an autopsy found that the skull was inside of his head the whole time
Cut open his cranial cavity to find a second, smaller skull where his brain should be
Carmen Maria Machado in Queer for Fear: A History of Queer Horror
Stalker (1979) Directed by Andrei Tarkovsky
“the haunted house, like so much gothic fiction, is about the connection of the past and present; the grievous loss that reaches out across the void to reclaim its own. The unexpiated sin that stains the present and exacts its terrible revenge.”
— Dale Bailey, ‘The H Word: Bringing the Horror Home’ (via bluebeardsbride-archive)
Ugh, was having a great time mocking my recently imprisoned rival when I noticed the camera positioning makes it so that I appear behind the bars, thus framing me as trapped in a metaphorical prison of the narrative, now my whole day is ruined. Fuck.
people are so used to online content being curated for their consumption that they forget tumblr isn’t like that… this is my diary. I don’t post for other people. if you find the stuff I post depressing or annoying or too much or u don’t agree or whatever whatever…. that’s fine it’s not For You? it’s for me. there is no audience I’m performing for. feel free to unfollow me if u don’t like, I’m not a carefully crafted online persona I’m a real person
“Unfinished Painting” — Keith Haring
This painting was left intentionally incomplete. Haring began it when he was dying due to complications from AIDS, and knew he didn’t have much time left. The piece represents the incomplete lives of him and many others, lost to AIDS during the crisis.
“AIDS Memorial Quilt” — Multiple
This quilt is over 50 tons heavy, and one of, if not the, largest pieces of community folk art. Many people who died of AIDS did not receive funerals, due to social stigma and many funeral homes refusing to handle the deceased’s remains, so this was one of the only ways their lives could be celebrated. Each panel was created recognition of someone who died due to AIDS, typically by that person’s loved ones.
“Untitled” — Felix Gonzalez-Torres
This pile of candy weighs the same amount as an average adult man. Visitors are encouraged to take some of the candy. As they do so, the pile of candy weighs less and less. This is a commentary on how AIDS deteriorates the body of those who have it, as Gonzalez-Torres’ partner, Ross Laycock, had died due to AIDS-related complications that same year.
The SF Gay Men's Chorus
This photo was taken in 1993. The men in white are the surviving original members. Every man in black is standing in for an original member who lost their lives to AIDS.
“Electric Fan (Feel it Motherfuckers); Only Unclaimed Item from the Stephen Earabino Estate, 1997” — John Boskovich
After the death of his lover, Stephen Earabino, from AIDS, Boskovich discovered that his family had completely cleared his room, including Boskovich’s own possessions, save for this fan. An entire person, existence and relationship had been erased, just like so many lives during the AIDS crisis. Boskovich encased the fan in Plexiglass, but added cutouts so that its air may be felt by the viewer, almost like an exhalation. In a sense, restoring Earabino’s breath.
“Blue” — Derek Jarman
This was Jarman’s final feature film, released four months before his death from AIDS-related complications. These complications had left him visually impaired, able to only see in shades of blue. This film consists of a single shot of a saturated blue color, as the soundtrack to the film described Jarman’s life through narration, intercut with the adventures of Blue, a humanization of the color blue. The film's final moments consist of a set of repeated names: “John. Daniel. Howard. Graham. Terry. Paul". These are the names of former lovers and friends of Jarman who had died due to AIDS.
“Untitled” (Perfect Lovers) — Felix Gonzalez-Torres
Created by the same man who created the previous untitled piece, this piece was also inspired by his lover’s deterioration and death due to AIDS. This piece consists of two perfectly alike clocks. Over the course of time, one of the clocks will fall out of sync with the other.
In a letter written to his lover about the piece, before his lover’s passing, Gonzalez-Tourres wrote, “Don't be afraid of the clocks, they are our time, the time has been so generous to us. We imprinted time with the sweet taste of victory. We conquered fate by meeting at a certain time in a certain space. We are a product of the time, therefore we give back credit were it is due: time. We are synchronized, now forever. I love you.”
Please feel free to reblog with more additions
"Untitled" (March 5th) #2 - Felix Gonzalez-Torres
Cuban-born artist Felix Gonzalez-Torres’s sculptural installations are imbued with details of his life. On March 5, 1991, he lost his partner Ross Laycock to an AIDS-related death. In this work, Gonzales-Torres conjures a couple through a pair of gradually extinguishing lightbulbs, an artwork that quietly commemorates his partner’s passing and makes a larger reference to the AIDS epidemic. Gonzalez-Torres’s own premature death due to AIDS five years later adds an additional narrative dimension to the work: viewers bear witness to both artist and partners’ lives and losses through the two nestling bulbs hanging from entwined cords. In accordance with the artist's wishes, when the lightbulbs in this work are extinguished, they must be replaced.
(information via Cleveland Museum of Art)
the fucked up thing is that i’ve been in this exact situation and actually felt some measure of beauty in the world. but only when the streets are empty and the area descends into a time of day when it clearly was not meant to functionally exist. there is a wretched beauty in walking around one of these suburban sprawl commerce zones at night or close to dawn, sitting down at a table like this and basking in the sensation that you own the place. maybe this is an inherited derangement from living most of my life in the midwest suburbs, working late night shifts at a grocery store on a corner exactly like this one. maybe it’s just the only time of day in a place like this when you can be truly alone outside
ilove people who work at front desks of things. i can walk into a building and go to the desk and i ask how do i do this thing. and then they just fucking tell me !!!!
i walked into my college found the first desk and asked hey where do i pay my student fees. did that. ok where i do find the academic advisor? got the general direction, went up to the first desk i saw, asked where to go to drop a class .awesome. went to the bookstore, walked up to the desk, asked how to find out what textbooks i need. and AGAIN they had answers for me. this is so cool thank you desk people
no this is so real actually !! it always feels like you'll be expected to know everything when you do Adult Things but you don't, actually, you just need to know who to ask
Even if you don’t know who to ask, you can just ask who you should ask and someone will either know, or they’ll point you to whoever will be able to answer.
protestantcrona
Uhm, Actually, tenderness ruins what wrath perfects 🙄
Mark Fisher, Ghosts of My Life Writings on Depression, Hauntology and Lost Futures
fun fact! did you know that you can gain extra ‘forbidden time’ by staying up late in the night? but Watch Out
The shoe is a bad miracle. The shoe stands up by random chance. It’s a beautiful thing. A wonderful thing. Surrounded by the horrific incident around it. Jean Jacket is a beautiful creature. A beautiful animal. She causes uncontrollable death and destruction. The shoe stands up and Steven Yeun’s character stares at it because it’s there. Because it’s better than looking at his co-star being brutalized. Because it’s better than looking at a chimp he thought was his friend covered in another person’s blood. The shoe is a miracle in the middle of a horrific incident. Steven Yeun’s character waits for the “other shoe” to drop. It never does. Not until years and years and years later. Not until he believes himself special, and thinks of that shoe as some kind of blessing. He’s the chosen one. He wasn’t. He’s eaten, just like everyone else.
being in yr 20s is like every day is a Try Not To Spend 40$ Challenge and i keep losing
