small collection of shark gifs i like
invasive species kill with extreme prejudice
collect them like snail eggs and crush them in your mortar and pestle
TRANSGENDER TAT: "Master, the transsexuals on the internet are ascribing half-joking reified qualities to Yaoi and Yuri. Is this not the gender binary by another name?"
TRANSGENDER HERMES TRISMEGISTUS: "My student, the power of humor is to make fixed things fluid. Through humorous analysis of the gender binary, we only gain greater understanding of transcending the gender binary."
TRANSGENDER TAT: "Doesn't that only reify t4t sex?"
TRANSGENDER HERMES TRISMEGISTUS: "Yes. The wise understand this."
TSA agents are always like sir you have to take off your belt before you go through the machine. Shoes as well. Yeah and now the pants... slower... mmm yeah like that... now get those balls jiggling...
monoculture forests are deeply unsettling in a way that is hard to explain to people who do not spend a lot of time looking at forests
this thing is alive in an undead hivemind kind of way and it wants to fucking kill me
I wish wizards were real so bad imagine coming out of a wal mart and seeing some guy with long robes and a big hat in the parking lot surrounded by wacky particle effects screaming some shit like "By the moon and the starlight, by the shield and the sword, I summon to me, my Honda Accord!" And then just getting into his car and driving off
this is just dr orpheus
fish are an underappreciated source of trans names
we got bream, coley, mako, saithe, danio, trahira, devario, tetra, cisco, coley, dace, lenok, taimen, koi...
just imagine meeting someone named trev but it's not short for trevor
it's trevally
my boyfriend is literally the peak of human beauty. you don’t understand he is perfection of the human form
christians: what could possibly be in that evil book…. what horrible spells does it hold within its pages… what black magic does it propagate….
the talmud: so if you send your kid off to Torah school but he has a really hard time with it, send him back home and go to school yourself instead so that once you’ve learned Torah you can go and teach your entire family. in fact, once some rabbi went out to go to Torah school and do just this, and on his way he came through this town and he asked if he could stay in the synagogue for the night. and of course the rabbi said yes but weird enough no one was in the streets and something was kind of off about the whole place. so our hero went into the synagogue only to find a seven headed demon just hanging out in the library!! our hero is terrified and prays super hard and because of this the demon is vanquished. he goes back to the rabbi and is like “dude wtf” and the rabbi was like “listen i know this is unorthodox but you’re well known for how good at praying you are and this demon has been terrorizing us for well over a month and we were desperate. we knew you wouldn’t die” and the guy was like “i didn’t know that!” who do you think is in the right? hm. tough question. anyway. what were we talking about again? oh right. what if you make your sukkah doorway 1/7 of a cubit too short. would that be fucked up or what
I do wholeheartedly believe Wes Anderson is a sick sick freak. I like his movies but I definitely think this guy has like a hidden room in his spacious french apartment that he slips into quietly each night and it is just filled with tiny little doll replicas of all the actors he's ever used in any of his movies and he puppets them around and mimicks their voices and shit. and sometimes he'll text Owen Wilson pictures of his little doll with a comb or something from an untraceable number and pair it with like "see how I take care of you Owen?" and then the following day Owen Wilson will find him at the service table and go, "Geez Wes look at this," and Wes will pretend to be all concerned and horrified but there is this calculating almost eager look in his eyes that unsettles Owen Wilson. and the next time Wes is having a little soiree with all his actors, his beloved beloved actors, maybe Owen Wilson will accidentally get lost on his way to the beautiful bathroom and find that little room and see all those dolls and his throat will hitch with horror. And before he can call Bill Murray or Adrian Brody to look a dark silhouette will appear in the doorway and Wes looks sort of resigned when he says, "I see you finally found my secret, Owen," and Owen Wilson will try and pretend that he's fine with it but they both know better. and Wes will go (the look in his eyes back again) "We both know this can't get out, right?" and he'll grin very suddenly and Owen Wilson will laugh along very nervously and leave the room and eat some brioche and when the evening is over he will rush over to his Prius and frantically click his keys but over the cobbles on the beautiful beautiful street there is the sound of footsteps. and tears are running down Owen Wilson's cheeks but he can't say a word and Wes, emerging from the shadows, will gently touch him on the shoulder and say, "look, I'll drive you to the airport, huh?" and Owen Wilson will try to refuse but they both know it's futile. and, halfway through the drive, Wes Anderson will smile and say, "I'll miss working with you" and then perfectly jump and roll out of the car, wiping off his corduroy pants, while Owen Wilson's Prius swerves into a local patisserie, bursting into flames
Certain words can change your brain forever and ever so you do have to be very careful about it.
Polish nationalists are the fucking worst. They’re so brain poisoned by their victim complex that they blame all the atrocities carried out by Poles on literally anyone else.
Nah, bitches, your oldest, ongoing cultural tradition is hate. And like Vichy, y’all didn’t need the Nazis (or the Soviets) to tell you to genocide Jews and Roma. Hell pogroms still happened in Poland after the war as Jews tried to return to their homes. Hell, the fact that Wikipedia needs to note that there was a separate, earlier pogrom tells you all you need to know about the levels of bullshit Poland will pursue in their ahistorical spin
This wasn’t even the first post-WW2 pogrom in Poland. For that, you gotta backtrack a whole year and head over to Krakow. Hell, there’s a whole ass peer reviewed academic paper about post-war antisemitic violence. (Link to Free Copy)
Meanwhile, Poland is more than happy to center their tourism industry on Trauma Porn Pilgrimages. Never mind that “Lucky Jew” figurines and pictures are common tourist tchotchkes as well as home decor pieces. Jews are functionally mythical beings in Poland (and much of Europe) now.
This article by Clint Smith really hammers the point home. The article is about Germany, but it applies to many other countries.
In the United States there are 41 million Black people; we make up 12.5 percent of the population. In Germany, there are approximately 120,000 Jewish people, out of a population of more than 80 million. They represent less than a quarter of 1 percent of the population. More Jewish people live in Boston than in all of Germany. (Today, many Jews in Germany are immigrants from the former Soviet Union and their descendants.) Lots of Germans do not personally know a Jewish person.
This is part of the reason, Steiner believes, that Germany is able to make Holocaust remembrance a prominent part of national life; Jewish people are a historical abstraction more than they are actual people. In the United States, there are still millions of Black people. You cannot simply build some monuments, lay down some wreaths each year, and apologize for what happened without seeing the manifestation of those past actions in the inequality between Black and white people all around you.
Steiner also believes that the small number of Jewish people who do reside in Germany exist in the collective imagination less as people, and more as empty canvases upon which Germans can paint their repentance. […] The American Jewish writer Dara Horn puts it more bluntly in her book People Love Dead Jews, writing that in our contemporary world, most people
“only encountered dead Jews: people whose sole attribute was that they had been murdered, and whose murders served a clear purpose, which was to teach us something. Jews were people who, for moral and educational purposes, were supposed to be dead.”
ITS JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS
WHWRE YOURE SO GLAD TO WAKE UP
EVERYTHING IS LOVED EVERYBODY HUGS
wrath month is here. start hurting and killing and destroying
literally obsessed with the chunky clicks and whirs of a VCR swallowing up a tape . its kinda erotic
I didnt mean that
mr B’s wife
i feel like the rest of tumblr would love the dynamic between dr orpheus and dr venture. u can see the text posts now. you bitches would love those two. watch S1E6 (Eeny, Meeny, Miney… Magic!) of the Venture Bros if u do not get it PLEASE i implore u