My ancestors sold useful things. Traded three loaves of bread for a goat skin. A fat hen for two pumpkins.

I sell my time. I literally sell pieces of my mortal life to a corporation. Little eight hour blocks that I will never get back.

That fucks my brain.

I need to stick my hands in the moist soil and touch long, red worms and grow something useful.

planetarium presenters trying to explain to a busload of 4th graders how incomprehensibly vast space is

me, 10, who will never be the same again:

This is weirdly cute and enchanting

YALL GHOSTS BETTA SANG @lyricism1898

When does the album drop?

Here in August, getting in that Halloween mood.  

Is he aware that we physically fucking can’t

? physically cant what?

Bend our ankles like that

Like what???

At steep angles! Bones fuse and prevent that if you don’t do it regularly as a kid. It’s the same reason we don’t climb trees like monkeys, whose ankles don’t have the same restrictions we do

Human ankles don’t normally work like that!

Iirc someone did an anatomical study and people of slavic descent have shallower hip sockets that allow that movement more easily as well.

Yes! This was something we talked about in my physical anthropology class, that like, some people physically cannot slav squat just because of their bones and skeletal structure.

Look until this post started going around I had no idea some people couldn’t do this???

Reblog and tag with whether you can slav squat or not.

doin it right now babeyyyyyyyyy

I squat like that all the time! Never had a problem having my feet flat on the ground!

This is Adam Erickson, pastor at the Clackamas United Church of Christ in Milwaukee, Oregon!

Oh finally. A real Christian.

In case u needed something to make ur day better

to be a small curly-haired white mouse sniffing a flower…

not to be That Bitch but it really is insidious that the construction of the concept of “granny panties” has made women self conscious about their freaking underwear of all things (meant to be worn underneath your clothes and not be seen most of the time!!!) to the point where women sacrifice comfort to wear a gstring or cheeky hipster or whatever crap the industry comes up with all so that women can be constantly maintaining not just a pleasing outward appearance but a ~sexy~ state of mind

happy halloween! here is a ghost duet

The Amazing world of Gumball writers have been unleashed

AND THAT IS THE TEA

THE WAY THEY ALL DO THAT SUCK IN A BREATH THROUGH THE TEETH AND UNFORTUNATE MMM SOUND THE WAY WE DO I’M DYING

u ever wake up from a dream like “damn i guess i’m not coping with THAT as well as i thought i was”

There is an old belief in Serbian villages and small towns that certain pumpkins (and watermelons), when left outside during a full moon, will turn in to a vampire.

Happy Halloween, everyone!

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*whisper chants* vampire pumpkin vampire pumpkins vampire pumpkins

This is the quality fall shit I’m here for

My baba used to tell me this allllll the time. 100% true

pomegranates are proof that god exists and is a sadist

would a kind and loving god make the most delicious fruit in the world have the tiniest ratio of flesh vs pith? would evolution produce a fruit whose seeds are meant for dispersal, yet are encased in an impenetrable leathery rind? god is real and god hates us

Maybe we just need to evolve horse-like teeth

i dontt want you to say that

God made pomegranates as puzzle toys for our enrichment.

I don’t know. I know you told me. But I have had a very long day.

me: [vibrating slightly because I had too much caffeine] everything in the world is my fault

did humans invent math or did we discover it

does math even exist

i already regret making this post bc smart people keep messaging me trying to explain math and it’s making me nauseous 

The universe did some weird shit, and humans were like “Got you now motherfucker! We got numbers and shit to figure it all out!”. And as punishment for this hubris God fucked up physics so hard we still don’t know what’s going on.

some fucker decided they could just start counting things and it was all downhill from there