a bitch has to do everything herself around here
Keanu, when asked what sort of girls he likes. 1994.
Big Breakfast: What sort of girls do you like?
Keanu: Oh man…*holds face in hands* *repeats question* they’re all angels.
Big Breakfast: really? And are you single at the moment?
Keanu: Yeah…*howls softly like a sad dog*
The promiscuous women bot accounts keep following me I am fucking under attack
Who wants to see my cat totally brave and not at all scared at the vet
Excellent. Here she is, being super brave:
Hello my dear Customers~
Today should be the day you ALL buy a Thneed!!
I’m straight but this gif makes my prostate clench it kinda hurts
there is no justice in this world for girls who don’t want to get up but have to
I bought this expensive ass yogurt as a gift to myself so that I could make little candles in the tiny terracotta pot it comes in and it turns out it is the best, creamiest, most buttery heavenly delicious yogurt I have ever tasted and I’m now addicted
sometimes things that are expensive are worse but sometimes things that are expensive are astronomically better and that’s where the real problem lies
HEARTBREAKING: Poor girl has to get out of the soft warm bed even though she is so so so so comfy
"You know how I describe the economic and social classes in this country? The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. The middle class pays all of the taxes, does all of the work. The poor are there... just to scare the shit out of the middle class. Keep 'em showing up at those jobs." -- George Carlin
Karl Marx analysed this phenomenon, which he referred to as “the reserve army of the unemployed” or “the reserve army of labour”.
floxi-deactivated20230719
i have never ordered the chocolate croissant from starbucks because it looks like it has feelings
Just ate an entire pear that was so good and so juicy i started gnawing on it with both hands like an animal and the face my supervisor made when he passed by my desk while I was absolutely consumed by my pear fueled bacchanal was Something i have never seen someone look so tired and also so upset and also also so envious
Had another pear today it was even JUICIER than the pear I had yesterday and had to eat over my trashcan so I didn't get juice all over myself and while I was hunched over lost in the sauce I heard the deepest sigh and when I looked up my supervisor was standing over me like
