Times Are Tough, I Sing Forever For My Supper

So, as y’all may know, I lost my 9-5 job last year. I’ve moved on from there and am clawing my way forward, but – for a number of reasons – clawing our way forward and putting out a series of fires one after the other is the way it’s gonna be. For a while I kept saying ‘it’ll be fine if we get to’ X or Y or Z point, and then something else would happen and knock us back on our asses – an unexpected house repair, the fact that I have to pay for private insurance in addition to Medicaid to be able to get my medication (and it costs about $110 per appointment just to see a doctor, on top of the $300 a month for the insurance, what), and on and on. We still don’t have a fully-functioning bathroom (our sink is still sitting in my living room) because we simply haven’t had the $500 to pay someone to come install it. I mean, we can wash our hands and brush our teeth in the shower. We’ve been able to push it down the priority list.

But like, times are tough af all around, so. That’s life.

Aaaanyway so. If you like what I do on the internets, and you’d like to support me and my family and make sure @mistresskabooms​ and @dadhoc​ and our pups are fed and clothed and sheltered, please consider:

Supporting me on Patreon! $1 gets you instant access to multiple chapters of multiple queer fictions, a bunch of short stories, some queer theory related rambling, and more. 

Buying me a coffee! I like coffee.

Donating to my PayPal. I pay bills with this money and use it to get to doctor’s appointments and buy supplies.

Buying something from my Etsy. I’ve added a bunch of new stuff, including the new Queer Love shirts, some Star Wars and Doctor Who stuff: patches, bags, t-shirts. 

Or just boosting this post. Thanks, friends. <3 

Things You Need To Know

What is this?

Well, first of all this is a project for all the writers of the Fantastic Beasts Fandom.

We are creating a weekly ‘calendar’ together, meaning we will have one fanfic per week for a whole year. In the end we want to have 52 stories—preferably from 52 different authors. But as I did this kind of project before, I know this is wishful thinking, so let’s aim for 52 different stories from as many writers as possible.

How does it work?

It’s really quite easy. You choose a week of the year 2018 and at one day in this week you upload a fanfic on AO3 and add it to the Fantastic Beasts Calendar Collection. In the end we will have a collection with 52 works, covering a whole year.

How do I partake?

Now, you just need to contact me on this Tumblr via IM with the Tumblr you want to participate with. You tell me the week you want to cover (you can see which ones are still free here)—first come, first served. For now I will give only one week to everyone.

If there are still weeks uncovered by the end of December, I will make a post to let you know that you can cover a second week if you want to.

Headcanon: When Harry gets his first place after Hogwarts that actually has more than one floor, he comes home after getting a load of boxes to find Hermione using a sledgehammer on the drywall beneath the stairs. And Ron’s like, “Look, mate, I borrowed this stuff from my dad, I’ve got a DRILL and a - what’s it called again, Hermione?” “A stud finder.” “Right, one of those, and we’re going to fix your stairs.” Harry’s like, “But there’s nothing wrong with them.” “Yes, Harry, there is.” Harry’s just sort of standing there in total bewilderment while Hermione totally demolishes the wall. “We couldn’t have done that with magic?” “No, Harry, this is personal. You two take this mess out to the skip.” And then Harry stands around a while longer and Hermione puts in support beams in the appropriate places so the stairs don’t fall in, and Ron’s very excited about using the stud finder even though Hermione won’t let him use the drill. When they’re finished, Harry has this set of shelves. So he says, still completely confused, “I thought we picked this place because it had loads of storage.” And Hermione says, “Go get some of my books. I know it’s just shelves, but it’s not a bloody cupboard.”

And every time Harry moves for the rest of his life, Ron and Hermione are there on moving day and they knock out anything under the stairs, even if it’s just a wall. Hermione reads a lot of books. Ron learns to use a miter saw and a carpenter’s square and practices the nail hammering spell until he can do it perfectly on the first try. And sometimes it isn’t very practical but it looks nice…

And sometimes, when they all get older and have children, it’s cozy and has a purpose…

And eventually Hermione gets the trick of there being nothing under the stairs at all…

Which is the story of how Harry Potter never lived in a house with a cupboard under the stairs again for the entire rest of his life.

Quality post.

i’ve seen this so many times and it just fucking gets funnier every single time it comes back. this is humor at its fuckign finest nothing else can ever top this

Hi there ! Here are some Tina Goldstein illustrations I did a loooong time ago and that I forgot to post on Tumblr, so here they are :)

a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay

neville: *messes up his potion*

gordon ramsay: *holds neville between two slices of bread* what are you

neville: an idiot sandwich

no no no!

Imagine that this is Gordon Ramsay a la Masterchef Junior

Neville: *messes up the potion, realizes it, starts crying quietly*

GR: What’s going on?

Neville: *explains how he messed up*

GR: Oh gosh okay…we can fix this, don’t cry, see, it’s fine now? Just be more careful when you’re adding the Newt’s eyes, all right? Drop them in gently. There we go. No more tears.

Neville: *giggles wetly, wiping eyes*

Yes, he only screams when he’s dealing with people that claim to know what they’re doing and clearly dont, when he’s teaching he’s very kind and patient because they’re still learning.

He’d probably do the bread thing to Malfoy.

nononononono. I get that Malfoy is a bit of a twat, but he’s still a kid. It’d be the teachers fucking up that he’d have trouble with.

Ramsay: All you had to do was treat it with a fucking Beozar! 

Slughorn: It was a stressfu-

Ramsay: How long have you been teaching potions?!

or

Ramsay: So you’re going to raise this boy SPECIFICALLY so he can die as part of your twisted little scheme? 

Dumbledore: It’s for the greater good, professor. 

Ramsay: The greater fucking good?! *holds two slices of bread either side of dumbledoor’s face* What are you? 

Dumbledore: Am I, per chance, an idiot sandwich? 

Ramsay: Yes, you fucking are. 

Okay, now I can reblog it!

@marauders4evr

Fantastic!

@alrightanakin

I’m in love

I MUST HAVE REBLOGGED A THOUSAND TIMESSSS

My favorite Gordon Ramsey moment is from the latest season of Master Chef Jr.

Gordon had run in to help a group of struggling kids with a team challenge and one of the older kids, a 12 year old boy, wasn’t passing attention while taking a pan out of the oven and not only spilled all the food but scalded Gordon.

It’s clear Gordon’s leg is in pain. He’s been badly burned without warning. But he doesn’t scream. He doesn’t yell, not even in pain, and he doesn’t go off on the child who is now frozen in fear. He calmly tells the child to set the pan down and to close the oven, safety first. Then tells him to go restart the food he was making, calm instructions.

My husband and I grew up in abusive homes where any mistake meant parents getting angry (my husband is terrified of spills or broken glasses because that meant beatings growing up, for me, anything going wrong, that could upset my mother, even if it wasn’t my fault meant screaming and emotional abuse).

I didn’t know someone could be so calm. That someone could not get angry, and put aside what they’re feeling (in this case a lot of physical pain) and not take it out on those around them, even when someone around them had messed up, because that person is a child.

Gordon Ramsey is a survivor of child abuse himself and as an adult, the most non-abusive person ever when it comes to kids.

im going to cry can gordon ramsey be my parent this sound so beautiful

Please take a moment to picture Gordon Ramsay taking over Potions when Snape becomes the DADA professor (instead of Slughorn) and not only being horrified when he realizes how terrified the students are that he’ll verbally abuse them when they mess up in Potions class but when he overhears how Snape treats students. Like can you IMAGINE the level of RAGE and CONTEMPT that Ramsay would harbor towards Snape? The asshat wouldn’t have made it to the end of HBP. Ramsay would’ve hexed his ass to kingdom come.

Rebloging ALL of this because Chef Ramsay is THE MAN!

-HC

Chef Ramsay would have become the kids’ favourite teacher and you can’t take that away from me.

Imagine him dealing with Umbridge

Every time I reblog this post, I swear to God, it only gets better.

Someboby needs to write a fanfic about this!

<posts this>

Keep reading

whiskers.

it all started 

there.

just a simple scribble of a pair of whiskers on their noses.

who knew that those whiskers

would be the start

of a meaningful friendship?

a friendship so strong.

that lasted for years.

the first one had a fringe, 

directed to his left.

a person 

who used to be bullied for looking like an emo.

who underestimates himself.

who doesn’t like himself.

who was always the second option.

never the first.

who never had a best friend for the first 18 years

of his life.

until he met the second one.

he also had a fringe

but directed to his right.

he was a huge creator

on a website called youtube.

the first one met the second one online

the first one would try to get the second one’s attention on a website called twitter.

and he did this almost everyday.

until the first one got noticed by the second one.

then they hit it off.

they would message each other.

they would skype each other.

the second one convinced the first one

to be brave and be like him.

so he did.

he posted his very first video.

then he continuously made videos.

gained subscribers.

then it came to a day

that they were to live

with each other.

since the second one was going crazy living alone

and the first one had no one.

made their very first q and a 

that would soon become a tradition.

and it went on and on.

they got noticed by a radio show 

they had radio shows together.

went to concerts together.

attended parties together.

grew together.

they were almost inseparable.

but no friendship won’t have difficulties

such as ‘that’ year

the year full of controversies for both of them

they both got massive fandoms

everything just suddenly went downhill.

but they stayed strong

they held on

both became successful.

they hosted a famous awards show.

they released two books.

they had a sim card.

they have their collab channel.

they even have their april fools one!

they have a merch store.

they accomplished a lot with each other.

traveled to countries,

had awards,

met new people.

the second one used to comfort the first one when the first one would have mental breakdowns.

the first one would convince the second one to come to a party since the second one were socially anxious.

they helped each other.

they cared about each other. 

they loved each other, like a best friend would do.

without the other, 

they wouldn’t be able to be in their current place.

they were thankful to their subscribers.

because without them, they wouldn’t been in the place where they are right now.

and the subscribers were thankful to them.

some of their subscribers were undergoing a tough time.

and were grateful because if it wasn’t for them, they would’ve taken their lives long ago.

or they would’ve hurt themselves long ago.

the first one didn’t even think that he would go this far and be this successful before.

the second one was absolutely grateful.

they had undergone tough times,

but they were there for each other.

these two persons are dan and phil.

the two people that saved my life

and some people’s life.

but this isn’t my story.

it’s theirs.

if there’s something you would learn from this,

it’s about believing in yourself.

just because you are being underestimated doesn’t mean you can’t reach your goal.

sure, you would struggle.

but you can’t express your happiness once you’ve claimed that goal.

dan didn’t believe himself. 

until he met phil.

the person that would cheer him up and encourage him to be happy.

now that’s what you call a true friendship.

a beautiful friendship.

all because of a pair of whiskers.

(N: im actually proud of this?)

selfgoals:

Doesn’t follow my blog aesthetic?

I don’t give a shit.

Asking for two clicks isn’t a lot.

The only good Nazi is a dead Nazi

I suddenly feel very Indiana Jones.

1st: reblogging without any hesitation.

2nd: where are these gifs from????

They’re from Kung Fury. It’s on Netflix.

Oh god a fun movie.

Basically a guy gets bitten by a radioactive cobra at the same time head beaten by nunchucks and somehow this filled his blood with kung fu.

Do NOT boycott the Fantastic Beasts franchise

Okay, so I’m going to try to keep it precise but I’ll probably end up ranting but here we go…

If you are claiming you’ll boycott the next four FBAWTFT movies because of Johnny Depp, you’re either a liar or not really a true fan.

First of all, Depp was NOT convicted or found guilty; Heard dropped the case against him pretty darn quick. The managers who supposedly said he did it? You do realize they were being sued at the time, right? Gee, I wonder why two people being sued would attempt to cash in on it… Heard abused her ex-girlfriend, she’s a known liar and I don’t believe her; 99.9% of the time, I believe people who come out about it - but from day 1 something has felt off about it. Her “bruises” moved places, police have said they found no evidence of him hurting her, and the “video” you all talk about is literally just him slamming cupboard doors. It’s not illegal to slam cupboard doors.

So, no, I don’t think he’s guilty frankly - Amber Heard is literally the ONLY person I’ve never believed, and that’s because of all the evidence.

Moving on, boycotting four films over ONE actor is incredibly stupid and petty. Depp has already been paid for his work, you’re not stopping him from getting money from the film(s) and it’s incredibly unfair to the other cast and crew. Eddie Redmayne, Katherine Waterston, Dan Fogler, and Alison Sudol have worked incredibly hard on this film - boycotting the film(s) mean they suffer more than Depp does.By boycotting the film, you’re increasing the chances WB won’t pick up the rest of the series - that means ALL OF THE CAST will lose jobs. All of the crew will lose jobs; set designers, make-up artists, costume designers, lighting people, extras etc….

All of the cast have said about how incredibly passionate they are about FBAWTFT - are you all really about to boycott such beautiful movies because of one person? 

People keep moaning and complaining “if Eddie and Katherine don’t speak out, then I won’t support them anymore” (A LITERAL FUCKING TWEET I SAW THIS AFTERNOON) and it’s like…??!? It’s not their place to talk about it! They’re not going to turn around and say “yeah, I think he did it and he’s awful” - what the fuck would that do to their film? 

Maybe the reason people in Hollywood aren’t speaking up about Depp is because they know he’s not guilty. 

I swear to Merlin, if you all boycott this series to the point that WB cancels the remaining movies, I will be so fucking pissed; the first film saved my life. I’ve said many times about how it got me through my grandmother’s cancer and passing, about how it’s given me hope; one of the reasons I am still alive and typing is because this film helped me discover Katherine, who has given me inspiration to carry on and pursue my acting career again. One of the reasons I’m still here is because I know there’s four films in what could be an incredible franchise to look forward to. This film has helped me and saved me, and if you think I’m going to abandon the franchise over one actor (who was never found to be guilty because the charges were dropped) then you’re wrong. 

(And to the people saying they won’t read/watch Potter anymore - what even is the point of that? Potter and Beasts are two different franchises set in the same world! Boycotting Potter - books and films that have been out for a LONG time - really is pointless!)

Rant

Many people hate Tina cause she turned in Newt Scamander. Like c'mon she just met this guy who’s breaking the law, she’s not in our 3rd person point of view where we see Newt as a splendid guy, and is a auror at that. From how she tried to protect Credence and bring her sis up, she’s a great girl. (Also, I know this is a cruel fact but honestly we can’t enter the story and be with Newt, so stop saying he’s yours and call her a bitch.)

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH MY BABIES THEY DESERVE THE WORLD PROTECT THEM AT ALL COSTS

the stages of relationships / newtina

(send in requests)

I love this

“I’ll Catch You” - Eddie and Katherine behind the scenes

me: I am so over newtina

warner brothers:

me:

I WILL NEVER BE OVER THEM

Newt Scamander & Tina Goldstein

Harry Potter & Hermione Granger

Partners in crime ♡

From “The Case of Beasts: Explore the Film Wizardry of Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them”

"-and probably kind of cute," AWWWW

If you’re looking at Tina Goldstein and Newt Scamander, then reading the blurb about FBaWtFT2 and wondering how long it could POSSIBLY take for these two idiots to get their shit together and get married…you really didn’t pay attention to the first movie at all, did you?

Here we have Tina who: - is the career girl, a MACUSA Auror at 25 (I mean holy shit that is impressive) - supports her baby sister - probably has no interest in playing house for any reason (see: Career Girl) - almost certainly doesn’t want kids (see again: Career Girl) - does not want to live in England OR a suitcase and actually only wants to live in NYC (see: MACUSA and sister) - doles out 10 “oh no you did not just do that” looks for every half-smile - dresses in menswear - literally is too oblivious to notice mustard on her nose - can’t verbally express actual emotions to save her life - Thunderbird

And then there’s Newt who: - is happiest when he’s traveling the world - works at MoM (England) when he’s not traveling the world - has a fierce connection and loyalty to Hogwarts and Dumbledore - literally lives out of a suitcase - already has like a hundred children (make no mistake I mean he calls himself “mum.”) - annoys people - sulks when he doesn’t get his way at age 29 - gets flustered and sad when Tina yells at him - is still hung up on his ex who is clearly a sociopath - can’t verbally express emotions to save his life - Hufflepuff

I mean, you guys. This could take a decade.

I’ll catch you.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SPOT ON, KATHERINE. 😂😂😍😍😍❤❤❤