where's the karma?

i had a thought today like man, my ancestors would probably not approve very much of me being such an extravagant glutton, but then i was like wtf are u kidding. those dumbasses didn’t live on a fuckin potato ass diet for no minimalism. they didn’t do what they did, whatever the fuck it was, for me NOT to fucking eat my bodyweight in sashimi!!! they would be fucking ecstatic to see me making the most of my opportunities for plenty. they would be fucking cheering me on. every lice-covered cossack and illiterate serf and three-toothed yak herder in my lineage is with me in this restaurant, and they are going absolutely apeshit watching me try to fit an entire samosa in my mouth

i love this idea that the ancestors are following modern people around like a rappers yes-man as we eat food #‘fucking superb you funky little descendant’

me, standing in front of the burger king counter like the blithering hunger gibbon i am: i’ll have… uhhh… double whopper with fries. thank you. large please

the 500 mongolian tatar and polish jew ghosts behind me: [ERUPT INTO WILD SCREAMING AND HIGH FIVES] 

can you believe there is a painting of cossacks going hogwild out there that fits this situation perfectly

Hi, archaeologist here, weighing in to say that your ancestors are so unbelievably stoked to watch you dip your fries in your milkshake. This is decadence beyond their wildest imagination

weird medieval guys on twitter

so i work for a small regional museum. remotely, i should add. the museum itself is about 2000km west, so i've never actually been there but i research and write articles about local history for them. and because the town was only formally settled in the 1920s and a lot of the museum's supporters are older, the majority of the history i write about is within, or just outside of living memory. this means that people will comment on our posts with memories or connections of their own. they'll tag their friends and family and say 'remember this?'

a few week ago, i wrote a week's worth of posts about immigration, largely displaced persons in the aftermath of the second world war. there was an outpouring of memories and people sharing these posts and sharing them. our notifications were blowing up with people saying "thanks for writing about my uncle" and "i knew them when i was young, but i never knew their story" and "she looks so beautiful here" and "our families used to get together for dinners, i'm still friends with his daughter."

regular people, non-historians, are inclined to think of history as a monolithic past leading up to the present; an easy timeline of textbook names and events. and we think of museums largely the same way. you have the louvre and you have the smithsonian and maybe a modern art museum or a niche museum for skeletons or canoes or one specific guy. museums are reserved for the big things, but they're for the little things and people that will never be in textbooks.

and i'm thinking about the way people responded to those posts, seeing their own history remembered with the same reverence as the big stuff. maybe you never knew the people being written about, or maybe you did, and for a few days, they are alive again, and your neighbours and your classmates and your councilmen are remembering your family, and they are alive.

I hope you're cringe I hope we're both cringe

twitter is dying fr

lol

officially rip (2006-2023)

A family of cheetahs sleep with the forest guard every night. When the Forest Dept. heard about it, they decided to check the veracity of the claim by installing a CCTV camera. This is what the camera recorded! Just amazing.

Kitties will be kitties 🐈‍⬛

i love it when the short kings at my university jump to slap the top of a doorframe or sit on a counter or desk. did that make u feel like a big boy? did u like going uppy? do u wanna go uppy again?

the short kings have spoken

this post has been screenshotted and reposted to high hell on other social media to the point where my fucking boyfriend is asking if i want uppies to feel like a big boy. my good bitch we are the same height.

[Image ID: Tweet from wargen (@/ funeralPig) on 26 Jun 23 reading: hey man we all noticed your posts are getting really whimsical lately if just wanted to tell you i'm proud of you for connecting with your lighter nature again /End ID]

Life advise . if the bus smells like pee do not sit down never pay for anything you could get for free dont work retail if you value being seen as human always give money to homeless people when u can if youre buying a jacket never settle for fake leather just look for real leather and youll find the right thrift shop eventually make sure to have chapstick with you at all times dont use a public restroom until youve checked to make sure theres toilet paper in the stall with you dont eat out if you cant tip shoplifting from corporations is totally fine and vandalism is also ok Dont get caught always trust ur gut unless your tummy hurts in which case do not trust your gut take an antacid take benadryl when you are itchty but never more than 2 at a time dont get high on benadryl because it sucks Do not get high on any cough syrup with acetaminophen in it if you value your liver do not listen to brendon uries solo work sometimes you should eat a little treat just because youcan. Always dress extravagantly and wear platform shoes if you can. Be nice. ok thats it

Phenomenon I feel happens a lot

most of the notes were just like "this is why we should communicate better and just say it" but i feel like this person elaborates a bit on the deeper root of this problem

ok. I'm in the world. now what am I supposed to do

different schools of thought I suppose

I just know that when Romeo and Juliet premiered two ye olde girlies in the pit at intermission were like didst thou see the sparks betwixt Tybalt and mercutio… aye and not from their swords alone!

everything in the whole world is erotic. except for sex. sex is too on the nose.