Avatar

SIPHILEMON

@siphilemon / siphilemon.tumblr.com

Phi - he/him - agender - ace - writes so much fanfiction

I have some thoughts, sometimes, about a universe where Pengolodh the unreliable narrator strikes again.

Fingolfin's host sees the ships burning and has thirty years of pain and awfulness to stew in disgust and fury. If they get to Beleriand and someone from Feanor's host tries to tell them something like "oh we didn't burn the ships, [other reason for big naval fire] happened!" then Fingolfin's host is never going to ever accept that.

They'd think it's the notoriously morally corrupt Feanorians telling lies & trying to manipulate people again, to cover their own asses or not take responsibility for their actions or try to stop the Icy Bois from being mad at them. It's clearly not true.

Then we have everything that happens in the first age, and all the accounts get confused and mixed anyway, and by the end almost all the feanorian followers are dead and no one is going to start being a feanorian apologist bc they will literally immediately get murdered. Like many other things in the first age, only one version of events survives, and it's not necessarily the true one.

"Feanor totally deliberately did an evil thing and set all the shops on fire and his son with them and he laughed while he did it" does smell a bit of anti-Feanorian propaganda, even though it does also completely make sense in canon given the direction Feanor went in. But its eaually plausible to argue that ideas of Feanor as an irredeemable villain totally blew up after the first age, and this was one of them! It would also explain the competing narratives about Amrod's fate if it was another rumour that sprung up out out of anti-Feanorian sentiment.

So what actually happened? Two takes.

1: something else caused the ships to catch fire. It's also entirely plausible that they weren't in good enough condition to sail back after the absolute bashing Uinen, Ossë & Ulmo put them through in the aftermath of the First Kinslaying. I don't like this one as much, because it makes the Feanorians completely blameless in the ship burning, which I think is boring and unrealistic and somewhat of a cop out. But it's fun to play with lots of alternate ideas of canon.

2: I like the idea of the timeline being a bit wrong; it's all dark, there's no days, the host of Fingolfin has no way of knowing how long it took the Feanorians to sail to Beleriand or how long they were there before the fire became visible. And I think the rest happened in quick succession;

  • they land, fight alongside Cirdan's people as in canon
  • Maedhros: can we send the boats back now? What about Fingon? Uh, I mean, our host and supplies and army I'm thinking totally strategically here
  • but Feanor is high on the victory of battle and there's fire in his blood, he wants to press onwards, he doesn't want to be stuck with the boring stuff of ship supplies and sending them back for his awful half brother.
  • and what if he can defeat morgoth without fingolfin
  • so fairly soon afterwards, the battle against Morgoth's larger forces is fought.
  • Feanor dies. "even in the hour of his death," Maitimo goes to parlay and is captured, his whole host slain.
  • The effect that this has had on the entire Feanorian host is- awful.
  • They've stepped from a deathless paradise where they thought they knew grief and darkness but they didn't, to a land where your might and your story arc don't matter, because anyone can die.
  • Even in the hour of death, Feanor knew the Noldor assault was hopeless. Maedhros goes to the parlay because maybe they can't get through by military might but if there's any chance they can win this and fulfill the oath that they're just now realizing they swore without knowing the truth of the world, or of doom- but he fails too.
  • This world is terrible beyond Maglor's darkest dreams. He sees that there's no hope, he's consumed by despair, and if he can save anyone at all...
  • He puts the ships to flame.
  • Go back, he means, go back while you can, go back and live.
  • They don't.

The glance of Glaurung

…and looking westward she stared straight into the eyes of Glaurung, whose head lay upon the hill-top. Her will strove with him for a while, but he put forth his power, and having learned who she was he constrained her to gaze into his eyes, and he laid a spell of utter darkness and forgetfulness upon her, so that she could remember nothing that had ever befallen her, nor her own name, nor the name of any other thing…

J.R.R.Tolkien, “Silmarillion”

At long last, after school has chewed and spit me back out after what seems like forever, I found enough time to art for a bit. And because the fandom has corrupted me, I am proud to present everyone’s favorite silm couple cousins chilling under a tree. Or at least, Maedhros is. Fingon is just being himself.

click image for full quality

I love the ambiguity of the term ‘WIP’. Is it a project in it’s third draft? A final draft being queried? An idea I came up with six months ago and haven’t written anything about yet? You don’t know. Nobody knows. 

Least of all the author

The best part about this being an uncaptioned picture is it is simultaneously “We know, but hey!” and also “there is an AUTHOR loose in a word processor”

There’s an AUTHOR loose in a word processor!

Nobody knows what the author’s gonna do, least of all the author.

When there’s an author loose in a word processor, ya gotta stay updated, so all day long you refresh AO3 going, “what’d the author do today?” The updates aren’t bad, sometimes they’re just odd. It’ll be like, “the author uploaded a 50k one shot they wrote in one night?” I didn’t know people who slept could do that.

There are quiet days where people are like, “it seems like the author has gone to bed and taken some time for self care,” and then ten seconds later the author is like, “I’M GONNA POST EVERY WIP I CAME UP WITH IN THE LAST FOUR MONTHS. I’VE GOT INSOMNIA AND WRITER’S BLOCK, I’M AN AUTHOR!” That’s what I thought you’d say you fucking brilliant author! ❤️😭❤️

There were precisely zero reasons to come out and drag me so effectively like this.

and then… THEN you go to the comments and see people who are like “you should be sleeping” and it’s like:

“WE’RE WELL PAST THAT”

Nobody ever talk to me about the catholics going off with stained glass again because not one window of jesus has ANYTHING on the Nasir al-Mulk Mosque

i absolutely love seeing people’s reactions to the pink mosque 😂

the style is called “orsi” and is unique to iran

and stained glass traces its roots to south west and west asia, developed in ancient times and well before the europeans and the roman empire saw it and said “hey i like that, i’ll be leaving with it”

and while we’re talking about mosques in iran, may i present persian mirror work?

yes, these are real places! it’s a different mosque in the same city as the first picture (the shah cheragh mosque in shiraz)

every time someone tries to talk to me about western churches and architecture and their superiority to that of “third world countries” i have to laugh a little at the ignorance, especially when our mosques look like this

You’re a daycare worker, watching over toddlers, when the imminent end of the world is announced. It becomes increasingly clear none of the kids’ parents are going to show up as the end inches nearer.

[Audio starts]

“Mom has been texting me for the last twenty minutes. She wants me to come home. It’s a four hour drive, when the roads are clear, and from what I hear everybody is trying to get somewhere right now. There’s no telling if I’d even-”

“Everybody else has left. All the other kids were picked up, the other staff left. They gave me all the keys. I promised to stay and wait for as long as- well. Even if some of the parents show up, I guess some of them won’t, so I’m just waiting. Until.”

[Clears throat.]

“A couple of people came after everybody left. Peter, one of Aidan’s fathers, gave me three hundred dollars for staying. What am I going to do with money? It’s- anyway. I kind of get it. He wanted to give me something.”

[Audio ends]

[Audio starts]

“They’re all between 2 and 4.” Sniff. “They’re so little. Too little to really- maybe if they were older, I’d have to tell them something. But um. I’m just- trying to stay calm and keep them happy and occupied. I think that’s the best thing, right now.”

[Heaving breaths.]

“I normally use this recorder to help me remember stuff. It’s just, uh, habit to talk to it. I don’t know. They’re napping, right now. I’ve got the baby monitor, they know that if they talk into it, I’ll come, so-”

[Sobbing.]

[Audio ends]

[Audio starts]

“Mom keeps texting, so I blocked her. I sent her a text telling her goodbye, first, but. I do. But these kids need me.”

[Sniff.]

“I tried calling their parents again, but I can’t get anybody. It’s just busy signals. I called the firefighter station, 911. I can’t get through to anybody.”

[Shaky breath.]

“I went out into the yard. Um, I think they can play. It’s nice out, and you can’t really see it yet. Little bit of a glimmer, if they ask I’ll just tell them it’s a plane, but it’s nice out and we’ve got hours before-”

[Murmuring child’s voice, indistinguishable.]

[Audio ends]

sometimes depression is so scary because you stop being able to achieve any sense of fulfilment. a huge part of being human is looking forward to things and having treats, goals, rewards, outcomes that you strive towards. if you don’t have those things it can be really, really hard to find any sense of purpose. having depression is asking yourself what do i want to eat, what do i want to watch, what do i want to play, what do i want to listen to, what do i want to do, what am i looking forward to, what’s driving me to keep going, and having the answer be a resounding ‘nothing’

Well it WORKED, dinnit???

Avatar

I know two people irl who do this

Uhhhh “ancient Americans” you mean the Co-Salish peoples who bred wooly dogs up until sheep were introduced in the area? So recently that we have photos??

You mean the co-Salish people that still live in the region?

The article talks about an expensive extensive study of animal bones found in exacavations done to “discover” that indigenous people used dogs for wool. Like why? There’s photos and there’s people you can literally just ask about it. This isn’t new information.

Avatar

commission for fangxiin on twitter 🗡

……………. and then some …… haha ……. they told me their AU was wei wuxian being raised by hualian. and i LOVE AUs like that so without knowing anything specifically about their story i went to town on his clothes and was just basically shooting in the dark in terms of design hoping i hit something. also why is everything i upload blurry i sized it down and everything this website hates me

Love being brutally called out by the British Library

Oh my gosh I went here a few days ago do you guys want to see the whole sign

I’m covered with “Librarians from Everywhere” but as a former museums professional “Tourists who think we’re the British Museum” really speaks to me on a personal level.

I’m “all ten people who think they’ve got the most niche interest in the whole building”