING 2008, dir. Gurinder Chadha