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sam

@sleeepysam-blog

i would run many miles for more pasta
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You see me speed past you in my Bugatti at 200 mph and when I pass you all you hear is “boy toy named tro-” until I hit a brick wall dying instantly

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Winnie the Pooh is a fat icon tbh

reminder that Winnie the Pooh wore a crop top and ate his fave food and loved himself and u can too

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reblogged
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sleepin
I love you,” She paused. “But I need to go now. I need to leave. Because we’re going to ruin each other.

Excerpts from a book I’ll never write. (via avouer)

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lgbtqpjo

People need to realize that there’s a difference between straight people and Straight People™

Straight person: Hey, you got a new haircut. Looks really good.

Straight Person™: No homo, but your haircut looks good on you.

In case you were confused 👌

Just like how there are white people who are gay and then there are the White Gays

White people who are gay: “I’m gay.”

White Gays: “I can’t believe I got accused of racism after calling that person a racial slur! I mean, I know what racism looks like because I’ve been discriminated for my sexuality. How is me being racist even possible? I’M GAY!”

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Lmao all the angry White and Straight people in the comments, keep reblogging

neurotypical: i don’t have any mental illnesses or disorders Neurotypical™: Happiness is a choice!! ✨✨Have you tried yoga? Drink more water and eat kale ✨✨

cis person: i identify completely as my assigned gender Cis Person™: It doesn’t matter what you identify as, cause you still have Female Genitals! I’m not being offensive!! Read a book on Human Biology! 🚹🚺

men: I identify as male.

Men: feminazis ruin everything, get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich bitch

atheists: I don’t believe in god or identify with a religion

Atheists: Don’t fucking talk to me if you believe in God. Open your closed-fucking-minds!! (usually targeted towards Christians)

nice guys: hey I know when not to invade someone’s space and I totally respect boundaries

Nice Guys™: IVE BEEN YOUR FRIEND FOR A MONTH AND NOW YOURE TELLING ME YOU DONT WANT TO FUCK ME ???? WHAT IS THE POINT OF WOMEN IF YOURE NOT HAVING SEX WITH ME?

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maneth985

this post got all kinds of better since I last saw it

This post is perfection across the board.

feminist: I believe in equality for everything between the sexes

Feminist™: ALL MEN ARE ASSHOLES AND SHOULD DIE! WE DONT NEED ANY OF THEM ANYWAYS AND THEY NEVER DO ANYTHING GOOD FOR US!!

Christian: I believe in God and his son Jesus

Christian™: We must Obey Bible In Everything and Take It Literally and if you don’t do it you’re Going To Hell! I’m praying for you to find God and have your sins Forgiven! Other religions are from Satan and So Is Atheism!

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“THINGS HE SAID TO ME - FROM THE BEGINNING, TO THE END OF US" it’s strange how fast things can change between two people … (S.R, 2017)