pls watch viviennes pants ruin this entire scene
i intend to spend the remainder of my life completely & deliberately ignorant of the dragon age franchise and everything in it but this is still one of the funniest things ive ever seen. im uh sorry for your loss sad mustache man
SCHLEETS
OGHREN TRIED TO WARN US
Can't get a scene out of my head of the Pathfinder sharing what they've learnt about the true purpose of their journey with the Milkway crew in ME:A, showing the vids and listening to the messages together, and the collective silent horror they would all share, staring transfixed at the screen, Ja'al keeping a respectful distance at the back of the room.
Then a shaky vid plays of a battleground of what could only be described as apocalyptic, monsters tearing across the streets, civilians and soldiers fighting and fleeing and dying- Liam can barely watch, images of his family flashing across his mind on loop- and it all seems hopeless as the cameraman runs for their life.
And then suddenly, an explosion, a break in the wave of chaos, and the view spins to a small squad in the distance, carving through the reapers, biotics and bullets sweeping the monsters away. The cameraman should be running, but they've stopped, watching, as entranced as the Andromeda crew. Ja'al stares as the crew leans in as one, the focus of the vid zooming in jankily- and there, emblazoned on the armour of the spearhead of the squad on the screen; N7.
"Shepard." Someone murmurs, quietly but with unerring confidence.
They don't know if their galaxy has been saved or not, the video abruptly cutting off, Sam helpfully supplying that the file had been corrupted during transfer- and maybe they never will. But it will be okay. Shepard is- was- fighting. Not just for humanity, but for the whole galaxy. Whatever happened, the galaxy was not alone.
The strongest guardian in the galaxy was there.
"they should bring back the inquisitor as the protagonist it gives them a personal stake in solas as a villain" there is nothing funnier than the new pc knowing absolutely nothing about solas and every single other person around them having deeply personal beef with him. literally nothing
just a heads up i am going to be unapologetically and unironically excited for da4
Mass Effect 3 had a lot of flaws, but getting to watch Kalros, mother of all Thresher Maws, take out a Reaper was not one of then.
Tali’Zorah! Finally finished my favourite Quarian girl.
playing dragon age: you have 64 different dialog and approval pages open at all the times bcs you need to carefully plan your team for every goddamn mission so you know what sort of lies you need to spout to achieve maximum approval. say “i think that murdering and torturing mages for fun is a bit unnecessary” without thinking who you have around you and suddenly half of your friends are like “-98465389 approval” and they will probably stab you in your sleep next night
playing mass effect: you can literally slaughter random people, betray your friends, murder families of your friends, murder the friends of your friends, murder your friends, torture people for shit and giggles and generally be objectively the worst person alive and ur team will be just like “haha Shep what the shit, that was a little extreme but i trust in your judgement, i lov you :)”
dont talk to me if you don’t know that this, recruits, is a 20-kilo ferrous slug. Feel the weight! Every five seconds, the main gun of an Everest-class dreadnought accelerates one to 1.3 percent of light speed! It impacts with the force of a 38-kiloton bomb! That is three times the yield of the city buster dropped on Hiroshima back on Earth. That means: Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son of a bitch in space. Now! Serviceman Burnside! What is Newton’s First Law?
An object in motion stays in motion Sir!
No credit for partial answers, maggot!
Sir! Unless acted upon by an outside force, sir!
Damn straight! I dare to assume you ignorant jackasses know that space is empty! Once you fire this hunk of metal, it keeps going till it hits something. That can be a ship. Or the planet behind that ship. It might go off into deep space and hit somebody else in ten thousand years! If you pull the trigger on this, you are ruining someone’s day, somewhere and sometime. That is why you check your damn targets! That is why you wait for the computer to give you a damn firing solution! That is why, Serviceman Chung, we do not “eyeball it!” This is a weapon of mass destruction! You are not a cowboy shooting from the hip!
ok but imagine a thedas eurovision au
‘and here’s tevinter! we can hope for another great number this y- aaaand it’s blood magic again’
“and now the orlesians—”
“and ferelden with…”
reasons the first mass effect game is feral
mass effect 2 and 3 are also kinda feral in their own ways but they’re like please do these organized missions and help ur friends and we have a special shuttle to take u everywhere and later we have a guy who will actually fly you places and help you and everyone knows you by name but in mass effect 1 you talk to people and they’re just like who the fuck r u loser and then you let the rachni queen go
it’s fucking incredible
Because it’s about damn time I just put everything in a single post that’s easy to refer to. I will add to this as more characters ever come up!
I don’t see the point in just plain listing things, so I’ve included all the math and reasoning behind these.
Companions are grouped by games, with other characters at the end.
I think my most niche Dragon Age headcanon is elves evolved to be apex predators and my evidence for this is:
Flatter brow bone - Better sense of smell
Smaller frame - Faster
Pointed ears - Better hearing
Nightvision - Hunting at night = better ambushing
And then you add in the common headcanon that elves have sharper teeth and well... that completes it.
Because of this I think elves are less omnivorous than humans. Like. They CAN eat plants without getting sick but it doesn't do much for them nutritionally, they need to eat meat to stay healthy. Unlike a human who can survive off of a plant-based diet alone
This adds NOTHING to the games really but I think it's fun. So putting it out in the world for anyone to play with.
Crafty Minotaur
i snorted so fucking hard omg
omg fuck me i snorted coffee
OMFG
A thought I had about Garrus "I Took A Rocket In The Face And It Only Made Me More Mad" Vakarian in ME2: picking Garrus as the leader of at least one of the fire teams in Suicide Mission is not only sensible, because as the Shadow Broker terminal says, he has excellent team-building and leadership skills, it's also a chance for Garrus to get closure that doesn't have anything to do with revenge. He lost his whole team back on Omega, but is now leading another into hell against impossible odds - and he pulls it off. He gets the job done and brings his team back alive. Hearing his gleeful exclamations trough Shepard's earpiece throughout the fight makes me feel like it's exactly what is happening. What he needed was not revenge. What he needed was something to go right. Just once.
