if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘food’ labeling some good, some bad as i assign moral value to this grain of rice i might say ‘numbers’ counting, measuring, tracking calories, sizes, BMIs allthetimecalculating everysinglething if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘beauty’ complete devotion, idolization of the western standard begging for others’ envy i might say ‘attention’ desperately needing someone anyone, to notice me at all to see that i am unwell, to care if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘control’ the sick, sick result of discipline gone sour a curdling obsession i might say ‘guilt’ over being too big too plain too comfortable too needy too me if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘anger’ hating the injustice of living hating everything, everyone including myself i might say ‘pain’ a way to transpose the scars of my soul onto the body aching for congruence if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘minimalism’ my mind whirls like a run-on sentence and i can’t stand being wasteful so no thank you i don’t need anything at all really i might say ‘self-righteousness’ i’m parading the streets, declaring my holier-than-thouness because hey look! i’m better at dying than you if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘expectations’ i’ve been naturally small my entire life and now, but now i lose myself when i grow i might say ‘childhood’ reverting to my prepubescent body no breasts and when sex was just a word muddled with giggles if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘addiction’ a habit that can’t be kicked craving the buzz, the high of manipulating my insides i might say ‘death’ i’m not that happy anyway so why not drive my body to the edge, tempting it to quit? if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say nothing because i do not know it’s not like it matters because you don’t ask because you don’t know either

—i don’t know, you don’t know, no one knows // 01.22.18

Rb if you’re gonna be a skinny legend in 2019

Here’s to a new year of skinny 🥂

•Like if you wanna get skinny in 2019💛

•Reblog for good luck ✨

first actual post!!

hello fellow people with scrambled brains, i just deleted my old blog bc i kinda hated it so any ED blogs that are still around after the tumblr purge reblog so i can follow ya !!

stay safe guys

70 cute questions ... go ahead!!! :D

Reblog if you want assumptions about you in your ask box

— Estelle Laure, This Raging Light (via books-n-quotes)

For everyone’s information:

The plan for the 17th, when the adult content ban comes in, is to protest.

To do that, we are making as much noise either side of the 17th as possible, and using the site as normal.

On the 17th, dead silence.

People are saying log off but what they really mean is don’t open the site or the app.

But, on the 17th make as much noise as possible on every other platform. Tweet about it and post on facebook and instagram and everywhere else.

What this does is causes a massive dip in ad revenue for one single day. That does not make staff think ‘oh everyone’s gone let’s shut down.’ What it actually makes them think is ‘oh shit people aren’t happy and if people don’t keep using our site we’re out of money and out of jobs.’

A boycott reminds a company that the users (consumers) have the power to make their site (business) worthless with one single coordinated decision.

If you want to join in, here’s what to do:

Remember: the execs don’t care about anything but money. Shutting down the site means there’s $0 further income from it. That’s their last possible course of action. If we make it clear we’re not happy, they’ll have to do something or we can do more and more until it becomes too expensive.

Protests take commitment. They’re a defiant action against a business that is doing something wrong. They will try to scare you into not participating, because they’re scared. We hold all the power here, sometimes the execs just need to be reminded of that.

you know..why not. It could be fun :D 

WHOS JOINING MEEEE

yess!!

Reblog this if no one knows about your tumblr. Literally no one.

DANGEROUS SYMPTOMS

CAUSED BY EATING DISORDERS

Liver – white nail beds – nausea – itchy skin – swollen abdomen – yellowing skin/eyes – fatigue – confusion – pale / clay-like / bloody / tar-like stool – vomiting – pain in the upper, righthand abdomen – joint pain – spider angiomas (coloured skin spots that resemble spiders, due to clotting issues) – dark urine – swollen legs / ankles – bruising easily

Heart 

– tachycardia (fast resting heart rate, over 100 beats per minute) – bradycardia (slow resting heart rate, under 60 beats per minute) * note that a very high fitness level can cause a lower heart rate – irregular heart rate – if your heart rate is under 40, you could be in immediate danger, and remember that your heart rate will drop even further in sleep – shortness of breath / shallow breathing – chest pains – fatigue – dizziness – swelling in ankles / feet / legs – swollen abdomen – choking sensation – coughing up pink liquid / goop – unable to concentrate – sudden weight gain – fainting – palpitations – feeling your own heart – hearing your own heart – chest / arm / sternum pain – anxiety – sweating – vomiting – lack of energy – coughing up white

Kidneys

– vomiting / general nausea

– changed sleeping patterns / problems sleeping

– fatigue

– swelling of ankles / legs / feet / just general swelling

– hypertension (high blood pressure)

– shortness of breath

– itchiness

– chest pain

– metallic taste in mouth

– muscle cramps

– hyperkalemia (high levels of potassium)

– stiff joints

– less urinating than usual

– bloody / dark / foam-like urine

– confusion / mental fuzziness

– rashes

– leg pains

Osteoporosis (severe bone weakness)

– back pain

– bad posture

– weak bones (weak grip / bones fracture easily)

– receding gums and bone loss in jaw

– general pains in muscles or even bone

– dropping fitness levels

Cathartic colon (from laxative use)

– bloating

– abdominal pain

– chronic constipation

– intense feelings of fullness

– incomplete bowl movement / ‘fecal evacuation’

Hypokalemia (low potassium levels)

– weakness in limbs, especially the sort that causes numbness or cramping

– nausea

– vomiting

– bloating

– abdominal pain

– low blood pressure

– fainting

– physical numbness

– emotional changes

– palpitations

– excessive urination

– constant thirst

Other common side-effects of EDs

– muscle spasms, weakness or twitching (electrolyte imbalance– very common in bulimia, and can be very dangerous)

– anemia

– irregular menstrual cycles / infertility in women

– low blood sugar

– depression and other mood disorders may develop / worsen

– insomnia

– eye damage and diminishing vision

STAY SAFE. A COUPLE OF SYMPTOMS MAY NOT BE LIFE-THREATENING, BUT HAVING MULTIPLE FROM THE SAME ORGAN CAN BE. 

save someone’s life. reblog

‼️‼️ ATTENTION ‼️‼️

Hey everyone, since tumblr is being an asshole and risking deleting our pages now and possibly our whole community, I made a Snapchat and the code is below and I can create like a big group story where we all share updates and memes and thinspo WITHOUT GUIDELINES and we can all become friends and love one another and support each other and share recipes and stuff. So save and scan and REBLOG THUS POST so your followers and other people can be added, I want it big so if tumblr comes to snatch our wigs we have a safe place okay love you guys bye bye

can i still add you on my personal snapchat???!

Yes you absolutely can!

things that happened to me after i lost weight

guys i know its hard right now but think of what you have to look forward to <3

Reblog if you honestly think you're fat. Not just the ocasional "Ugh, I feel fat in this" or "I look fat today", but when you feel fat 24/7 and you hate yourself because of it to the point where you would do anything to be skinny.

Float on

me!!!

Excuses to not eat

Feel free to add more excuses if you like

These are just some of the excuses I use

Not every anorexic...

… eats 1,000 or less calories

… is “skinny”

… fat shames

… likes meanspo

… wants to recover

… will survive to see that they’re beautiful and didn’t need to change

The last two I believe and I truly don’t want to recover