i just saw someone abbreviate cornelia street as “corn st” and i’m HSKDHSKFKDJ LMFAO
i can finally share the piece i did for @batgirlzine ! had so much fun on this
leftover sales will open soon :)
you need to be earnest. you need to tell people that you love them. you need to speak on how you’re feeling honestly. you need to be sentimental. you need to stop letting the fear of other people laughing at you have so much control over how you express yourself. you need to get over yourself. you need to be embarrassing but true.
pirates of the caribbean really introduced an eldritch octopus man who kills indiscriminately and torments the dead as their poster villain and then you watch the movies and it's like, "oh no, actually the worst villain in this series is a small white british man who functions as the herald of capitalism" and that was very very brave of them
“No, wait,” says Finnick. “Let’s do it together. Put our faces right in front of his.”
Well, there’s so little opportunity for fun left in my life, I agree. We position ourselves on either side of Peeta, lean over until our faces are inches from his nose, and give him a shake. “Peeta. Peeta, wake up,” I say in a soft, singsong voice.
His eyelids flutter open and then he jumps like we’ve stabbed him. “Aa!”
Finnick and I fall back in the sand, laughing our heads off.
When I recently reread the series, this moment was just pure gold. It was so funny and silly but it also felt so earned among the rest of the books and it’s such a great way to start off their alliance. They deserved this moment so much.
Also, it’s not mentioned that they’re making faces but I couldn’t resist and had so much fun with it. :D
EDIT: OMG I just realised I screwed up the reading direction! I have no idea how that happened and I noticed just when I was about to post it. Well, it’s a manga now?! 🙈
me: so what job experience do you guys bring to the team
guard one: well, we have a lot of experience with breakdancing—
guard two: no we absolutely do not. but we did guard these two doors for a bit
guard one: i killed jfk
guard two: he didn’t
Batman sitting on the Batmobile: You need to watch your fighting stand Robin, when we get back–
Batman: You're not Robin.
Cosplayer very much terrified, who hadn't had the courage to tell who he was when a 6'0ft tall man dressed as a bat dragged him into the batmobile:
--
Tim in a Uber on his way to a comic con along with a bunch of other teenagers: I sense I made a mistake somehow.
Au where the Drake’s don’t die (they’re just bad parents) and as Tim gets older they start spending a SLIGHT bit more time with him to train him to take over Drake industries. They start trying to set up a marriage to a daughter of a good family for Tim, but he’s dating Bernard, who is not only a man but from a “subpar family.” They demand he break it off.
Tim refuses to break up with his boyfriend, threatens causing a huge scandal and making out with Bernard in public if they engage him to anyone.
Jack and Janet threaten to disown him, bc they think Tim’s been living the soft cushy house (manor) life hidden away from the world on thier money this whole time, so they’re all, “You’ll come crawling back, you need us and our money, this will teach you a lesson.”
Tim, who has been practically independent since he was four, has extensive robin training, access to zetatubes, powerful friends (and enemies) in every major city across the world, at least eight fully stocked safehouses in Upper Gotham alone, a personal bank account under his own name with combined Drake and Wayne allowance, at this point is only in Drake manor when his parents are here (a week with an important gala every four months maybe) and has LITERALLY had a discussion with Bruce about a custody battle due to negligence so he can call himself a Wayne on paper not even a week before, just laughs.
“This is Gotham. I’ll get Bruce Wayne to adopt me.”
That makes them mad. His parents show him the disowning paperwork and kick him out. Tim doesn’t even run to Wayne Manor, he meanders over while tapping at his phone.
Bruce already had the paperwork ready. The Drakes don’t know what’s happening before it’s too late. Tim is a Wayne. They try to challenge it but they relinquished all rights and Tim has receipts of parental neglect and also he already has a room at the manor.
Tim takes over as Wayne Industries CEO (the sooner the funnier) and immediately starts being awesome at it, smug ass grin in every photo, the other Waynes cackling in the background as the Drakes seethe and thier stocks plummet. The next gala they go to, Bruce makes absolutely sure to turn to Tim and go, “So son, when is your boyfriend coming over for dinner?”
Bernard comes back from a family camping trip to find out his boyfriend started an upper crust civil war for the right to date him. And also he’s invited to Wayne Manor. Wtf Tim.
You can’t just stick this in the tags and expect us to do nothing about it
JASON CALLS BERNARD HELEN OF TROY
He's sinking the TimKon ships D: And launching the Timberkon ships }:-3
because I can't remember if the quote is "The Face that Launched A Thousand Ships" or "Sunk a Thousand Ships"
This would be even funnier if Tim started dating Kon AS WELL AS Bernard. Being all cuddly w his bfs and his parents redder than tomatoes in anger behind them :)
“My new dad lets me have TWO boyfriends.” -Timothy Drake-Wayne, CEO of Wayne Enterprises, with a pretty boy on each arm and a smug grin on his face, to the Gotham Gazette.
(Funniest if Kon is publicly a Luthor bc there’s your advantageous marriage lol)
Jason: *on private line* Swanhead.
Tim: Red Hood. Don’t call me that. What is it?
Jason: Send me my location, I don’t know where I am.
Tim: Hold-
Dick: *batkids group channel* Hey Baby Bird.
Tim: Nightwing. Again don’t call me-you know what? Nevermind. What’s the problem?
Dick: I need you to send me my location, I got kidnapped overseas.
Tim: Red Hood too.
Jason: Hey! I didn’t get kidnapped, I was violently taken hostage for a minor drug deal that went wrong. Totally different.
Tim: Right.
Jason: Listen here you little shi-
Dick: Oh, Little Wing’s in Belarus. Coordinates: 53.6212, 27.94683 and there’s a bike nearby he can use to get to the aircraft landing space close by but he’ll have to be careful because it’s swarmed by mean-looking guards.
Tim: …..
Jason: Since when are the guards nice-looking?
Dick: Little Wing, when you get kidnapped as often as I do, you get to pick and choose who you like.
Tim: Not getting into that mess but how’d you know Jason’s coordinates?
Dick: Older Sibling’s Intuition!
Tim and Jason: Bullshit.
Tim: Anyway, I’ll send Batman to pick you up.
Dick: Wait, no, Batman will bring Robin and little D just went over to J-Superboy’s house to play video games.
Tim: ….Okay, then I’ll send Batgirl.
Dick: No Batgirl’s throwing it back at a frat party so don’t bother her. She’s winning.
Tim: Orphan.
Dick: No she’s busy dismantling an underground mercenary establishment in Shanghai.
Tim: I’ll-
Dick: Nah, enjoy your date with your golden teddy bear tonight. It’s also a bit of a distance to go from Gotham to Metropolis to pick up your other one.
Tim: OKAY HOW DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE’S LOCATION BUT YOUR OWN?!
Dick: ….Tee Hee 😋✨
Jason: *muffled* did he just “Tee Hee?”
Tim: ….where are the kidnappers, I gotta rescue them.
Dick: *in the background on Dick’s line: sobbing and nonstop muffled thank you’s*
Dick: Whaddya mean? They’re fine. Right, guys? *more crying heard*
Tim: Dick….
Jason: *on private channel* Shushhh. Just let him have this. Still send help though. For them.
Tim, sleep deprived + making coffee with five hour energy instead of water in front of his protesting family: If no one comes back from the future to stop me, how bad of an idea can it really be?
Future!Damian, made friends with Infinite Realms Royalty and discovered they had the infi-map, a time travelling artifact that he recognizes from the funniest thing that ever happened to him in his childhood: Hello Timothy.
Tim, nearly jumping out of his skin: OH HOLY- Damian?
Future!Damian: 😇
Batfam: 😳
Young Damian: 🫵😦
Tim: …ok there’s NO WAY that drinking this will-
Future!Damian: You’ll never find out, because you’re not going to try. Now hand over those cookies, I promised an inter-dimensional death deity I’d get him some if he let me do this. Also- (tosses random cryptic Clockwork message that will make sense eventually onto the table)
Future!Damian, very ominously: Take care of yourself, Timothy *vanishes with a flourish of the map and cackling echoey laughter, leaving the family cookie-less and in shock.*
Alfred: …Did he have to take the plate?
Future!Damian returning the plate to Future!Alfred while Future!Tim happens to be there: Apologies, Alfred. I did not think of the plate until after I had left.
Future!Tim, who since that day has been working on healthier habits: You MOTHER-!
Hey for all Tim knows it’s because Damian changed the timeline and it worked
So what I'm hearing is that Damian needs to commit to the bit and play his part to sell this by, IDK, doing something slightly out of character like acting all happy/relieved to see Tim there.
… Tim and Damian were playing Mariokart until Alfred arrived, Damian gets up to give him the plate, Tim swears loudly, Damian turns and bursts into fake tears
Hmm, but if he lays it on too thick, it won't come across as convincing. And I imagine that even as he grows and loosens up a bit, Damian still retains some of his reservedness. He is, after all, still Bruce's son.
That said, may I suggest:
Damian had prepared for this. The plate was very carefully hidden in a spare room, along with the clothes he had been wearing that day. He was monitoring the manor's security system so he would know as soon as he was here. They were just finishing a race when Alfred got back. Perfect timing.
Damian feigned needing to go to the bathroom, knowing Tim would likely take the opportunity to grab a snack and drink. He retrieved the hidden plate and took a few moments to ruffle his appearance and bring fake tears to his eyes. He takes the plate to the kitchen, putlrposely not looking in the direction he expects Tim to be yet. He places the plate, fresh as the day he accidentally stole it, on the counter.
"Apologies Alfred. I did not think of the plate until I had left." He makes his voice softer, a bit gruffer.
A refrigerator door swings softly shut just out of Damian's vision. He resists a smirk trying to crawl up his face. If he cracks now, the game is over. He keeps a mostly blank, slightly haunted grim look on his face; making sure his eyes stay moist although he lets no tears fall yet.
"You MOTHER-!" Damian makes a show of whipping around to face Tim. Tim is immediately caught off guard by Damian's haggard (for him) look. He lets a few tears slip and clears his throat, making himself louder yet rougher.
"It is good to see you alive and well, Timothy." Then he sweeps out of the room and back to his bedroom, intentionally not returning to the game room as though he has no idea he and Tim had been in the middle of a tournament.
Back in the kitchen, Tim is still blue screening. Alfred, ever the proper butler, is the first to regain composure.
"I trust this has proven the merit of these healthier habits we are working towards, Master Tim."
Tim can only nod and shoot betrayed glances at the coffee machine.
i just know, in my heart of hearts, that if the Justice League was trapped in a situation where they were all definitely about to die, Hal would absolutely turn to Bruce and go "to be honest, I always thought you were hot as fuck and we had mad chemistry. wanna try it?" and Clark is right there and just absolutely sputtering while Bruce, reluctantly, horrifyingly, contemplates how much he wants to hate himself for his last seventeen minutes on earth
This just in: local reporter more famous for looking like celebrity friend than any of his stories from last decade
i’m gonna make you a soup
i realize i may have worded this wrong
Annabeth Chase! 🦉
always a pleasure to draw my favourite character in percy jackson ^_^