if he’s talking too much, sit on his face

if he’s too quiet, peg him

Sorry for picturing you covered in blood. It will happen again.

IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA S09E10 – “The Gang Squashes Their Beefs”

Shout out to everyone who is just so tired So so exhausted So very very tired so very fatigued so sleepy and tired So

This was my actual favorite part of working in a theater. People would come in and use a string of words no human had ever uttered and I’d have to be like “ohhhhkay let’s parse this out.”

When we had Moonlight: Moonshine, Moonrise, Midnight, Nightlight, Nighttime, Twilight

My favorite in recent memory, though: “The Big Sick” = “The Fat Bad”

Don’t… Don’t movie theaters have…the names of the movies… Right… There?

Ah, see, the problem here is that you’re making the common mistake of assuming people bother to read anything. At all. At any given point. When in the presence of customer service worker.

me, going to bed at 1am: okay so we can fit the plot twist into chapter fourteen and introduce the love interest a couple chapters before that, and their first line is also going to be the last line of the book but in different context as mirroring, and we’re going to switch perspectives halfway through

me, opening my laptop in the morning: what is a Word

Reblog if it is okay to start talking to you.

^_^

Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move

Gotta try it

I work (and walk) on a college campus. I’ve lost count of how many men I’ve smacked shoulders with.

Recently, I was standing outside my son’s classroom waiting to talk to his teacher. I stood on one side of the hallway, not even close to the center. At some point, a man came walking along. I was standing right in his path, but the hallway was empty, so I logically expected him to swerve around me. Instead he kept walking right toward me, got to me, and stopped, as if waiting for me to get out of his way. I didn’t; I just smiled politely at him. He finally walked around me, clearly annoyed that I hadn’t leapt out of his manly path.

Now I’m wishing I’d leapt aside, taken off my jacket and laid it on the floor before him, then bowed deeply and said, “My Liege!”

I also work at a college campus. I smack shoulders sometimes, but I find that if I stare straight ahead and follow the advice below, people get the heck out of the way.

Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where I’m the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze.

Confirmed. I once had to rush back inside a convention hall as the con was closing in order to a retrieve a sick friend’s medication, and I didn’t understand why people in the crowd were jumping out of my way (literally—one guy vaulted a table) until I realized I was dressed as the Winter Soldier and doing the Murder Walk because that’s just how I walk in those boots. I got the meds, got out, and made a mental note.

I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston.

I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible.

Moral of the story: wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

WALK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SENT TO MURDER CAPTAIN AMERICA

It’s called the Murder Strut.

IT’S BACK!!!!!! I was searching for this to show my daughter the other day and couldn’t find it. I’m so glad IT’S BACK!! I will always reblog the Murder Strut!!

A guy on a bike went around me because he could tell I had no intention of moving. Thanks to this post.

One day and I bumped into a guy while doing the Murder Strut and he apologized to me even though I was the one who had bumped into him.

It works wonders.

In case you were wondering, yes you can do this in a wheelchair. Same look in your eyes and let ‘em know you will run them down. Just picture yourself in a sports car accelerating towards someone with the intention of flattening them.

If there’s anything more satisfying than watching Abled men leap out of my way when they realize I’m not moving for them, I can’t think of it atm.

Walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

Wheel like you’re gonna win the Indy 500 and don’t care how.

Your crutches are short swords; walk like you can see them buried in the bodies of anyone who crosses (in front of) you.

Tumblr: teaching women how to be Moses and part the fucking Red Sea with the power of their minds.

I had never seen these updates to the Patriarchy Chicken Game before and they are all a goddam DELIGHT

I was walking down a crowded avenue, and a man was coming right for me, with purpose. I raised my arms across my chest like Wonder Woman and he finally swerved at the last minute. Chalk up one for us Amazons!

I wore a cape coat and some tall combat heels that made me feel like Darth Vader to work and whenever I walked and you can beat your ass people moved out of my way. Just thought, ‘walk like I’m going to cut down someone with my light saber.’

Tony is done with them

Pet Emergency

Hey guys, so my dog Luna suddenly seemed to be in a lot of pain yesterday morning and it’s only gotten worse. I’ve been giving her turmeric and cbd oil to help the pain but she’s really not doing well. She’s been limping and I know something is wrong with her back leg from the way she walks, I just don’t know what it is. She’s hasn’t eaten very much and has basically just been laying in bed shivering since yesterday morning. There’s an emergency vet hospital I can take her to, but I don’t have a job right now and won’t be able to afford whatever care she needs, especially if it’s something that requires surgery. 

If you have anything to spare, or even just reblogs to signal boost, I’d deeply appreciate some help taking care of my girl and making sure she’s comfortable. 

I have paypal and ko-fi and venmo… really anything helps ❤️❤️

Imagine: Its 2025. You're getting pulled over. A community representative approaches to let you know you have a taillight out. They don't need your license and registration, they don't write you a fix-it ticket. You're back on the road in less than five minutes. You swing by the store and grab a new light, not because you're afraid of what the city will do to you, but because you respect your community and know that having all your lights working is part of the driving privilege.

Your neighbors got into a loud spat a few weeks ago and without fear or hesitation, called a domestic assistance number. A counselor arrived and was able to talk the couple down and suggest solutions for their disagreement. No one was hurt, the kids participated in the discussion, and it's been quiet ever since.

Your friend has been struggling with addiction and you fear they might be a danger to themselves or others. You call a substance abuse specialist and they talk you through ways to help your friend get treatment. They offer to send an agent out to speak with your friend directly and provide information on harm reduction centers in your area.

Black and brown people are no longer being exploited through tickets and fines to pay for police. Trust is slowly being fostered in the community.

Teachers are being paid a living wage and students are being given more time, attention, and education. Books are up to date and classrooms are optimized to keep up with technology.

Trump is out of office.

It’s been a very long time since the name of a murdered black person was used as a hashtag.

Casual racism is no longer tolerated. The KKK has been classified as a terrorist organization. The Confederate flag isnt flown and has been removed from any official state flags or insignias. Most Confederate monuments have been taken down and placed in storage or museums.

You trust the investigation force to deal with crime the same way you trust firefighters to put out fires.

That's what 'defund the police' looks like. What we've seen in the last few weeks shows how overreaching and power-drunk many officers are. We asked too much of them and then called them heroes despite evidence to the contrary. We let them think that they could get away with anything, including murder. Its time for change.

Copied and pasted.

Read this post, then reread it again.

Signal boost

This explains the concept better than anything I’ve seen. And it brought tears into my eyes. 

It is time for a fucking revolution.

If the fashion industry thrives on newness and novelty then they are failing themselves.

If you want a ‘new twist on a classic style’ I’ve got one for you.

Make a pencil skirt for someone who is 5ft 3.

Make a white shirt that will button over my breasts.

Make a shift dress that doesn’t get ‘nipped in at the waist’.

Make a pair of shoes that won’t aggravate my ankle injury.

Make a ‘nude-coloured’ dress that is dark brown.

Make your plus-sized jeans in actual denim, not some shitty stretch fabric dyed blue.

You want a fresh take on the classics?

Try making your clothes for someone who isn’t six foot tall and a size 6.

For once.

Please.

oh and also make fucking steel-toed boots under the size mens 8 1/2

Make some form-fitting shirts that are thick enough to stop our bras from showing through.

Make sensitive skin-friendly buttons and clasps so we don’t have worry about the metal making us break out in contact dermatitis (that’s a localized rash that can easily become an infection, for the uninformed).

Make a long dress that is easy to go to the bathroom in.

Make a pair of jeans that actually fit in the crotch area instead of putting us at risk of a yeast infection (No “V”).

Make more dress shoes that aren’t heels.

Put more pockets in women’s clothes.

CREATE A FUCKING UNIVERSAL SIZING SYSTEM THAT MAKES SENSE.

Every. Last. Fucking. One. Of These.

All sadly true!

Make sweaters and jackets that actually insulate and keep us warm

Give us real flannel, not cotton knock-offs

If you’re going to sew the pocket closed, don’t even bother putting it on

I would like to reiterate: GIVE 👏🏿WOMEN 👏🏿FUCTIONAL👏🏿 POCKETS👏🏿. Give us ALL THE POCKETS.

Just the one.