i can kill ppl bcuz ive died before so i can reclaim killing
How many people’s most beloved childhood stuffed animals are actually teddy bears, like I feel like that’s a thing someone made up. Reblog this and put what your longest owned and/or favorite stuffed animal as a child was in the tags, inquiring minds want to know
From @mumblesplash
You are deranged
i’m like if a bloke who does fuck all was a shonen protagonist
For when a standard plastic cup is not fancy enough.
A find I had while looking around on Craigslist.
*becomes a knight strictly because the local bard is cute, and I want him to write songs about me*
*becomes a bard strictly because the local knight is cute and I want to write songs about him*
*becomes the village idiot because of a chemical deposit in the well behind my house*
*becomes the evil wizard because the local strong knight is cute and I want to get beaten by them.*
*dumps my evil chemicals in the well behind some random dude’s house*
Y'all ever experience Depression™️ and glue an entire pack of googly eyes to your vacuum robot?
That was not its final form, by the way
#biblically accurate roomba
“Many young Americans think that to know themselves they need to find themselves, and they hold the naive belief that if they could just strip off everyday life like layers of an onion they would reach their true core, unadulterated by other people’s expectations and the distractions of a fastpaced world. They believe that they have a true core, an essence, and that it sits inside of them waiting to be discovered, and that once they find it they will know whether they ought to be a doctor or a lawyer or a philosophy professor. Sometimes these young people go to Europe and work their way through Mediterranean countries picking grapes, confident that their true self will emerge somewhere en route to Italy. But people who believe that the self is like an onion and their true self is its core have not spent much time in the kitchen. Peel an onion down to its core and all you will find is air. You are not an untouched core. You are and will become the sum of your commitments, your choices—moral, intellectual, and practical—they amount to much the same thing in the end. To find yourself, don’t dig under the surface of your life. Look at what you actually do, at what you come to care for, at what you fight to defend. Look at the small choices you make every day in the classroom, in the way that you read and interpret and argue, and the big choices will sort themselves out by themselves.”
— 2003 - Tanya Luhrmann | Aims of Education | The University of Chicago (via logicandgrace)
um hey i know you probably don't want to hear this but your boyfriend was bleeding and he looked really hurt and pathetic so i made out with him a little bit sorry. in my defence he was literally covered in blood and you left him unattended.
immortality through not being incapable of death but by coming back to life after you die no matter what is such a cool power like it’s just so fucking metal. you can rip me apart if you want, i’ll rise from my own viscera and all you’ll have done is piss me off
i cant even think of many good examples of characters with this power… like theres time loop stuff and that’s its own thing but im talkin someone who gets killed and just re-assembles on the spot no time fuckery. on some miss fortune shit. idk it just seems so cool especially like, because it would fucking suck to have that power! idk i’d love to see a character whose whole thing is just repeatedly exploding themselves simply because they can and there are no consequences in order to do whatever it is they need to do. but also kind of fucking hating their job. theres probably a great example of this archetype in something i’ve seen/read/played and enjoyed but am completely forgetting rn
guy who says "it's okay im reclaiming it" when you tell him not to take the lord's name in vain
“one must imagine sisyphus happy” no, one must imagine him a stubborn asshole who thinks he’s smarter than everyone including the gods. i’ve heard plenty of versions where hades gives him the CHOICE to roll the boulder up the hill; it’s the only way he’s getting into elysium. if he wants to walk away, fine! he’ll just be relegated to the asphodel meadows (the “nosebleed/overflow” section of the underworld where all the normies end up).
and sisyphus, well, he’s a goddamn king. he cheated death! twice! a simple boulder is no match for his mighty wit.
hades’ punishment isn’t “you are forced to perform an unwinnable task forever”. it must fit sisyphus’ crimes. his hubris. any sane person, and quite a few insane ones, would spend a while pushing the boulder, maybe a few hours, maybe a few months, and eventually realize it was futile. an eternity in a peaceful meadow, not alone, not tortured, seems agreeable. but not to sisyphus. no, he’s too famous, too smart for that. he’ll get it to the top this time. this time. this time for sure.
tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva
touch starved but in a "I need someone to beat the shit out of me" way
You are an engineer specialising in repairing robotic androids, in a world where they have gained full awareness, and proclaimed their wish to co-exist with humanity, rather than wage war. Now, damaged androids keep coming to you for repairs, while referring to you as a doctor.
How to be scary and evil while still bringing joy and comfort to everyone around me
*gives you a foxglove* *gives you a nightshade* *gives you a devil’s trumpet* *gives you a moonflower* *gives you an oleander* *gives you a lily of the valley* *gives you a hydrangea* *gives you wisteria* *gives you a buttercup* *gives you a daffodil* *gives you an iris* *gives you elder berries* *gives you a
please slow down I can only eat so fast