cute date idea
we go to an aquarium. you point out all the fish you like. i jump in the tank and attempt to fight them to win your affection
But then you pick the shark, the god damn apex predator of the ocean. I go in there and try to fight it anyways. I fucking lose though because its a mother fucking shark and instead the shark wins your affection and you two end up getting married. That was 6 years ago and now whenever im on facebook I see how happy you are with your shark husband and shark children. I often think to myself that I never should have fought that shark but then I look and see how happy you are and realize, I wouldn’t change a thing.
ensign-chevvy
too deep not to reblog
I’ve never been told when to do my taxes. Or how. Or why. Or even what taxes are. But if I get it wrong, I go to jail.
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who was officially sworn in on November 4th, 2015, gives a very simple answer as to why he decided to have 15 men and 15 women on his cabinet.
idle-handss-deactivated20200807
I hope that someday you all become filled with so much happiness that it heals every part of you.
Can someone please tell me why I’m turned on right now
I am extremely caught off guard by the attraction I am feeling right now
youngbadmanbrown
this is the kind of suburban wine mom content i like to see
me: it’s ok I’m not mad me 5 mins later: actually? You can go to hell
ATTENTION ALL CANADIANS
In 2015, there is no doubt Stephen Harper is gong to try his hardest to make you forget about all the horrible things he’s done in his time as PM. In order to avoid that, let’s try to keep this list circulating.
In no way am I telling you who to vote for. I just hope you take a minute and read just a few of the many reasons why you shouldn’t vote for him.
- He’s homophobic. Harper was one of the few to oppose same-sex marriage becoming legal in 2003. The question is, is he still? Considering he refuses to acknowledge it, we can only assume. That, and on February 16, 2005, he claimed same sex marriage is not a human right.
- On May 6, 2001 in Calgary, he was quoted saying that he is against Canada’s bilingualism. “It has led to no fairness, produced no unity, and cost Canadian taxpayers untold millions.” Maybe there would be more unity if people like him actually took it seriously? And of all the things we pay taxes for, that should be filed under a necessity.
- You want to talk about taxes? How about the fact that he had (has?) his own personal hair stylist to follow him around, that we pay for. No other PM has ever done this.
- He’s done a lot to set women back a few years. Harper has cut funding for women’s advocacy by 43 per cent, shut down 12 out of 16 Status of Women offices in Canada and eliminated funding of legal voices for women and minority groups. Just like his control over the media, I suppose he figures they won’t be a threat to him if they don’t have a voice?
- Do I even need to begin with his treatment to the First Nations? The Harper government refused to sign the UN Declaration of the Rights United Nations Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples that was adopted by 144 other countries. He scrapped the Kelowna Accord. I will remind you he claimed the outrageous amounts of dead and missing aboriginal women is a sociological phenomenon, but not crimes, and refuses an inquiry. There is written proof he doesn’t care about aboriginal education. He chose to meet with a couple of pandas over the Idle no More peaceful protesters that walked 1,600 km to Parliament Hill, then gets on his high horse when their frustration leads to more drastic measures. Excuse me mister PM, but that tends to happen when people are ignored. Yes, he made that famous apology. But has he actually done anything to make matters improve? No. In fact, it looks like he does his damned hardest to quiet our voices. Ugh. I better move on from this one, or I’ll be here all day.
- He blindly follows America. Seriously. On March 25, 2002, he was quoted in Report Newsmagazine, “I don’t know all the facts on Iraq, but I think we should work closely with the Americans.” Now, thank god we did end up dodging that bullet, but he admits it himself that he doesn’t bother to check facts. How can we expect him to deal with the current war on terrorism?
- Atlantic Canada, I want you to think long and hard about when the last time it was he even acknowledged our existence, outside of a newsworthy travesty. One of his biggest angles is how he’s supposedly responsible for creating many job opportunities, (which we will get to in a minute.) That falls on deaf ears here, as we have the highest unemployment rates in the country. As you surely know, there are just not enough jobs to go around, and instead of creating more, he encourages us to move out West. My generation can’t afford to stay, and that is awful. Especially considering we have untapped resources! Oil is out there! The very thing we’re all chasing after in Alberta!
- Surely you’ve seen the pseudo “Economic Action Plan” commercials. How the Conservatives have blessed our country with wondrous employment opportunities. But have you ever actually investigated them? Rick Mercer has, and he beautifully explained what BS it is. The only people who actually benefited was the already extremely wealthy.
- He cheated his way through the 2006 election, violating the election spending limit.
- The total mess that was the new Census, that we are still suffering from.
- He’s tainted our foreign reputation, shutting down our aid to impoverished countries, refused to sign the UN’s declaration that clean water is a human right, wasted G20 money on an artificial lake, (may I remind you that we already have over 3 million natural ones,) and of course, the stupidity of our actions in Afghanistan. Richard Colvin admitted we were responsible for six times the amount of captured and tortured prisoners than the British, most of whom were just local, innocent people. Remember a time when Canada was known as the leading peacekeeping nation?
- Need I remind anyone of the recent Veteran’s Affairs scandal? Of all the people we should be looking out for, they should be at the top.
- He has eliminated or weakened almost every environmental law we had/have. He destroyed the Fisheries Act, the Navigable Waters Protection Act, got rid of the Environmental Assessment Act, withdrew from the Kyoto agreement, (making us the only country that originally signed it to do so,) and 3,000 other acts. 500 in BC alone. And to top it off, he refuses to acknowledge the serious threat global warming posses to those of us in the North. Canada has an unimaginable amount of natural resources that should be protected, not extorted. Otherwise we won’t have any left to use. (Those of us in the Atlantic know all to well what happened when we over-fished. Are we really going to stand back and let it happen with the rest of our country?)
- You may be asking, why hasn’t this been circulated already? Probably because Harper controls the media like a dictator, picking the questions that are asked, and ignoring the ones that are against his favour. In fact, he limits freedom of speech all together. This is something the US does. Perhaps Harper has forgotten, but we are not the US. We don’t want to be the US.
As I said, this is just a very short list. For more articles to read, I suggest taking a look at this website.
If anyone has anything to add, please do so! Make this list grow.
Also, if there is anyone who is willing to take the time to translate this to any other language, (because despite with Harper believes, we are bilingual,) you have my permission to do so.
Vote. Just don’t vote Conservative.
Note also what he has done to scientific funding.
He has vindictively cut environmental, biological, and climate science, because they risk calling him out.
He has restructured NSERC to provide fewer $$ to smaller universities for scientific research. He tolerates the existence of some sciences (like physics) but he would rather spend all the money on a few high profile photo ops at the perimeter institute than spreading it around.
He has restructured the NRC so that the only way to get a dollar from them is to provide industrially applicable research.
carryalaser
ohohoh
- Co-founded (by his admission) the Northern Foundation in the late 80s with two Alliance for the Preservation of English Canada dudes (lol) and Pres Anne Hartmann (director of REAL Women Canada, neo-nazi) the NF was originally an anti-Apartheid white-supremacist group that campaigned to lift government sanctions on white South African government and keep Mandela in jail, get Michaëlle Jean fired, & eventually spun out into general far-right bullshit. This was never contested until an aide tried to downplay his involvement after Mandela’s death and Harper’s Mandela tribute (jfc). NF also had many other prominent Reform Party members still playing politics. (he was however kicked out for not being fascist enough, he says)
- Killed amendments to his cyber-
spyingbullying bill C-13 to include gender identity/orientation to its amendment to our Criminal Code hate crime section. After his anti-bullying shpiels. But SOME bullying is okay! This amendment died because a pro C-279 (see next point) Tory was switched out for a no vote (the committee voted 5-4). - Voted no on Bill C-279, a private members bill expanding hate crimes protections under our Criminal Code and Human Rights Act to include gender identity and expression. It was passed 149-137 but has to go through Senate hearings, where it’s been stalled by summer and restarted because of him proroguing parliament and will probably stagnate until our next election when it will have to be resubmitted. This bill has infamously dredged up opposition from REAL Women Canada (remember this from point 1?) who have dubbed it the “Bathroom Bill”, and a Senator who us lying about and using Ontario’s Toby act to say this bill will let cishet dudes assault women, letters from highschool students afraid of “biological males” etc. The hearings also literally heard from this far-right hate group REAL Women. It’s a fucking mess.
Basically hate crimes are necessary to protect women from things that are already and always will be illegal (and that any other day, no one gives a shit about) also
- His unnecessary slam of our country’s arts and culture sector after his $45 mil cuts that somehow someway artists have the money to attend fancy galas ‘ordinary people don’t care about’ where the fuck does he think clothes come from, among other things
Created Bill C-24, turning me and millions of other Canadians into second class citizens because we have (or are eligible to apply for) dual citizenship. I was born in Canada. I lived in Canada for 21 years. And now, suddenly, because my mother was born in the UK, the government could take away my Canadian citizenship at any time, without a judge involved, in the event of my committing any one of several vague “crimes” - including being convicted of terrorism by another country for reporting on their human rights abuses. That’s not one I’m likely to fall afoul of, personally, but considering Harper has censored Margaret Atwood for criticising his hair and fired a migratory birds scientist for criticising him in a folk song, I don’t trust the government (who, let me remind you, do not need to involve an actual judge in this process) to accurately assess what constitutes ‘demonstrations of disloyalty to Canada, like treason‘. If I write here that Stephen Harper’s hair looks like a Lego piece inserted into a hole on the top of his head, will that be called treason? Have I just lost myself my rapidly devaluing second-class citizenship?
Acted exclusively in the interests of rich, white, straight men (who don’t care if the planet and humankind survive particularly long into the future). He has a terrible record on First Nations Rights, women’s rights, LGBTQIA+ rights, human rights, animals rights, etc, etc.
Passed a bunch of laws to make it difficult for people who probably wouldn’t support him to vote. Because that’s nice and democratic, isn’t it.
And you know what’s extra great? I HAVE BEEN STRIPPED OF MY RIGHT TO VOTE, SO I CAN’T EVEN HELP GET RID OF THE BASTARD. Why? Because I have lived abroad for five years. In my other country of citizenship - where, despite not having been born here and it being the UK which is hardly known for its acceptance of immigrants, I still enjoy all the same legal rights as a first class citizen. I have been a student for some of this time, and dependent on my (Canadian-resident) parents financially. I’ve had to keep filling out tax returns in Canada. But I don’t get to vote because they argue that Canadian laws ‘have little to no practical consequence’ for my daily life? How do they reckon that being reclassed as a second-class citizen doesn’t affect me? What if I want to come back? I’m here studenting, and living abroad, as one does in their twenties (if they can afford it and/or have the dual citizenship to make it work) - maybe I’ll return to Canada, maybe I won’t - but I’m sure as hell not coming back to a Harper government where I am a second-class citizen. So why the fuck can’t I help vote for a government I might be proud to come back to? (and yeah, I live in the UK, with David fucking Cameron - my preference for this bunch of knob-ends over Harper is really saying something).
SO PLEASE, I BEG YOU, THOSE WHO ARE ELIGIBLE TO VOTE IN THE CANADIAN ELECTION: VOTE. Vote NDP, vote Liberal, vote Green, vote Bloc Quebecois, vote for the Marxist-Leninist party or Marijuana party or go to the polling station and draw a fucking goat all over your ballot paper, just make it clear that you do not want Stephen Harper. Defy his attempts to stop you registering or finding information out about elections. We cannot afford to let him win again.
And if you’re not Canadian - or not a Canadian who is eligible to vote - please reblog to reach those who are.
artistiquesoul
This is the cutest thing ever.
Introvert: please don't talk to me dirty extrovert
Extrovert: [screaming like a chimp and throwing own faeces]
Introvert: I want to read Hemingway in peace!!
Extrovert: [smears shit across the wall shrieking]
someone on tv: *mentions the country yemen*
me: 15 yemen road, yemen