Tofu

i bet the dick is insane

Banger notes this eve

🤣 what tf

@stellachuu on TT

Omg they got married at the end

tape casette recorders are compatible with literally every. single. thing. im out here living in 2095.

things you can record (audio only), simply by lying to your computer, telling it that the tape recorder is actually a set of headphones:

and with a VCR you could do all of this AND have the visuals as well… but an audio cassette recorder is a good place to start, since they’re small and simple. I would not recommend a boombox, because those are large and nowadays all very, very bad quality.

Now you may be saying “how is any of this helpful, I want a digital file…” here’s the fucking magic. You go into Audacity (free program), and lie to it that the tape recorder is really a microphone. Then you hit record on Audacity, and hit play on the tape, and let it play at regular speed. Trim and export the digital file, and you’re doing gangbusters. You’re cooking with gas. You’re thinking with portals. You’ve won the internet.

Congratulations, you can “pirate”* anything you want, and literally no one can catch you, because you’re not downloading in the traditional sense. You’re streaming to an external device, and that device is recording what it receives. It’s exactly like taping a live tv show to a VHS. This is a very low-key and non-strenuous task for the computer, since your tape recorder does all the work.

*Is this piracy? No. Well- it’s time shifting. Sort of. Tell it to my Steely Dan albums. Tell it to my The Sims: Hot Date VG Soundtrack album.

rb to have a very gay 2022

i think this may just be the greatest string of tweets in the history of mankind

TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST I REMEMBER EVERYTHING BUT READING THESE TWEETS AGAIN AFTER SO MANY MONTHS IT ALMOST FEELS SURREAL LIKE “I CANT BELIEVE THIS PERSON IS ME”

happy 9th anniversary to your dildo fiasco chris grawly!

positive press? for tumblr???? my gd.......

we fucked up its getting more profitable

im losing it right now this is so funny

Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move

Gotta try it

I work (and walk) on a college campus. I’ve lost count of how many men I’ve smacked shoulders with.

Recently, I was standing outside my son’s classroom waiting to talk to his teacher. I stood on one side of the hallway, not even close to the center. At some point, a man came walking along. I was standing right in his path, but the hallway was empty, so I logically expected him to swerve around me. Instead he kept walking right toward me, got to me, and stopped, as if waiting for me to get out of his way. I didn’t; I just smiled politely at him. He finally walked around me, clearly annoyed that I hadn’t leapt out of his manly path.

Now I’m wishing I’d leapt aside, taken off my jacket and laid it on the floor before him, then bowed deeply and said, “My Liege!”

I also work at a college campus. I smack shoulders sometimes, but I find that if I stare straight ahead and follow the advice below, people get the heck out of the way.

Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where I’m the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze.

Confirmed. I once had to rush back inside a convention hall as the con was closing in order to a retrieve a sick friend’s medication, and I didn’t understand why people in the crowd were jumping out of my way (literally—one guy vaulted a table) until I realized I was dressed as the Winter Soldier and doing the Murder Walk because that’s just how I walk in those boots. I got the meds, got out, and made a mental note.

I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston.

I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible.

Moral of the story: wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

WALK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SENT TO MURDER CAPTAIN AMERICA

It’s called the Murder Strut.

IT’S BACK!!!!!! I was searching for this to show my daughter the other day and couldn’t find it. I’m so glad IT’S BACK!! I will always reblog the Murder Strut!!

A guy on a bike went around me because he could tell I had no intention of moving. Thanks to this post.

One day and I bumped into a guy while doing the Murder Strut and he apologized to me even though I was the one who had bumped into him.

It works wonders.

In case you were wondering, yes you can do this in a wheelchair. Same look in your eyes and let ‘em know you will run them down. Just picture yourself in a sports car accelerating towards someone with the intention of flattening them.

If there’s anything more satisfying than watching Abled men leap out of my way when they realize I’m not moving for them, I can’t think of it atm.

Walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

Wheel like you’re gonna win the Indy 500 and don’t care how.

Your crutches are short swords; walk like you can see them buried in the bodies of anyone who crosses (in front of) you.

Tumblr: teaching women how to be Moses and part the fucking Red Sea with the power of their minds.

I had never seen these updates to the Patriarchy Chicken Game before and they are all a goddam DELIGHT

Patriarchy Chicken and The Murder Strut, dance names for the new millenium. 

OH MY GOD I HAD BARELY SCROLLED DOWN THIS POST AND WAS GONNA SAY “JUST TAKE SOME ADVICE FROM ME THAT I LEARNT FROM AN OLD TUMBLR POST ABOUT WALKING LIKE THE WINTER SOLDIER FROM YEARS AGO” BUT THEN IT TURNED OUT TO BE THIS POST

I first discovered this a few years ago when I was an insecure 14-year-old, and since then I indeed do the “murder strut” and staunch everywhere I go, literally works wonders

murder strut works wonders in the airport and school.

Back in HS, other kids would kinda stream behind me like the tail of a comet because I was several inches taller than most of the student population and the Murder Strut was just…how I walked. Amazingly effective.

In case you have forgotten. The Murder Strut works!

this is so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

GODZILLA CONFIRMED GOOD DAD MINILLA CONFIRMED TRANS ICON

I’m definitely not crying over this (fucking amazing, seriously, this is so good) Godzilla stop-motion.

< I want Godzilla to be my dad <3

And the official Godzilla account shared it!

Because Godzilla is offcially a Trans Ally <3

Godzilla is gonna melt transphobes with his radioactive flame breath like a hero <3

El girito final ma matao

they could've done so many good things with this, but they chose the worst thing ever to be witnessed. truly upsetting.

"Aw! They're gonna make tiny burgers! How cute!"

"Look at them all lined up for assembly! What a fun activi-Wait. Why are you-STOP!"

Made me go 😀🙂🙁😕😟

If you are having a bad day, please unmute.

(Huskie puppy doesn’t quite get the howling thing. Sounds like a baby babbling.)

“Banana!”

* day is fixed* 

ok. i super needed this.

THIS. The whole world should watch this.

I too suffer from melancholia and require a hot older woman to walk the shoreline and do gay stuff with me

The Mayor of Wife City for Tuesday, September 21, 2021 is Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

<3 The lucky woman who won this beautiful ladies heart is living the dream of every goth girl out there and I am both jealous and proud of her <3

What baffles me is that she was worried fans would be disappointed if she wasn't straight "like she's supposed to be." Ma'am. There is nothing straight about any of this.

In all seriousness though it’s kind of heartbreaking that even with how much she is beloved by her fans, she was anxious that they would turn on her if she wasn’t heterosexual like

Elvira is a beloved horror icon, her fanbase loves her, she’s inspired countless loving homages and hell she’s even been adapted into her very own movie and her own comics by more than one publisher and she knows just how big a fanbase there is that fricking adores her

But she still had that feeling of “If I come out I won’t be accepted”

That kind of perfectly sums up how scary it is for so many of us to come out. When many of us come out are friends and loved ones ask us “Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” but the fact is it’s because it’s fucking terrifying for many of us to think our friends and our own family will hate us if we tell them that we’re not cishet 

Which just makes me even happier that there has been so much love and support and positivity about her coming out and I hope she gets to see lots of these lovely messages sharing how much we love knowing that she’s part of the LGBTQ community and has found love with this lucky lady <3

Love this professor Potato🥔🤓

October can’t come soon enough

IT IS AUGUST

This has been in my likes since last year. It is time.

This is the 21st night of September skeleton. He only appears once a year.

IT’S TIME

my dad–also a writer–came to visit, and i mentioned that the best thing to come out of the layoff is that i’m writing again. he asked what i was writing about, and i said what i always do: “oh, just fanfic,” which is code for “let’s not look at this too deeply because i’m basically just making action figures kiss in text form” and “this awkward follow-up question is exactly why i don’t call myself a writer in public.”

he said, “you have to stop doing that.”

“i know, i know,” because it’s even more embarrassing to be embarrassed about writing fanfic, considering how many posts i’ve reblogged in its defense.

but i misunderstood his original question: “fanfic is just the genre. i asked what you’re writing about.” 

i did the conversational equivalent of a spinning wheel cursor for at least a minute. i started peeling back the setting and the characters, the fic challenge and the specific episode the story jumps off from, and it was one of those slow-dawning light bulb moments. “i’m writing about loneliness, and who we are in the absence of purpose.”

as, i imagine, are a lot of people right now, who probably also don’t realize they’re writing an existential diary in the guise of getting television characters to fuck. 

“that’s what you’re writing. the rest is just how you get there, and how you get it out into the world. was richard iii really about richard the third? would shakespeare have gotten as many people to see it if it wasn’t a story they knew?”

so, my friends: what are you writing about?

Well….. fuck…now that you put it that way….

the other night my friends and i played around with phasmophobia’s local in game chat

featuring pepsiman

the fact that it’s muffled because they’re upstairs made me scream laugh

╭ ◜◝ ͡ ◝ ͡◜◝  ╮ (                      ) (        milfs       )   (                   )     ╰     ͜      ╯                       O                     o                              °      〃∩　∧＿∧     ⊂⌒（ ´・ω・）      ｀ヽ_っ＿/￣￣￣/ 　          　   ＼/＿＿＿/

It’s dark in here- *gasps in excitement* OHH SARAH!

OHH SARAH! *giggles like a little kid* OHhHhH!!

My ceiling is filled with blue lights… and stars and everything!!

OH Sarah! I can go to bed at night looking at this. OHHHH it’s beautiful!

ppl forget the innocence of the elderly… if there was ever a glimpse of them as a child, this is it

“I can go to bed at night looking at this!” 🥺✨

I love grandmothers. I miss mine every single day. This is beautiful.

I have one! I’ll deadass be in my room with it on listening to music and disassociating for hours 😂

It has a buncha colors but these are my faves

Purple bc insanely gorgeous 100/10 just beautiful

Then the light blue/green makes me feel like I’m underwater, 11/10 love to imagine I’m drowning

And then dark blue bc it feels like I’m in space, 10/10 would love to go there and stop breathing

@haileyhurts where did you get it?

I would love to cry my eyes out in a room this pretty

@yanderrre you can just go to galaxylight.com or if you dont feel like typing: shorturl.link/galaxy

My cat trips balls when I use mine 😂 the stars are lasers so she goes nuts thinking it’s a 1000 laser light toys!! Still cracks me up every time

Same energy