Lyrical Deep Dive:
Death By A Thousand Cuts
Kaylor analysis 👁
My, my, my, my
My, my, my, my
My, my, my, my
My, my, my, my
My, my, my, my
My, my, my, my
My, my, my, my
My, my, my, my
Echoing “my, my, my, my, my lover” signifies DBATC and Lover are about the same relationship.
Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts
Flashbacks waking me up
I get drunk, but it’s not enough
‘Cause the morning comes and you’re not my baby
I look through the windows of this love
Even though we boarded them up
Chandelier’s still flickering here
'Cause I can’t pretend it’s okay when it’s not
It’s death by a thousand cuts
Taylor is saying goodbye to being seen publicly with Karlie. She has flashbacks to better times when they were glass closeting, feeling on top of the world. She gets drunk to deal with the pain of keeping their relationship a secret, because when morning comes they cannot be seen together. Despite not being able to publicly acknowledge her relationship with Karlie, she looks forward to the times they still share together privately, and knows it was their decision to board their relationship up. The public no longer thinks they’re friends - no paparazzi photos of them around the city, no longer attending events together. It’s all been boarded up, even for Kaylor fans. The chandelier is still flickering though because they are still in a relationship, but it’s extremely private and requires keeping secrets, sneaking around, PR stunting, etc. While this decision may have seemed necessary for both of their public images post-Kissgate and originally worked for them, it’s exhausting to keep this charade up - it’s “death by a thousand cuts”.
I dress to kill my time, I take the long way home
I ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright
They say, “I don’t know”
And what once was ours is no one’s now
I see you everywhere, the only thing we share
Is this small town
You said it was a great love, one for the ages
But if the story’s over, why am I still writing pages?
Taylor goes through her day - doing press, attending award shows, etc. I see “take the long way home” as having two potential meanings - she’s taking the long way home, a secret route to get back home and be with Karlie, or she’s saying this whole charade of them no longer being seen together in public is for a planned end game, one where they can eventually be open and together outside their home. This long winding road has had many unexpected turns, they’ve needed to pivot around with their long-term plans - the ending is not in sight and Taylor worries about the uncertain scenarios ahead of them.Their relationship being “no one’s now” I think is reference to the fact that the public no longer sees them together - people who enjoyed their public outings, the speculation of them being more than friends - it’s no longer out in the open to be discussed by the general public, even Kaylor fans, who need to look for clues and signs that a relationship between them still exists.
Taylor sees Karlie everywhere around New York City - whether on a huge billboard in Times Square or having flashbacks when she’s in a neighborhood they once enjoyed publicly together. They still share NYC - both of them are residents (probably living together), but it’s all memories now and literal images of their faces plastered around the city as a constant reminder that they aren’t able to be honest about their love in interviews or with their fans. The YOU she is referring to about it being “a great love, one for the ages” could be both her and Karlie themselves reminiscing on better times in their relationship (Victoria Secret fashion shoots, Vogue cover shoots - when Kaylor basically ruled the world). I think the last line in this verse is Taylor talking to the public and her fans - if you assume Kaylor is over, you’re mistaken, since she’s still writing their love story into her music.
My heart, my hips, my body, my love
Tryna find a part of me that you didn’t touch
Gave up on me like I was a bad drug
Now I’m searching for signs in a haunted club
Our songs, our films, united, we stand
Our country, guess it was a lawless land
Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand
Paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans
My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust
Tryna find a part of me you didn’t take up
Gave you so much, but it wasn’t enough
But I’ll be all right, it’s just a thousand cuts
Taylor’s in bridge city again here - describing the pain of keeping something so meaningful and such an important part of your well being a secret. It’s the hardest things she’s ever had to do because it’s consuming so much of her time and energy to avoid any PR slip ups. I’m very much theorizing here, but I think the next few lines relate to Karlie’s stunting with JK and eventual “marriage”. Maybe Taylor didn’t expect Karlie to go as far as she did with their “relationship” or contract. Who knows the logistics that went down (I certainly don’t), but maybe Karlie grew impatient with Taylor changing her coming out plans and decided to go forward with the PR stunt because of reasons related to her own career - I think this caused problems for them, which they obviously got through and PIVOTED their end game plans, but I think Taylor took it as a hard blow and probably hates seeing images of them online or in magazines - she’s searching for what they once had in places they once were out in public, happy together. I also think the 2016 election results played a part in Karlie/JK’s arrangement - “…united, we stand / Our country, guess it was a lawless land”. Karlie realized the effects this has had on Taylor and tries to quiet her fears and comfort her, reassuring her that this won’t be forever - both her and Taylor know that they will be together in the end.
The next few words are the most telling to me, with Taylor acknowledging how much this stings and is a result of their back and forth plans for coming out. I’ll theorize that Taylor originally was the one pushing off the plans, fearing she had more to lose at the time and taking things very seriously post-Kissgate. Limited Kaylor being seen out together to eventually becoming non-existent, sparking rumors of a feud and falling out. Who knows what they originally hoped would happen when they were glass closeting, but Taylor panicked and she’s still dealing with the repercussions of that. She’s consumed in everything she does throughout the day by her feelings for Karlie and memories to happier times where they were free to be seen out in public and support one another. Taylor maybe feels like she gave Karlie so much of her love but it wasn’t enough to stop her from re-signing her contract and taking things to a 10000 with JK, especially when Taylor has kept her beard so low key and out of the way for the most part. After she calmed down she realizes she overreacted and that what she has with Karlie is too real and more important than what the public reads or says about them. They are still each other’s end game. It’s going to be all right, but the daily pain of hiding someone so important in your life, especially when you were once inseparable in the public eye to now people assuming you hate one another isn’t the end of the world, “it’s just a thousand cuts”.
